Author: Outrunning my demons

What to write

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I haven’t been feeling very motivated to write since I finished my book. I say finished loosely because it is going to need more work. Nothing major though. I hope to have it ready to publish by early next year.

I think I need to revisit my goals. What do I want to do next? Try my hand at fiction? Or am I happy to keep writing on a personal blog although with my book it seems like I told everything I wanted to tell. I think I want to keep writing in some capacity, but what?

There are always things going on in my life to write about. I guess I wasn’t meant for a life of mediocrity. Sometimes I am jealous of people who live an ordinary average life who can join groups on Facebook called the dull women’s club. True story, I looked at some of their posts and some people just sit around watching their garden grow. I could only post about watching my plants slowly die.

I figured part of my problem is that I was never shown how to care for plants. My mom got rid of all our houseplants when she went on a kick that my brother Matt was allergic to them all. Last summer I bought a banana plant and the only way it lived over winter was because a friend showed me basic plant care 101.

My grandpa had a nursery when I was young. One day, he pulled out a dying shrub he was going to get rid of. I decided I was going to ‘rescue’ the shrub. So I planted it in my backyard and watered it everyday. One day I went out to water it, and it was no longer dying. It even looked twice its size, green and healthy. It was a miracle, I saved it. But now as I am older I realize my grandpa probably had something to do with my unrealistic expectations about plant rescue.

This is totally going in an unanticipated path. I do have a lot of stories to tell, but we’ll save them for another rainy day. There have been a lot of rainy days as of late. The arthritis in my knee has been acting up for the last week or so. I may soon be able to predict the weather like my relatives of old. My arthritis is acting up, it’s going to rain. How time changes things. Five years ago I would be trying to get in a run before the storm. Now I sit around and complain about how hard it is to walk because my joints can feel the rain coming. It’s hard to think I will never be able to do something again I used to enjoy so much.

Maybe I’m just having another mid-life crisis. I will be 50 in less than a month. It’s hard kissing my 40’s good-bye. Fifty is old. I’ve gained weight. I can’t see worth a crap. Some days I have a hard time getting around. Arthritis. Grey hair. I don’t look or feel young anymore. I’m at an all time low, but it’s not going to get any better. But I’m trying not to complain about it too much because those people are just a drag to be around.

Otherwise, things are going okay. Arabella is stable on her medicine. On Monday, she has a goal planning appointment with her new case manager to help her gain independence. She literally hasn’t visited with friends for weeks and spends her day following me around. I don’t mind all that much. I’m trying to enjoy what time I have with her. She never liked me before so in that way it is kind of nice. I know I’m cool and all, but I want much more for her than that.

My other two kids, Angel and Alex, are not getting along. That has been stressful because I hate feeling like I am in the middle especially with a holiday weekend coming up. Not to mention dealing with the extended family. Then having a party and turning 50 right after that.

I have been feeling pensive and melancholy lately. Maybe I just need a little sunshine.

A different path

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It’s that time of year again…Father’s Day weekend. This year I really lucked out and found a rather generic card. It said something like ‘Ears to you, have a great Father’s Day’. On the front of the card was a picture of a beagle with big ears. I sent it off in the mail yesterday and now I’m done.

It really doesn’t bother me as much anymore that I don’t have the kind of dad I can buy a heartwarming inspirational best dad ever card for. I mean, it sucks, but I’ve accepted that.

Instead, I’m going to put the focus on what matters the most and that is the family I built. I’m going to celebrate the day with the father of my kids. It’s also my son’s birthday on Father’s Day, but we’ll be celebrating that another day.

There is a time to let go and accept what is. It’s not what I would’ve chosen if I had the choice. And when I had the choice, I took a different path.

Mental health awareness month

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Many of you are probably aware that May is mental health awareness month. Maybe you already shared the cutesy memes on social media stating you are a friend that anyone can call day or night. Maybe that is enough for you to feel good to check off your awareness month, and have moved on to planning your pride party for June. Or maybe you also live in Wisconsin and are stocking up on cheese curds for June dairy month. I know, I know…cheesy..

Or maybe you are like me and found out that mental illness is not all that cute. Maybe you or your loved one has already lost the friend that you can call anytime. Mental illness is tough. I’m sure everyone who struggles with it would remove that part of their life if they had the choice. It’s so painful and malignant, that far too many remove themselves from life altogether when it refuses to leave them.

