Thailand, Day 1

February 16, 2018 / Outrunning my demons / Leave a comment

Leaving…We left the afternoon of Super Bowl Sunday. We arrived at the airport early for a flight that would take us to Chicago for our international flight.

Our flight to Chicago got cancelled. We got 5 inches of snow overnight, not a big deal. Chicago got the snow during the day. All small flights into Chicago were cancelled.

We were several hours from the airport and our flight was cancelled. What were we going to do?? Thankfully the answer arrived in less than a half an hour in the form of a coach bus. Good thing we got to the airport really early. Otherwise we might have missed the bus altogether. I was also thankful the Packers were not in the Super Bowl this year. We probably wouldn’t have been able to find a sober bus driver in the whole state!

I dressed for warm weather but the wind chills were below zero. I couldn’t wait for the 100 degree temperature change. I think I was going to enjoy Thailand’s cold season better than ours. It wasn’t until we were on the road for an hour that we finally got some heat on the bus. I didn’t bother wearing or packing a winter jacket or pants. Because, well…Thailand.

I was afraid that I forgot something. I must’ve checked my passport a million times. It was still there. What is it about leaving that tricks your mind into thinking that something important was forgotten??

We made it to the airport in Chicago with a few hours to spare. We spent 45 minutes in line just to go through security. Then a few minutes after midnight, we entered the biggest plane I’ve ever seen and were off on our adventure.

I fell into a medicated sleep for the first 5 hours. I awoke having to use the bathroom. But the guy next to me was asleep and barely spoke any English. I held it as long as I could. Then I tapped the man beside me on the shoulder. He still didn’t wake up. It was an awkward situation.

After that I couldn’t sleep. We were in the economy section. I couldn’t justify the extra couple thousands of dollars on comfort. My body was stiff, sore, and tired. I watched 3 movies…Mother!, It, and The Bad Mom’s Christmas. All except the last movie sucked. I’ve never sat still long enough in my life to watch 3 movies in a day.

After 16 hours on the plane, we finally landed in Taiwan for a short layover. The flight was smooth and I really didn’t feel afraid. I didn’t freak out. I might have gotten over my fear of flying!

Then back on the plane again for another 4 hours…

We arrived in Thailand late Tuesday morning.

The ice shove

February 2, 2018 / Outrunning my demons / 2 Comments

As you may have guessed, running and writing are two of my favorite hobbies.

I also love photography and traveling. Unfortunately, I can’t do the last two hobbies as often as the first two. I could take pictures of everyday mundane life and selfies galore. But that bores me. So why wouldn’t it bore you??

I didn’t have to travel far to get a few pictures of the ice shove on the bay of Lake Michigan in Wisconsin. Even local friends asked where I was off to this time…Alaska? Antarctica?? No, just my beautiful home state.

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You really should consider booking a visit. Summer is the best time. But as you can see, winter is beautiful here too. Today the wind chills are only in the single digits below zero. So it is warming up out there!

The ice shove is 20 feet high. This is the biggest ice shove I’ve seen in my lifetime. It took some really nasty weather conditions to make this. Thankfully the beauty that resulted lasted longer than the storm. Kind of like real life sometimes…

Taking the long way home

January 7, 2018 / Outrunning my demons / 1 Comment

Last night Angel and I got back home from the Lana Del Rey concert. We ended up taking the long way home…

We headed out to Minneapolis early Friday afternoon and got to our downtown Minneapolis hotel by late afternoon. It was still cold outside with wind chills below zero. Even though we were only a couple blocks away, I was concerned about walking outside on a cold frigid night.

The hotel had an indoor walkway that we could walk to the concert in, but it closed at 8 PM. Although we had a map, we got turned around several times in the walkway. There weren’t as many signs as we thought there would be. Someone stopped us and gave us the wrong directions. We met up with another couple that was just as lost as we were. The girl was wearing a mini skirt and a jean jacket. I told her that she would have to walk back outside on the way back.

