- I’m grateful to catch a break with a trip to the Caribbean.
- While we were gone, it snowed two feet. We were able to get out and go cross-country skiing for the first time this season.
- My brother Luke and his family spent the weekend at our house. We watched his daughter compete in a swim meet.
- Yesterday we went out to eat for Paul’s step-dad’s 70th birthday. It went a lot better than I expected it would.
- Arabella’s face is healed and she went in for her court assessment today.
- Paul and I had a good meeting with our couples therapist this morning.
- We were able to see Angel and her husband every day over the weekend.
travel
Gratitude week 165
- We made it out before the big storm came.
- I checked the continent of South America off my bucket list.
- Nobody died while we were gone.
- It was refreshing to visit the Caribbean and sit on the beach for a few days.
- I’m grateful that February is gone and winter is almost over.
- It’s good to be back home and sleep in my own bed.
Gratitude week 164
- My husband and I had a nice Valentine’s Day at home eating crab legs and playing cards.
- The following night my husband and I went to a Valentine’s party at a restaurant through our church where we met some new people and went out afterwards with new friends we do volunteer work with.
- I took some time this week to get my hair cut and nails done. It’s been over a year since I’ve had my hair cut.
- I went over to Angel’s house and she made me supper a chicken artichoke dish that was excellent.
- Since my husband couldn’t be at the trade show, I went with our employee James. I don’t think I could’ve done it alone. Plus every night we went out after the show for food and/or drinks. I ran in to some friends which was nice.
- My daughter and her boyfriend, well ex-boyfriend now, got the charges against them dropped. I feel like they will be safe for now and if they are not they have other people they can call while we are gone. We talked about a safety plan going forward.
- Tonight starts a major snow storm in our area. The meteorologist said this will be the biggest storm in the last 4 years. The storm spans the whole state of Wisconsin all the way down to Chicago where we are flying out from. The airline allowed us to move up our flights. Even with moving up our flights, it’s really iffy if we are going to be able to fly out on schedule.
- I’m grateful to be able to leave earlier and not be constrained by work and kid schedules.
- By next week’s gratitude I will (hopefully) have another country and continent checked off my bucket list.
- I have been downright physically and emotionally exhausted. I feel really tired, stressed, and run down. I’m hoping this trip will allow us to recharge our batteries.
- I’m grateful for the great team we have around us. My husband and I each have our own separate counselors and our couples counselor. We have a wonderful small group of friends and family who have our back so even though things might not go smoothly while we are gone everything should be okay. We have done everything we can do. Now it’s time for us to take a break.
Yurt not trusting me
This weekend we had plans with friends to stay at a yurt. It seemed like a great idea after a few drinks while talking with Tom and Lisa at our daughter’s wedding. It still seemed like a good idea when Lisa booked the trip in February the next day.
The yurt is located in the middle of nowhere in some state park in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. It was going to take a couple hours to drive there. Apparently it does not have electricity nor does it have running water. Winter camping at its finest with a vault toilet nearby. The only amenities are a couple bunk beds, a table, and a wood stove with wood to keep a fire going so nobody freezes to death.
Freezing to death…it’s been a cold week here in Wisconsin. I’ve heard of several reports of people freezing to death within this past week. Will, without a car, was still planning on riding his bike to work. Not only is it cold, it is icy because salt doesn’t melt ice well when it’s 20 below. I don’t think I could live with myself if I saw a picture of him dead on the morning news. So I let my daughter borrow my car so he would have a way to work.
I gave my friend Lisa a call this week to plan the trip to the yurt. Lisa said their snowmobile wasn’t working. They ordered parts they thought might fix it which were supposed to show up on Tuesday but didn’t arrive until Wednesday. To get to the yurt, we would need to hike almost 5 miles on a snow covered path or breeze in on a snowmobile.
