Mental health awareness month

Many of you are probably aware that May is mental health awareness month. Maybe you already shared the cutesy memes on social media stating you are a friend that anyone can call day or night. Maybe that is enough for you to feel good to check off your awareness month, and have moved on to planning your pride party for June. Or maybe you also live in Wisconsin and are stocking up on cheese curds for June dairy month. I know, I know…cheesy..

Or maybe you are like me and found out that mental illness is not all that cute. Maybe you or your loved one has already lost the friend that you can call anytime. Mental illness is tough. I’m sure everyone who struggles with it would remove that part of their life if they had the choice. It’s so painful and malignant, that far too many remove themselves from life altogether when it refuses to leave them.

Through NAMI, and talking with other parents whose children struggle with mental illness, I was surprised to find some striking similarities. I am not the only parent whose child attempted suicide. I am not the only parent whose child was incarcerated after a psychotic episode. I am not the only parent whose child, after making abuse allegations, moved in with another family. I am not the only parent whose child hears voices commanding them to end their life and soothing voices telling them how peaceful death is. I am not the only parent whose child has lost a lot of good friends because of their mental illness. I am not the only parent whose child was bullied because they are different.

I could make a much longer list. But the point here is awareness. Don’t blame the family. Don’t blame the mentally ill. Most would choose to change it if they could. Don’t shun them out of ignorance or fear. Treat them as if they have a potentially life threatening form of cancer. Treat them with compassion while being mindful of your own mental health as well.

Be kind to the server who has cutting scars all over her arms. For today, she has successfully battled the voices in her head. She has battled the voices outside her head sending similar messages about her worth. She has many battle wounds but is still alive fighting. That girl is also my daughter. But she could be your daughter as well. Or your son, sibling, parent, partner, neighbor, friend, or yourself.

Be aware that one in five Americans struggle with mental illness.

Life around here lately

It seems like forever since I wrote about life as it currently is. I don’t know where to start. And now we find ourselves at the end of May. The temperature is slowly starting to climb up and today we face the first risk of severe weather. The air feels charged and I hear the rumble of distant thunder. But for a time I’ve found myself in calm waters.

This past weekend Paul and I went to a NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) training seminar to prepare to teach a class for families next winter. It was an excellent educational experience, albeit exhausting. Paul is gearing up for another busy summer running our seasonal business. He had his annual physical a couple weeks back and his numbers weren’t quite where they were supposed to be. Tomorrow he is going in for a CT scan. At this point, we haven’t talked much about it to others and are trying not to worry.

Angel already finished reading the memoir I wrote. I haven’t had the opportunity to talk to her much about it, but I think she loved it. She was happy I shared it with her and if nothing else she has a small piece of her family history. I’m not sure how she did it, but she was able to upload my book onto her Kindle to read it. It was a strange experience to see my book in that format, almost as if I was already a published author. Over the weekend, Angel finished her second half-marathon. She was going to run the full marathon but suffered from an injury earlier this year so is putting the full off until the fall. Dan was going to run the half with her but he also got injured right before the race and couldn’t run. I know she will finish her goal of running a marathon.

Alex just completed his certificates in audio recording and music production. He has been given the opportunity to play in a wildly popular local band. We’ll see where he goes with it.

Arabella has been doing well. She is on a medication regime that works for her. For the first time in her life she considers me a best friend. We have been getting along better than we have ever gotten along before. I’m trying to enjoy the good times with her while they last. It’s been a very long road to get to this point for all of us. Last week Arabella turned 21. Although the doctor said she could only have one drink, the family pulled together and made it a great day for her.

I can’t complain, things are going well and I’m enjoying having a close relationship with all of my kids. That doesn’t mean everything is perfect. I enjoyed Mother’s Day with all my kids and their significant others. It turned out to be a hot and humid day which rarely occurs so early in May. I didn’t have much of an agenda, just church in the morning, yard games in the afternoon, and going out to eat that evening at the restaurant Arabella works at. My brother Matt was sick so my mother came over without him which was nice. If Matt were there, my mom would cater to him and leave early. My mom stayed to go out to eat for supper.

I did find myself annoyed with my mom on Mother’s Day. When we asked if she would go out to eat for Arabella’s birthday, she said she wasn’t going to go because she didn’t like tomatoes. What did that have to do with anything? She ended up changing her mind later in the week and ended up going but I was irritated. We had a long wait to get a table at the restaurant and once again I found myself irritated because there wasn’t a lot of seating in the waiting area. I was annoyed that the young people weren’t offering up their seats for the elderly patrons. It’s a big pet peeve of mine.

All in all, it was a good day. Angel and Dan came to church with us. Angel made some lemon dessert bread which she has to save the recipe for. It was excellent! Paul made us a nice lunch of grilled cheese, tomato bisque soup, and salad. We played bocce ball and jenga (which I lost at twice). We enjoyed the sunny day. Angel and Dan left before supper to visit Dan’s mom. We had a great supper with Arabella as our server. Later in the evening, Paul, Alex, Lexi, Arabella, and I were going to watch a movie. Arabella said she wasn’t feeling the best and wanted to go to bed. Next thing I heard was several big splats from the other room and a call for mom. Arabella threw up all over her bed and the floor. Lexi offered to help me clean up the mess, but I refused.

That’s what being a mom (a parent) is all about, taking the good along with the bad. And hopefully when the storms come, being able to weather them.

The sun is shining now, but I know the storms are coming soon.

Fortune cookie wisdom #53

Let’s finish this up now, someone is waiting for you on that.

I received this fortune cookie several months ago, or who knows maybe my husband did. At the time, he said it was about finishing my memoir. Well, this past week I finished it. I thought I would feel excited, but I felt rather somber about it. Instead of relishing in the success of completing my goal, I felt like I finished my life’s grand purpose. I spent years thinking about it and working on it. I had the idea in my mind since grade school.

I know it sounds melodramatic, but what will I do next? I want to keep writing. For the first time I considered writing fiction. But at this point I’m really not sure. There is still much work to do to get my book published.

I told my daughter Angel I would let her read my book. I want my husband to read it too. This past weekend my daughter loaded my book onto a flash drive. It makes me nervous to think she will start reading it soon.