Through NAMI, and talking with other parents whose children struggle with mental illness, I was surprised to find some striking similarities. I am not the only parent whose child attempted suicide. I am not the only parent whose child was incarcerated after a psychotic episode. I am not the only parent whose child, after making abuse allegations, moved in with another family. I am not the only parent whose child hears voices commanding them to end their life and soothing voices telling them how peaceful death is. I am not the only parent whose child has lost a lot of good friends because of their mental illness. I am not the only parent whose child was bullied because they are different.

I could make a much longer list. But the point here is awareness. Don’t blame the family. Don’t blame the mentally ill. Most would choose to change it if they could. Don’t shun them out of ignorance or fear. Treat them as if they have a potentially life threatening form of cancer. Treat them with compassion while being mindful of your own mental health as well.

Be kind to the server who has cutting scars all over her arms. For today, she has successfully battled the voices in her head. She has battled the voices outside her head sending similar messages about her worth. She has many battle wounds but is still alive fighting. That girl is also my daughter. But she could be your daughter as well. Or your son, sibling, parent, partner, neighbor, friend, or yourself.

Be aware that one in five Americans struggle with mental illness.

Life around here lately

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It seems like forever since I wrote about life as it currently is. I don’t know where to start. And now we find ourselves at the end of May. The temperature is slowly starting to climb up and today we face the first risk of severe weather. The air feels charged and I hear the rumble of distant thunder. But for a time I’ve found myself in calm waters.

This past weekend Paul and I went to a NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) training seminar to prepare to teach a class for families next winter. It was an excellent educational experience, albeit exhausting. Paul is gearing up for another busy summer running our seasonal business. He had his annual physical a couple weeks back and his numbers weren’t quite where they were supposed to be. Tomorrow he is going in for a CT scan. At this point, we haven’t talked much about it to others and are trying not to worry.

Angel already finished reading the memoir I wrote. I haven’t had the opportunity to talk to her much about it, but I think she loved it. She was happy I shared it with her and if nothing else she has a small piece of her family history. I’m not sure how she did it, but she was able to upload my book onto her Kindle to read it. It was a strange experience to see my book in that format, almost as if I was already a published author. Over the weekend, Angel finished her second half-marathon. She was going to run the full marathon but suffered from an injury earlier this year so is putting the full off until the fall. Dan was going to run the half with her but he also got injured right before the race and couldn’t run. I know she will finish her goal of running a marathon.

Alex just completed his certificates in audio recording and music production. He has been given the opportunity to play in a wildly popular local band. We’ll see where he goes with it.

Arabella has been doing well. She is on a medication regime that works for her. For the first time in her life she considers me a best friend. We have been getting along better than we have ever gotten along before. I’m trying to enjoy the good times with her while they last. It’s been a very long road to get to this point for all of us. Last week Arabella turned 21. Although the doctor said she could only have one drink, the family pulled together and made it a great day for her.

I can’t complain, things are going well and I’m enjoying having a close relationship with all of my kids. That doesn’t mean everything is perfect. I enjoyed Mother’s Day with all my kids and their significant others. It turned out to be a hot and humid day which rarely occurs so early in May. I didn’t have much of an agenda, just church in the morning, yard games in the afternoon, and going out to eat that evening at the restaurant Arabella works at. My brother Matt was sick so my mother came over without him which was nice. If Matt were there, my mom would cater to him and leave early. My mom stayed to go out to eat for supper.

I did find myself annoyed with my mom on Mother’s Day. When we asked if she would go out to eat for Arabella’s birthday, she said she wasn’t going to go because she didn’t like tomatoes. What did that have to do with anything? She ended up changing her mind later in the week and ended up going but I was irritated. We had a long wait to get a table at the restaurant and once again I found myself irritated because there wasn’t a lot of seating in the waiting area. I was annoyed that the young people weren’t offering up their seats for the elderly patrons. It’s a big pet peeve of mine.

All in all, it was a good day. Angel and Dan came to church with us. Angel made some lemon dessert bread which she has to save the recipe for. It was excellent! Paul made us a nice lunch of grilled cheese, tomato bisque soup, and salad. We played bocce ball and jenga (which I lost at twice). We enjoyed the sunny day. Angel and Dan left before supper to visit Dan’s mom. We had a great supper with Arabella as our server. Later in the evening, Paul, Alex, Lexi, Arabella, and I were going to watch a movie. Arabella said she wasn’t feeling the best and wanted to go to bed. Next thing I heard was several big splats from the other room and a call for mom. Arabella threw up all over her bed and the floor. Lexi offered to help me clean up the mess, but I refused.