I reminded myself of the not so fond memory of the last time I ‘ran’ 5 miles over a year ago. It was the last race I ever did. I almost didn’t finish. Not too long before that, I finished my first 50k. Yes, a 50k! It was at that point I knew something was wrong. I ran about half the race then I had this horrible pain in my ankle where I could barely walk. I found out later that under exertion I have a bone spur which hits a nerve. At times I can barely walk and the next minute it’s fine. I also had a terrible backache.
Back in the day, Lisa and I used to run together. That was before her daughter died, before she moved away. Those days were some of the best times in my life. We trained together. She was a better runner than me but she kept me on my toes. Between the two of us, we could place in almost every small town race. I typically placed in the top 10% of my age group in 10k’s and half-marathons. I was finally able to achieve at a sport after always being picked last as a kid for teams in gym class. I even had to do extra credit in middle school to pass gym class. Turns out I was better at writing book reports than doing any kind of sport. But running I guess you could say I ran with it.
Now my daughter Angel is training for her first half-marathon. At times I see her hard on herself if she has a bad run. I too was very hard on myself on bad running days. Recently I told her that even a bad run, she is still able to run. What I wouldn’t give now for a bad run. These are things you can say once it’s gone. But it is truly not gone because I am able to enjoy the process through her.
The part for the snowmobile came in and it didn’t fix the problem. Today Tom bought a new battery and it still didn’t work. Now they are thinking the starter on the snowmobile needs fixing and they will need to take it in somewhere to be fixed.
Today I made the decision to not go to the yurt if the snowmobile wasn’t working. The high for tomorrow is 3 with lows below zero. Maybe I would’ve gone if I didn’t have to walk 5 miles through the snow in subzero temperatures with all our gear and try to get there before dark. A couple years ago nothing would’ve stopped me. But now I can’t even trust myself anymore. With spotty phone coverage, who knows? I might end up on the news and not in a good way. Although I’m a planner, I haven’t given too much thought to my funeral yet.
I feel bad for wimping out. But I also know my limitations. All the self-discipline in the world won’t change a thing when my body doesn’t listen to my mind anymore. Looks like I’ll have some time to take Arabella car shopping after all.
Gratitude week 161
- We met up with our best friends and new friends to plan a road trip to Traverse City, Michigan this spring. We ate supper together, played a game, and laughed a lot. It was a fun evening.
- Angel’s mole that was removed is benign.
- Angel just signed up for her first half-marathon. It’s pretty cool she is following in my footsteps.
- Volunteer time, it feels good to be able to help other people.
- Couples therapy, I think we are making a lot of headway.
- We hosted a planning committee for the summer sailing season.
- I did a lot of planning this week for work and for fun. I could literally sit and plan for hours and enjoy it.
- I’m grateful my son is spending his time when he works limited hours to work on the garage apartment remodeling project. There are two unfinished rooms upstairs. One that is very small which he wants to use as a recording studio. His buddies and him are putting up the wall and put in a door. Then there is a very large room which they are planning on making into a living room that they are drywalling.
- This seems to be a relative period of harmony where everyone is working together. I’m going to enjoy it while it lasts.
- I was able to spend time with my kids this week and that is always a good thing.
- Paul, Dan, and Alex are working on my son’s car today as some parts came in. It is bitterly cold outside so the car wouldn’t start. It looks like my husband finally got it started.
- Fires in our fireplace on cold winter evenings.
2022 recap
It’s hard to believe in a couple days we will be kissing 2022 good-bye. It’s been an interesting year with a lot of changes. I’ll highlight the highs and lows of the year.
Let’s get the bad stuff out of the way first. In January of this year, we had to put down our 14 year old Beagle. We had him since he was a puppy. It was hard to let him go, but I feel good we were able to provide him with a loving home the time he was with us.
This year I was diagnosed with arthritis. This was the first year in over a decade that I didn’t log any running miles or do any races. This has been a huge change for me and at times hard for me to accept.
