Sorry, today is not finding me in a better mood. I feel like a lioness roaring over her lost cub. That is how I feel now, raging and roaring. Even after a good hard run this morning, I still feel like breaking things. I want to smash every glass in the house until I realized how much plastic crap we really have. You see, I feel like I lost my son. In fact, I know I did. Over the last few weeks, I’ve seen it coming. I knew it would happen, I just didn’t think it would be this soon. The late night calls the night before the marathon. The message he left during always asking if he can hang out with his friends. He never once asked me how the marathon was, he told me he didn’t care about me anymore. He says his life was all about his friends now. Then the texts started coming from a friend’s mom. She was worried because her son stopped talking to her. She found condoms, a lighter, and cigarettes in his room. Before this happened, I also found a lighter which my son claimed was for lighting off fireworks which didn’t put my mind at ease.
Then yesterday it happened. I received a phone call at work from another friend’s mom stating that her son confessed to smoking with my son. I will leave it at that. A search of his room also turned up condoms and OTC sleeping pills. I am so angry. He is grounded right now, but he said that things most likely won’t change. Just another thing I am bracing myself for. I feel terribly alone right now, but I am sure that many parents have been in this place. I remember my daughter telling me lately that the daughter of one of her favorite teachers got caught having sex on the bus. There is a new rule in place that boys have to sit on one side of the bus and girls on the other. Oh my gosh, does it ever end? Parents of young children, enjoy being with them while you can. I hope you never have a prodigal son.
On a good note, I found Mark and Carla’s wedding gift. That is done. No, it is not a lifetime supply of birth control. Tempting though. I also found some Pink Floyd undies on clearance. Woo hoo, that should cover the dark side of my moon. Lol. I am happy about one more thing….I have been trying to find the girl that finished the last difficult hours of the marathon with me on Facebook with no success. She found me yesterday. She was using a fake name, so it would have been impossible to find her.
I also decided that I will tell my mom that Luke and I would like to spend some time with my mom on vacation without Matt. I don’t need to stress Luke out about that. I doubt if my week could get anymore stressful anyway.