That’s what being a mom (a parent) is all about, taking the good along with the bad. And hopefully when the storms come, being able to weather them.

The sun is shining now, but I know the storms are coming soon.

Fortune cookie wisdom #53

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Let’s finish this up now, someone is waiting for you on that.

I received this fortune cookie several months ago, or who knows maybe my husband did. At the time, he said it was about finishing my memoir. Well, this past week I finished it. I thought I would feel excited, but I felt rather somber about it. Instead of relishing in the success of completing my goal, I felt like I finished my life’s grand purpose. I spent years thinking about it and working on it. I had the idea in my mind since grade school.

I know it sounds melodramatic, but what will I do next? I want to keep writing. For the first time I considered writing fiction. But at this point I’m really not sure. There is still much work to do to get my book published.

I told my daughter Angel I would let her read my book. I want my husband to read it too. This past weekend my daughter loaded my book onto a flash drive. It makes me nervous to think she will start reading it soon.

My travel bucket list from 2010

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Back in 2008, Paul and I went on our first vacation after 10 years of marriage. Travelling wasn’t something we did in our childhoods. In fact, when we flew to Jamaica in 2008, it was Paul’s first time on an airplane. He was almost 40 years old. After that trip, we got the travel bug.

Some time after our first trip, I created a travel bucket list on a piece of paper written in pencil. I carried that little piece of paper in my purse for the next 15 years to remind myself of the goals I created. This is the year the list ends. I want to see how good I did on my goals.

2010: Utah We probably did go to Utah that year as the software platform we used for our business was located there and they started hosting user group meetings. We were one of the first users on the software. The first user group meeting only had about 10 to 15 people. By the time we sold our company, there were probably thousands of users. We went to Utah countless times mainly to Park City and Salt Lake City. We were able to wade in the waters of the Great Salt Lake and listen to the choir practice at the Mormon Tabernacle.

2011: Disney After the trip to Jamaica in 2008, we took the kids to Disney in 2009. We went to Disney twice after that, once with the kids and once without. In 2016, we took a family trip to Florida right before Angel graduated and visited some of the other parks.

2012: Wisconsin Dells (15th anniversary) This wasn’t a far trip to take so we’ve been there countless times.

2013: St. Lucia (Paul graduates earning his MBA). We went to St. Lucia and absolutely loved it. It’s the most beautiful place I have ever been to. I loved it so much that I recommended it to my daughter Angel and her husband who went there for their honeymoon.

2014: Mackinac Island (My 40th birthday) This is another one that isn’t too far away. It’s located in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan near the long bridge that connects upper Michigan to lower Michigan. Visiting the island is like going back in time. No cars are allowed on the island. The mode of travel is horses and bicycles. I haven’t been to the island for at least a decade. But I have been there several times and even stayed at the Grand Hotel.

2015: Mexico I haven’t visited Mexico yet.

2016: Yellowstone (Angel graduates from high school). I did check Yellowstone off my bucket list but not until many years later for our 25th anniversary. The exact day of our anniversary, we visited Old Faithful.

2017: Hawaii (20th anniversary) I just checked Hawaii off my travel bucket list this year.

2018: California (Paul’s 50th birthday) I did check this state off my bucket list. Paul and I went there for a conference and spent a couple more days afterwards site seeing. It was the first time I dipped my feet into the Pacific Ocean. We spent several days staying at a winery.

2019: Maine/Nova Scotia/Iceland (Alex graduates from high school) I checked Maine off my bucket list. Iceland is still high up on my list.

2020: New York City I checked this off my bucket list in 2012 going on a music trip through the high school with Angel and my mom. Angel sang a solo singing the song Popular from Wicked. It was one of the first times she performed a solo and I realized her talent and potential.

2021: (Arabella graduates from high school) Unfortunately this is no longer legible because it was written in pencil but I think it says Arizona. Paul and I travelled to Arizona for a conference and stayed a few extra days to visit the Grand Canyon. Or maybe it says Asia. We did go to Thailand.

2022: Europe I was supposed to go to Europe the summer of 2020 but I’m sure you can guess what happened with those plans. I am still planning on going sometime within the next year or so.