Surprisingly, despite getting lost, we made it to the concert a little early which gave us time to go through security, find the bathroom, and get a drink before the show. I spent $15 on a 4 oz old-fashioned that tasted like utter crap. I watered it down with Angel’s soda but it was still undrinkable. Gross!

Angel’s friend was going to meet us there and sit by us, but she came down with the stomach flu. The show itself was phenomenal. It was the biggest concert I ever went to. Before that the biggest concert I was at was back in the early 90’s seeing Reo Speedwagon at the county fair. This was Lana’s first concert of her new tour, so being the first show and being an inexperienced concert goer, I really didn’t know what to expect.

I was thinking about bringing ear plugs, but Angel said that would make me look way too old. I was already instructed not to look like a mother. Some of the young girls barely wore any clothes which concerned the mother within me a whole lot on such a cold night. There were a few other middle aged concert goers. Most were in their early twenties. The whole row behind us seemed to be in their early 20’s and were all smoking pot. The young couple next to me was making out the whole time. Seriously, I could have used a better drink.

Afterwards, I was satisfied that my ears did not ring. The acoustics were great. Lana played a lot of songs that we knew and she had a great performance. We walked back to the hotel in the cold. I had a hard time pulling up the hotel on my phone’s map. I was a little afraid that we would walk around the city in circles until we froze to death. Although my daughter is an adult, I felt responsible for her safety. We were very cold, but we were able to find our way back before we froze to death.

The next day we had lunch plans with an old college friend that lives near the city. She hadn’t seen my daughter since she was a toddler. It has been over 8 years since we last saw each other. We had a really nice visit, but had a long drive home.

I fell asleep on the way home which hardly ever happens. In my defense, I can’t remember the last time I slept through the night and felt rested. I was the only one that knew how to get home and since I was sleeping, we missed the exit. I woke up to different scenery. We drove a few more miles before I had the nagging suspicion that something wasn’t right. Sure enough, my little siesta cost us an extra hour of driving.

What good is knowing the way if I couldn’t show the way to go?? Seems like another whole philosophical blog topic, but I am much too tired to form a thought. I would like to think that we circumvented a crash on the interstate. But the truth is that I am getting old and tired..I fell asleep and wasn’t paying attention.

However,the long way home was a more scenic route with its rolling hills, cranberry bogs, marshes, reeds, and woods. I wanted to stop several times to take pictures, but I also wanted to get home and felt bad for making our trip a lot longer than necessary. So I snapped a few pictures when we stopped for a stop sign.

Angel and I did a lot of talking on our long trip home. It was nice having some uninterrupted time to visit. Next weekend she will be leaving to go back to college. It will probably be a couple more months until we see each other again. Despite taking the long way home, we had a lot of fun together..

A glance back to look ahead

December 30, 2017 / Outrunning my demons / Leave a comment

I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions. Instead I believe that every day we should strive to take steps to further our goals. I have a long bucket list and I hope you do too.

I am not looking forward to going to the gym on January 1st. I will probably have to forfeit ‘my‘ parking space in the third spot of the second row. Locker 16 will probably be full. The treadmill closest to the window on the left side will be taken and I will have to wait in line on a Saturday morning for one of the 50 machines like I did last January. The shower in the far left corner will belong to some other naked body.

Anyway, I am not here today to complain about other people’s resolutions…really, I am not. If you want to get healthy and go to the gym for 3 weeks..fine..I will cope.

This is a perfect time of year to reflect on 2017’s winding journey.

I was able to do a lot of traveling this year. We took a trip to Chicago to see the musical Hamilton. We went to Detroit where I ate Greek food for the first time. Opa! We visited Belle Isle. We went to Utah and dipped our feet in the Great Salt Lake. We listened to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir sing. We took a trip to Walt Disney World without the kids. We sailed for a week to Washington Island. On our 20th anniversary, Paul and I renewed our vows on Rock Island.