This year I travelled within the United States. Here is the list of areas I visited:
- Nevada
- Michigan
- Illinois
- Idaho
- Montana
- Wyoming
- Washington D.C.
- Maryland
- Delaware
I crossed 4 out of 9 off my bucket list.
My husband and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary in Yellowstone by Old Faithful. It’s hard to believe we have been married 25 years already and I’ve known my husband half of his life. It’s something worth celebrating.
Our daughter got married this year to a wonderful guy. They bought their first house, have great jobs, and are 100% independent. What a blessing they have been to each other and us.
We tackled some big remodeling projects.
We joined a new church.
This is the first full year ALL of our children are adults and are living their own lives which has many ups and downs. I’ve had to learn to let go of a lot of things and no one is ever totally ready for that.
That’s about all I can think of right now.
What are my plans for 2023? I don’t do resolutions. I want to think I try to be the best person I can be every day. I don’t have any big goals. I want to continue to help others. I want to continue to work on my issues for a stronger marriage and a healthier me. I want to continue travelling and plan on crossing South America off my bucket list in February. Other than that, the rest is just life which I will be writing about as it unfolds.
Happy New Year!!
Gratitude week 152
- Thanksgiving; a time to count blessings.
- A visit to my massage therapist.
- Dan needing to get gas and missing a fatal car accident.
- Black Friday deals.
- Volunteering with my daughter sorting kids clothing.
- Devilled eggs and pumpkin pie.
- Clean sheets.
- Getting a good deal and planning a trip to the Caribbean this winter. We are going to an island in South America so I will be able to cross the continent of South America off my bucket list.
- I found an affordable futon couch to decorate my office with and will still be able to use my office as a bedroom if needed.
- I found the perfect Christmas trees this year. I got a traditional tree and found the white colored tree I was looking for. This is my second favorite time of year. This year Angel, Alex, and Lexi joined Paul and I picking out the trees and decorating. We finished the evening by watching my favorite Christmas movie, the National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.
This uncertainty, part 4
Usually I have my whole life planned out. Well, maybe not that extreme but you get the point. I thought I would be one of the few marathon runners that would run into their 70’s. That didn’t happen. Sometimes I still dream of running. I hate exercising now. I told the doctor all I really wanted to be able to do is run again. She chuckled at this and told me if I did she would be replacing both my knees in the next two years. It’s been a whole year since I ran and this year my husband and daughter will be doing the last race I did without me. I am happy for them and don’t want them not to do it because I can’t. I just never expected my life to be this way.
I thought I would be checking Europe off my bucket list in the summer of 2020. You all know what happened with those plans. Who would have guessed? When I plan things I pretty much plan on it happening. But I also learned life doesn’t always work out the way we plan.
Usually by this time I have next year all planned out as far as travel goes. This year I have no idea what I want to do. Right now I’ve set aside several dates on the calendar for going on a trip. That’s about it. My husband and I are thinking of trying last minute deals with these dates. My only rule is that I want to go somewhere I haven’t already been. The problem with this plan is that we aren’t spontaneous people. Even if we have absolutely nothing going on, we both plan our days. We are by nature extreme planners. We like our structure and lists. On Mondays and Thursdays I wash towels. We are going to try this but we might not like it.
Typically I would get some input from my husband about where he wants to go and I would plan everything. Checking off all 50 states and all continents is huge on my bucket list, but my husband does not have these constraints. These are higher priority trips for me. Now my husband is getting involved in finding the deals. Since at heart he is a finance guy, he spent hours creating a financial calculator down to the penny to analyze which is the best deal. I could care less about that but I am concerned I will find something and it will be gone before he can decide what the better deal is. Then who is in charge of the planning. It has always been me and it’s something I really enjoy. I have a systematic way of doing things. Hopefully this is not going to create conflict. Now I think all this spontaneity might not work. Part of the fun is doing all the research and planning the details.