2023: Vegas I travelled to Vegas twice. The first time I went was 6 years ago with Angel for a music competition. I didn’t gamble at all. The second time I went with Paul and another couple and all we did was gamble.

2024: Alaska (My 50th birthday) I haven’t been there yet, but it is high up on my list. I checked 43 out of 50 states off my bucket list and 3 out of 7 continents. I visited the 50th state for my 50th year.

It seemed like when we first started to travel we didn’t have the extra time or money so I tried to plan trips around special occasions like milestone birthdays, anniversaries, or graduations. Now I try to travel as much as I can, at least once a year. I hope to cross off all the continents and states. Since I reached the end of time on my paper bucket list, I can retire my list. I plan on travelling for as long as I am able to.

Random thoughts on Hawaii

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  1. There is no quick and easy way to get to Hawaii. On the way, we tried to get the most direct flight possible. We flew from Chicago directly to Honolulu. It was a 9 1/2 hour flight. (We did see people before on a delayed flight we were on miss a connecting flight to Hawaii. They had to wait another full day at the airport).
  2. The original plan was that we would drive down to Chicago. Later we opted to add a flight to Chicago from our hometown. We left early enough in the morning that if for some reason we missed the flight and had to drive, we could still get there in time. (We had a snowstorm before that cancelled all flights and had to take a bus to get to the airport in Chicago).
  3. We went through a tour group and had some problems adding on the extra flight later. The tour group used our middle names to book and I didn’t so the flights did not link together. If you are going to add on later, use the exact name the tour group uses. Thankfully, we still got our luggage. But it added some confusion when we got to the airport.
  4. It took us 3 flights to get back home. We left Maui on an overnight flight. It is nearly impossible to get any sleep in an uncomfortable upright position with random babies crying. Again, going home didn’t matter as much as getting there. We were facing a 5 hour time change and expected to have jet lag.
  5. We went through Gate 1 tour company, which I’m glad we did. I think we were able to see a lot more of the highlights that way. The cost also included two flights between the islands. There really is no other way to island hop as there aren’t any ferries between the islands. I love to plan my own vacations, but I don’t think I would’ve been able to plan everything remotely as well as the tour company did.
  6. Honolulu is a large city full of skyscrapers. The city appeared to be clean but outdated. It seem old but not rundown. The residents seemed to live right on top of each other. Although this is not unusual for city life, what was unusual was seeing wild chickens running around.
  7. Hawaii is the rainbow state. I was excited to see a rainbow once we arrived. Even the license plates have rainbows on them. At home in Wisconsin, we see rainbows a couple times a year whereas they see rainbows a couple times a day.
  8. Honolulu didn’t have any billboard advertising.
  9. I love POG (passion-orange-guava) juice.
  10. Surprisingly I didn’t see a lot of fish on the menu. Most menus offered flatbread and burgers.
  11. The food prices were very high because most of their food is imported so there is a shipping fee.
  12. Why aren’t there lakes on islands?? Or at least I haven’t seen any.
  13. The landscape was very diverse. I heard you can ski on the water and snow covered mountains on the same day. Although I didn’t see any snow.
  14. Volcanos are different than I was expecting. It’s like a huge smoking crater in the ground.
  15. All the beaches are public. I was not as impressed with the beaches as I thought I would be. I think a sense of ownership would keep the beaches cleaner and keep the riffraff out (like the streaker who was rummaging through people’s belongings). All the beaches were crowded.
  16. Forget about enjoying an umbrella drink on the beach though because that was not allowed.
  17. Hawaii has legalized medical marijuana. There seemed to be quite a few sick people on the beach.
  18. Going to a luau is a great way to experience the culture.
  19. I felt a little trapped. Hawaii is in the middle of nowhere. What if a volcano blows? Or a tsunami sweeps in? Or there is another wildfire? I tried not to think about it too much, but I was a little nervous about what to do in an emergency. (This may or may not have something to do with the fire alarm going off in the middle of the first night. We got stuck in the stairwell trying to evacuate).
  20. I saw whales, mongooses, and cockroaches for the first time in the wild.
  21. I learned a lot about coffee from touring a Kona coffee plantation.
  22. I saw pineapple and papaya plants for the first time.
  23. I appreciate that Hawaii is a green state concerned about conservation and sustainability. They don’t use plastic bags and had alternatives to plastic water bottles.
  24. They sold reef safe sunscreen. I never knew that some of the chemicals in regular sunscreen could damage the reefs.
  25. The wildfires that happened last summer are still devastating the people of Maui. They have not been able to go back to their homes or land to clean up their property. There are many displaced people living in hotels, tiny communal shacks, or in tents along the beach.
  26. Hawaii has a rich history and was once ruled by kings and a queen.
  27. I was expecting to see gigantic waves with tons of surfers. I saw that in California more than in Hawaii.
  28. Hawaii is our 50th state and has only been a state for 65 years.
  29. Pearl Harbor is a must see.