We watched our daughter Angel take a lead in her first opera. We watched our son get a perfect score at state for music. All of our kids went to state this year for their theatrical/music performances. I took the community theater stage along with Arabella and Paul to perform in the musical Annie.

But the year was not all roses. There were a few thorns. This year we lost our first parent. Paul’s mother passed away in February after a long courageous battle with cancer. A few weeks later, I lost my last ‘great’ making my parents the oldest living generation. Time is precious in its ticking away.

My daughter Angel broke up with her boyfriend Mitch after 3 1/2 years. My son Alex broke up with his girlfriend Baylee after 1 1/2 years. I thought that they might be ‘the one’. But things didn’t work out that way..

I look on accomplishments of this past year. I did my first trail race (18 miles). I finished my 3rd marathon with a PR. I finished my first Olympic triathlon and my first Half Ironman. I want to add that I never was satisfied with my accomplishments..I never celebrated them until I finished my first Half Ironman. It was the greatest moment of accomplishment that I ever experienced in my life and I am happy that for once I allowed myself to feel the joy from the fruits of my labor.

I just signed up for my first trail marathon next summer on my birthday with my cousin. I will be spending the weekend sleeping in a tent. It will be a pretty hard core birthday celebration. I am thinking about getting a tattoo.

It has been a great year as small business owners. Paul and I received a special certification and hired two new employees.

I know this next year will hold some big and exciting changes…but until then, I want to take some time to glance back before looking ahead.

This year we laughed…

This year we cried…

This year we lived life to its fullest.

Inoculation

November 1, 2017 / Outrunning my demons / Leave a comment

Today I got inoculated. I like the word inoculation, it sounds so much better than shots, immunizations, or vaccinations. I just don’t like the action.

Since Paul and I are going to Thailand in a few months, we decided to book an appointment with the travel nurse. I only ended up getting 2 shots, Hepatitis A and the flu shot. What happens if you have to sit next to someone for 20 hours on a plane that has the flu? A ruined vacation..

We got a prescription for typhoid pills that we can’t take with alcohol…so no drinking for 10 days. I’m already going to use that as an excuse to not attend a party that I really don’t want to go to.

The Wisconsin immunization registry pretty much pulled up a blank on us. It registered our Tetanus shots from 2012, that’s all.

We both had chicken pox. My mom said I got it really bad in 4th grade. I had chicken pox in my mouth. My eyes swelled shut. I still have a few scars. I think that Paul even had a small pox shot.

I don’t think I had my last MMR shot. There was that couple years that I didn’t attend school. I vaguely remember needing to have a booster and telling my mom I didn’t want it, so I didn’t get it. That is how I remember it, but I’ll admit my memory of my high school years is a bit hazy now.

My mom suspected that the MMR shot caused my brother’s autism back then. Of course, that is not saying much. She questioned every little thing she did and didn’t do back then.

I have always been on the fence about shots myself. This is the first time I’ve ever had a flu shot. I don’t like taking medicine. I wanted a totally natural childbirth. To tell you the truth though, if it was as natural as I wanted it to be, I probably would’ve died. I hate taking medicine unless it is absolutely necessary.

The whole vaccination autism scare came out in full force when my oldest child was born. What was I to do? What if it did cause my brother’s autism?? What information do I trust?? Do I trust the huge pharmaceutical companies?? Do I trust the doctors that are supposedly getting big kickbacks from the drug companies for pushing vaccinations??

What do I do when it affects my family??

To tell you the truth, I really don’t have an opinion whether or not vaccinations cause autism. It didn’t even matter to me. What mattered was that if there was even an iota of a chance, I felt that it would be prudent to be cautious. My children received all of their necessary vaccinations, but on my timeline.

Some people looked down on me for the decision I made.

Did I know that I was hurting my children??

Did you know what it was like living day to day with a violently autistic brother?? Did you see how this tormented our family?? No, because I never bothered to tell you…

It was the late 90’s and early 2000’s…we didn’t know. We still don’t know. I didn’t want anything happening to my children. I didn’t want them to get autism. I didn’t want them to get measles.