Maui, Hawaii

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On Easter morning, we left Big Island and got on a 35 minute flight to Maui.

It didn’t feel like Easter. I wondered how things were going at home. Arabella was spending Easter weekend with my parents. Dan and Angel were spending the day with his parents. But as far as I knew, Alex and Lexi didn’t have anywhere to go. It’s complicated because Angel and Alex don’t want anything to do with my dad (rightfully so) and haven’t seen him in over 4 years.

Then I saw a picture of Alex and Lexi with Angel at her in-law’s house. I was overjoyed they weren’t forgotten. Angel’s mother-in-law even made little candy baskets for my kids and invited them over for their family Easter meal. It was kind of late in the trip, but I felt like everything was going to be alright at home.

It was strange travelling over Easter. The beaches were full, but were they full of locals on holiday or tourists like me? We had 20 people in our tour group when they usually have 40. We were the youngest couple in the group. Even our tour guide was in his 70’s. It was a good trip for him to get his feet wet though. Everyone got along with each other and were pleasant for his first tour.

On Easter evening, our tour group went to a luau. They had a pig roast buffet and free drinks. We watched the hula dancers perform to live music. The dancers weren’t unhealthily thin. They looked like average people. At the end we saw a fire dancer perform. I’m just shocked he didn’t burn the place down or start himself on fire. It was still incredibly windy and we were set up outside. The show was something new and interesting to experience of the Hawaiian culture.

I have to say I absolutely fell in love with Maui. In my mind I started to plan my son’s wedding so we could go back there and enjoy it once again. I know, I know…they aren’t even engaged yet.

The hotel we stayed at was right on the ocean with a sandy beach you could feast your eyes on for miles. There were mountains in the distance. The water was a clear, clean blue. The temperature was perfect. Almost everyone on the beach was a tourist staying in a chain of hotels. We spent two full days on the beach. One day we went snorkeling with sea turtles and saw tons of beautiful tropical fish. On our last day, we even saw a whale. Another first.

Again, the food was mediocre. Spam is a big thing in Hawaii, but you won’t find it on restaurant menus. In a convenience/souvenir shop, Paul found Spam sushi which was basically warm Spam on rice. I tried it and it was great. They didn’t have a lot of specialty drinks either. I did have a guava daiquiri. The flavor was good but it was more like a watery slushy instead of a refreshing cool drink. I did like the Lemongrass Luau beer, very flavorful.

One day we had lunch at the Maui Brewery. Although it was next to the beach, it was very separate from it. You couldn’t just slide in wearing beachwear. I bought a pint glass to bring home as a souvenir.

I saw some seriously disabled people at our hotel. People who had to be pushed around in wheelchairs. I thought it quite unusual until our tour guide said some of the displaced people were staying at hotels. The Maui fires really did a number on a large population of people. After the fire last August, the citizens have not been allowed to go back to their property. The clean up has been stalled and people are very upset about it. We saw encampments along the beach of displaced people living in tents. There was also a community of displaced people living in small construction type trailers so they could be close to work. I’m hoping the people who couldn’t stay in tents got first dibs on the hotel.

As we were leaving, the hotel manager gave us beaded leis and did a good-bye ceremony with us. She told us that not only did many people lose their homes, many lost their lives. She said the island was usually a cheerful place before the fires. But everyone on Maui was collectively mourning the loss of their loved ones or their homes along with everything they had in some way. She said since tourism is how they make a living, a lot of people had to go to work with a smile on their face when they were still mourning. Everything looks beautiful on the outside, but on the inside there is a lot of suffering there.

The people of Maui are strong and will get through this. They have had a tight knit sense of family and community for many generations. They have something special there from living in an isolated area geographically. It’s not as easy to pack everything up and leave.

Visiting Maui was the highlight of our trip to Hawaii.

The Big Island, Hawaii

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On Good Friday, after spending two full days in Honolulu, we took an early morning flight into Hilo on the Big Island. Hilo is located on the windward side of the island. When we arrived, it was windy and rainy. Our tour guide, who lives on this island, said it rains almost every day of the year. He, along with the other locals, collects the rainwater for use in his house.

Our big stop for the day was to visit the volcanoes. At the higher altitude the temps were cooler, in the mid 60’s. Along with the strong winds and rain, Paul and I decided to buy rain ponchos. The volcano wasn’t what I expected. It looked like a huge black smoking crater. The sky was hazy and the air smelled smoky like a campfire.

Volcano

We stopped at two places to see volcanos. The second place we stopped at was very windy and cool. We got stuck in a downpour so I didn’t take many pictures. We also stopped at the black sand beach. The beach was packed with people but it didn’t inspire me to go swimming since the water was filled with volcanic rocks.

We made a stop at a macadamia nut plantation. We were unable to take a tour, but we did sample macadamia nuts with different seasonings. We stopped for lunch at a botanical garden and took a tour of the grounds. It was peaceful and calming to see so many beautiful flowers. As we were walking, our guide showed us a large bell which people would ring with a large wooden beam for 7 years of good luck. At lunch our tour guide asked what we thought of the gardens. I said it was glorious except for one thing. No one was able to ring that bell. She asked if I wanted to ring the bell to which I responded yes. I figured I could use all the good luck I could get. So we went back and I rang the bell. It wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be. At first I didn’t use enough force to ring it, then the second time I tried I think I used too much force. After ringing the bell, she said I needed to ring the bell two more times gently for prosperity and health. The next two times I think I rang the bell too gently as it barely tapped the bell. So far I haven’t really noticed a change in my luck. Maybe it takes awhile to kick in or someone has delayed the paperwork for my request.

After spending most the day on the windward side of the island, we headed to Kona on the leeward side of the island. As Hilo gets rain, Kona gets sunshine. When we got to Kona, however, the rain had followed us over. We ended up eating supper outside in the rain. I was surprised to feel a little chilly in Hawaii.

The following morning we took a tour of a Kona coffee plantation. We participated in coffee sampling then took a tour of the grounds. I really didn’t know so much went into making coffee. What a tedious process. The plantation tour guide was absolutely amazing. I wish I could explain everything like he did. The best I can do is show you some of the pictures I took. The coffee plantation tour was the highlight of my time on The Big Island.

Coffee plants

Our tour guide told us the island has a rat problem. Many years ago, the state brought in the mongoose to control the rat population. But there was a huge problem with this plan as the mongoose is diurnal and the rats are nocturnal. Should’ve used cats. I could’ve brought some with if I knew from the cat rescue I volunteer at. We saw several mongoose at the coffee plantation. I don’t know what I was thinking, but with the name mongoose I was thinking more along the lines of Canadian goose. But the mongoose reminded me of a gopher or ferret. They seemed to be quick runners.

Coffee plant ready to harvest

At the plantation I saw several things for the first time such as a papaya plant and a pineapple bush. I was thinking pineapples grew on small trees. I really love papaya which is something we can’t find at home. The tour guide gave me a papaya to take back to the hotel. We didn’t have any utensils or plates, nor could we find any. Paul used a coffee stirrer to cut it and found it to be overripe and mushy. We left it in our room but later found a garbage to dump it in because the last thing we wanted was giant rats or tropical bugs invading our room.

A baby pineapple

The rest of the afternoon we had free time. We walked to a local market to buy souvenirs. I bought some wild looking mushroom pants made by women in the ashram. Then we spent the rest of the afternoon on the beach. Our hotel had the most amazing beach. However, when I say ‘the hotel’ I say that loosely. All beaches in Hawaii are public along with this beach. This beach was sandy because they shipped sand into the beach. Again, the swimming area was rocky from the volcano. The beach was packed with people and the water was rather cool.

Again, there weren’t any tiki bars on the beach because alcohol was not allowed on the beach. We could buy drinks but we couldn’t enjoy them in our lounge chairs. We had to sit near the restaurant. While we were sitting by the restaurant, we heard a couple people start yelling. Apparently someone was rummaging through someone’s belongings which had us worried a little as we kept most of our items on the beach. Then I saw this guy stumble along the beach followed by hotel management. From what I could tell, this guy was naked. He left quickly with only a white hotel towel wrapped around his waist with a manager walking behind him. I felt bad for the hotel managers having to police a beach that anyone can use, or should I say misuse.