I think that I made the best decision with the information I had available to me. I am still hesitant to trust other people when they try to tell me what is best for my children.

All these thoughts whirled through my head as I was nervously waiting to be inoculated…

drive

October 9, 2017 / Outrunning my demons / Leave a comment

I had a busy weekend.

Paul and I left home early Saturday morning to set up a booth at a trade show. After a couple hours of working, we drove a couple more hours to see Angel at college. We arrived to see her a couple hours before her show. We haven’t seen her since we dropped her off at college in August.

There were some repercussions of leaving home earlier than the kids. Thankfully this time though it did not require a new bathroom floor. It was more along the lines of them thinking that they could both take a shower when it was time to leave to meet up with my mom. They were late and there was tension. Not to mention that things were forgotten.

Thankfully everything else went according to my plan. We were able to get at the restaurant early enough to get a table for 14 people and make it to the show on time. Angel had a lead role in the college opera and would be on stage for the first half hour only. If things went off rail, we could miss her part entirely. Several friends and family drove several hours to get there, got a hotel room, and some had to get a babysitter. Needless to say, a few minutes off on my time management could’ve been a huge disaster.

The show was awesome. Watching your child perform at a high level is very close to performing yourself. It is anxiety provoking, yet exhilarating. I was able to visit with Angel the next morning before she had to perform again. Then came the long ride home.

At 10AM, I dropped Paul off at the local airport. He had a business meeting. Instead of driving the 4 hours home and flying out, I decided it would be quicker for him to fly out where we were. Just 2 connecting flights and 10 hours later, he reached his destination.

I had to make the drive back with Arabella. I almost had a panic attack after I dropped Paul off at the airport before visiting Angel. It was a unseasonably warm and sunny day. Pedestrians and bikers were everywhere. Not to mention road construction and heavy traffic. I kept getting notifications on my phone for the flight which covered my navigation. I think I went through a red light since I was so flustered.

If you told me 5 years ago that I would be driving 4 hours without another driver in my car, I would’ve told you that you are crazy. I used to have panic attacks while driving. It would happen out of the blue. First, I would sweat profusely. I had to open my windows, even in the middle of winter. I couldn’t breath. I needed air, fresh air. Then the tunnel vision would hit. I would have to slow down. I’m sure that I swerved around a lot. I thought I would die or worse yet kill someone else on the road. I had to pull over at the first exit. My whole body would shake.

It was a horrifying experience. But I would not let fear control me. I forced myself to go back on the highway. Even if it was from one on ramp to the next off ramp. It was grueling and tedious. I wasn’t sure if I could even conquer my fear. But I had to put myself out there again and again or I wouldn’t be able to leave the house unless someone else would drive me. I felt feelings of failure when I could only drive a couple of miles from my house without panicking. But I kept at it and now I can say that I am almost completely able to drive without panic attacks.

I am also one of those annoying people that can’t seem to sit still. If I sit down without anything to occupy my mind, I will probably fall asleep. If the movie is not great, I fall asleep and I fall asleep sometimes even if it is.

Did I mention that I didn’t sleep that great in the hotel room?

I have fallen asleep while driving before. After about 2 hours on the road, I was starting to drift off. I knew this was happening because a stationary object bounced out into my vision. I think it was a garage. This has happened before when I was really tired.

Typically when Paul is tired, he can pull over for a cup of coffee. He instantly is energized and can drive for hours. It doesn’t work for me. Extra coffee makes me jittery and anxious while driving…more likely to have a panic attack.

I looked over at my passenger, Arabella, who was sound asleep. Did I want to wake her? Then I remembered our conversations in the car over this past week week…Mom, how old were you when you first had sex?? Were you in high school? College?? The interrogation went something like that…Ah, better just let her sleep.

I pulled it together and got us home safely. I knew I had no other choice. It was a great weekend, but long….very long, especially the drive.