Again, the food on The Big Island was average. We decided to catch supper with another couple we met on the tour. We always have fun meeting new people and getting a fresh perspective on things. As we were walking back to the hotel after supper that evening, we walked by a restaurant we were thinking of going to. People were eating on a raised patio as we were walking by. The walkway was dark and I almost stepped on something. As I looked down, dozens of huge cockroaches scattered. I cried out. Paul asked me if I almost stepped on a frog. I told him I would tell him later as I didn’t want to freak out the people eating right above the place they crawled into.

I never saw cockroaches in the wild before. It totally creeped me out. I had a hard time sleeping that night because my mind was focused on bugs. Plus, we needed to get up early the next morning to fly to our last island destination in Hawaii.

Oahu, Hawaii

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Waikiki Beach

Paul and I flew into Honolulu directly from Chicago on a nine and a half hour flight. Surprisingly, the flights were all uneventful. Over the course of our trip, we had a total of seven flights. We were meeting with our tour group at a hotel in Honolulu a block from Waikiki Beach. We arrived late on a Tuesday afternoon tired from our travels. We grabbed a quick supper, met up with our tour guide, and took a short stroll on the beach. Waikiki Beach was busy and bustling with people. Skyscrapers lined the streets along the beach. We learned that all beaches in Hawaii are public. There weren’t any places along the beach you could walk up to and grab a drink. Alcohol was not permitted on the beach.

We went to bed around 9PM that first night which was 2 AM at home. Around midnight we were awoken by the sound of alarms going off and a booming voice over the loudspeaker to evacuate the hotel. We were half asleep as we grabbed something presentable to wear and groggily left the room. We were on the 12th floor and the stairwell was packed with hotel guests. The line moved slowly. If there was a fire, we would really be in trouble. In about 20 minutes, we made it down only five flights. No one took anything with them more than a phone. After we made it down to the 7th floor, someone yelled out that the alarm was cancelled. The alarms were still going off and people were getting upset and panicking. Someone yelled down and asked by whose authority was the alarm cancelled. Some people were still trying to get out of the building while others were trying to go back up to their rooms. It wasn’t until the alarms stopped ringing and a voice said over the loudspeaker that the alarm had been cancelled did everyone slowly make their way upstairs to their rooms.

We would’ve been really screwed if there was an actual emergency. There was no way everyone would’ve been able to get out because we were on a middle floor. Not to mention no one seemed to grab their id’s, medications, or extra clothing. Being a country girl, I was feeling a little trapped on the higher floors. But I was too tired to worry much about it.

The next morning we left the hotel early to do some sightseeing on the tour bus. Our main stop for the day was Pearl Harbor. There were a lot of exhibits to see. Paul had to check everything out, but I wasn’t feeling well. At home, I felt like my medications were finally right. But flying seemed to throw everything out of whack. I wasn’t sure I was going to take the ferry ride to the memorial site, but I’m glad I did.

The atmosphere at Pearl Harbor was quite somber. The guide said we should treat the memorial site respectfully like we were at a cemetery. We were to be quiet on the ferry and not use our phones except to take pictures. Afterwards we watched a short film about Pearl Harbor. I never really understood the magnitude of the destruction until I was there to see it. And I still cannot imagine what they went through.

The memorial stood over the place in the water where the U.S.S. Arizona sunk entombing hundreds of men.

The day after the Pearl Harbor tour, we had one more full day left in Oahu which we spent on Waikiki Beach. I had imagined it would be full of surfers riding huge waves, but it wasn’t like that. There were a few surfers but nothing like the 10 foot waves I was thinking I would see. Honolulu was a huge city. Its waters were filled with sailboats and cruise ships.

Waikiki beach at night

One thing we saw right away was a rainbow. We found out that Hawaii is the rainbow state. They have a rainbow on their license plate. We don’t see rainbows that often at home, but while we were in Hawaii we saw at least one rainbow every day.

Being a large city, one thing I found odd about Honolulu was that there were chickens running around everywhere. You could see them running wild on the side of the highway. They have a rather large population of wild chickens in the city. They also have wild boar on the island, but we certainly didn’t see any roaming around the city. Surprisingly the menus in most restaurants were very limited to burgers, pizza, and pork dishes.