Hollywood Studios

September 30, 2017September 30, 2017 / Outrunning my demons / Leave a comment

I’m going to be totally honest with you. Hollywood Studios is my least favorite Disney park. It has some pretty intense thrill rides…The Tower of Terror which is a dropping elevator ride…and the Rock N’ Roller Coaster which is super fast. You couldn’t pay me a million dollars to go on either ride.

My husband Paul took our youngest two children on most of the thrill rides at Disney. I felt bad that this time without the children he had no one to go on some of these rides with. He said he really wasn’t into it though and wanted to see the things the kids wouldn’t be interested in.

There is one ride that I do like in the park…I like the Toy Story ride which is a target hitting ride. I guess I am not a good aim since I can never beat my husband.

We also went on the Star Wars 3D ride and weren’t very impressed. For awhile Paul didn’t think his 3D glasses were working. There was also a live Star Wars show which was kind of cool even though I don’t get into Star Wars. I can’t make it through a Star Wars movie without falling asleep. Unfortunately, I have the same issue with The Lord of the Rings series. I’ve heard many tell me that these are the greatest movies ever made..I’m not sure about that since I never made it through one without sleeping…but I think I just found a cure for my occasional insomnia.

There are some other neat shows there like the stunt show and the Muppets 3D show. There are tons of shows and live performances if you get into that.

My favorite restaurant there is the Sci-Fi Drive In Theater. It is like the old time drive in theater. You are seated in antique cars and the servers come out on roller skates. There is an old black and white sci-fi movie playing on a continuous loop on the big screen. This restaurant offers American fare and you can get a pretty good milkshake.

The funniest thing happened at HS this time. My husband got carded. He was rather upset because he didn’t have his ID on him. This past week he turned 49. I had to buy the guy a beer.

During our stay at Disney, we bought a Hopper pass which allowed us to go to more than one park a day. We didn’t use it once…so it was a waste of money. We were at Disney a total of 3 whole days and spent the last half day at HS. I think it would take awhile to get from one park to another. It is almost more economical money and time wise to not spend the extra money on the Hopper pass. I would spend the money instead on a t-shirt or other souvenir…or maybe save it for another trip..

We had a great visit and hope to be back there again someday soon…

Magic Kingdom

September 29, 2017 / Outrunning my demons / 5 Comments

My favorite Disney park for rides is Magic Kingdom. To be honest, I am not a huge fan of roller coasters. I am a wimp! I did go on Space Mountain a few times years ago. Space Mountain is my limit for scary. The problem is sometimes the only way to see if you will like a ride is to ride it. It sure makes me feel a little braver when I see preschoolers next to me in line.

My favorite ride is Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. We were able to get 2 fast passes for the ride which made me so happy. Then we were able to get on again right before the park closed for the night. I would say it is a moderate roller coaster, just the way I like it…it has small drops and doesn’t go upside down. The scariest time was when the ride momentarily stopped unexpectedly. I was afraid that the other ‘train’ might hit us, but it didn’t despite my fear.

When we stayed at Disney this time, we were given bracelets that allowed us to get into our room and into the parks. We could make purchases with our bracelets which allowed us to travel very light. We downloaded the Disney app to manage our meal reservations, get fast passes, and see the wait times for rides. Technology has really improved since we last visited a few years back. Of course, this also allows Disney to track you and send you surveys regarding the parks you visited. After we went on a ride, we even saw our names displayed which was a bit on the creepy side for me.

MK is also a great place for unusual attractions. We went on the Carousel of Progress which took us on a trip through several decades viewing how people lived in different time periods. We went on the small world ride which displayed hundreds of dolls. We went to a bird show in the Tiki room. We saw a live performance of the Pirates of the Caribbean and went on the ride which was scary enough to be fun.

When you are there, you can’t miss the Monsters Inc. Comedy Show. It is hilarious regardless of age. The only ride I didn’t like was the Lilo and Stitch ride.

Also good to know, MK is a dry park. That evening we went to Narcoossee’s a fancy restaurant at the Grand Floridian resort. It takes two meals per person on the meal plan. Paul and I both enjoyed lobster. I got to drink a local Orlando beer out of a Mickey Mouse straw. Then we took the monorail back to MK for the fireworks show. It is cool to experience riding the monorail at least once.

The fireworks and light show at the castle is a must see. I tried to take some pictures with my phone but only ended up capturing hundreds of other people taking pictures of the same event with theirs.

After the fireworks, the park remained open until 11 PM. We were able to go on a lot more rides since the park emptied out a little after the fireworks. Unfortunately, the wait time for the new Seven Dwarfs ride was too long and no fast passes were available…we will save that one for next time.

This is also the park that parents spend hundreds of dollars dressing their girls up as princesses for. You can see lots of little girls in fancy dresses with curled and glittered hair. You might even see the adult version walking around as well. There are many characters at this park.

It truly is a magical place and a must see with small children.

Epcot

September 27, 2017September 27, 2017 / Outrunning my demons / Leave a comment

Things have been getting a little heavy lately…so I wanted to share about our trip to Disney before I forget all about it.

I forgot my journal at home along with the luggage tags.

The first day at Disney we spent in our clothes that we wore to the airport and slept in.

Note to self, pack an extra set of clothes on the carry on bag in case of lost luggage.

It was hot in Florida. Of course, we happen to be wearing black. We were soaked in sweat left without deodorant, a tooth brush, or a hair brush. Surprisingly, I am posting the pictures anyway. Good thing we don’t have the technology to capture scent online yet.

Anyway Epcot…I would have to say this is my favorite WDW park. We had the ability to sample beer from around the world. One of my favorites was the pomegranate beer. It was very light and flavorful.

For a short period of time, we felt like we traveled around the world. We also went on the ride Soaring and went on one of my favorite rides through a greenhouse that focused on agriculture and sustainability. I find it interesting despite my black thumb.

That evening we ate at the restaurant Marrakesh that featured Moroccan food. The food was phenomenal. A belly dancer entertained us during the meal. When we travel, we try to experience as much ethnic food as possible.

There is not a lot of cultural diversity in small town Wisconsin. There is more now than when I was a kid. My graduating class had one Asian kid…all the rest of the kids at school were white…they looked, talked, and shared similar beliefs to me. We were never exposed to different cultures that I find so fascinating, especially in the days before the internet. We didn’t travel to exotic places besides the local library.

In small WI towns, there are not a lot of jobs available…so a lot of people don’t move in. Most of our people don’t move out of the state either…if they do, it usually is to a surrounding Midwestern state. I haven’t moved more than a few miles away from the ground my ancestors tread a hundred years ago.

Beside Mexican and Italian restaurants, most other ethnic restaurants don’t thrive in this area. Epcot gave us the chance to talk to people from around the world and try foods that we are not accustomed to.

That evening in Epcot, a thunderstorm came through. It down poured for about 20 minutes. The storms went through in time for the fireworks display which was awesome.

Animal Kingdom’s peculiar animals

September 16, 2017 / Outrunning my demons / Leave a comment

…the herd is taken over by a younger male gorilla…the older male loses his family and remains alone…the staff member says as she waves her hand towards an older gorilla that we are gazing at.

Two little boys (~6) slide in next to me by the gorilla display.

Boy 1: That gorilla doesn’t look very happy.

Boy 2: That is because he is an adult. All adults look sad.

Boy 1: I think he is a female.

Boy 2 turns to me and asks…Hey lady, is he a female? What do you think?

I turn to the boys with a smile masking an inward chuckle. I tell them that the gorilla is an old male. Look at his white fur. He is simply old and tired.

The boys, satisfied with my answer, thank me and walk away.

The old gorilla looks my way. I bet he thinks how peculiar the humans are that parade by on display.