There is also some uncertainty about the next step in our business. There is uncertainty regarding the economy. In my mind there is still some uncertainty around COVID. This year we had to cancel a trip because of it. If anything I am getting better living with uncertainty, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. I’m not one of those we’ll see how everything pans out kind of person.
The bug
Most nights after we were done with the conference for the evening, we would go back to our room and doze off to Halloween specials or old movie series. This particular night, the Jaws series was on. I never watched the series as a kid because I was pretty young when it came out. Paul remembers going to the movie theater to watch Jaws with his mom as a kid. He said it was pretty scary. It’s amazing how time changes perspective and what was once scary is not scary anymore at all.
It was after midnight and I had just fallen asleep when Paul woke up freaking out because he felt a bug on his leg. He tore apart the bed looking for the bug thinking our hotel room had a bedbug infestation. I admit, we both are fearful of bedbugs when traveling. I saw a beetle flying around the room earlier so I still half asleep was not convinced of a problem.
Paul found the bug and tried to identify what it was. He decided to download a bug identifier app. They advertised that the first bug was free. He took a picture of the bug and the app said it was a bedbug. This amped up Paul’s anxiety and he was ready to pack up all our belongings and see if we could get another room. I told him it didn’t look like a bedbug and that I thought I saw the same kind of bug at home. He decided maybe he didn’t get a good enough picture, so he took another photo on the bug identifier app.
This time the bug identifier app said it would cost $3.99 per month for a minimum of 12 months. No way! What a scam. Because I saw a similar bug at home, I was able to find out what kind of bug it was on my phone. It was not a bedbug. Crisis diverted.
I told the story to a new friend I met at the conference after she told me a similar story. She said next time all I needed to do was download the google app and take a picture of whatever I wanted to identify. I had no idea I could do that. After she showed me how it worked, I downloaded the app. When we were at the state park in Delaware I saw an interesting small cactus type plant. Cactus in Delaware? I took a picture of it with my google app and it said the plant was an Eastern Prickly Pear.
Something good came out of the bug experience and for now we managed to once again evade a bedbug invasion.
Delaware
Delaware is my 42nd state I’ve crossed off my bucket list and we had two full days to spend there. I’m a small town girl and wanted to visit somewhere off the beaten path. So I choose a small bed and breakfast in the town of Milton. Not a lot different from rural Wisconsin. The first evening we walked from the B&B to an Irish pub for supper. I have to say I was very happy with the food and service everywhere we went in Delaware.
Let’s get the negatives out of the way first. Traffic. I will never complain about traffic at home again after visiting out East. Oh my gosh! We must have sat forever at a yield sign before merging onto a busy highway. The lady in the car behind us was gesturing at us emphatically. I guess we were supposed to just go and hopefully someone would let us merge. Thankfully our rental car had Florida plates. Traffic was terrible. The other thing I was not impressed with was the live music I heard.
The bed and breakfast was a charming place built in I believe it was 1810 and a governor once lived there. The house is on a historical registry. I’ve never stayed in a B&B that was so old and as always kept a lookout for ghosts. But the innkeepers said the flickering lights had more to do with a hot water heater than anything else.
Our first day, Paul and I decided to hit up Bally’s Casino in Dover. I hate to admit it, but we had a great time losing our money. The casino was large and opulent with many choices. I liked that it was non-smoking although they did offer a separate room for the smoking section. We ate lunch at the casino and again the food was great. They had specialty drinks. I ordered a root beer float mixed drink which could be really dangerous.
That evening we walked to the Dogfish Head Brewery. We were hoping to get a tour but we arrived just after the last tour of the day left. I got a beer flight. We sat outside and enjoyed the nice weather. There were a lot of families playing outdoor games and people with dogs. I bought a t-shirt and a pint glass to remind me of our trip.
Our last full day we heard it was snowing at home and decided to soak up some sun at the beach. We decided to go to Cape Henlopen State Park. The water temperature was supposed to be the warmest at the cape at a balmy 69 degrees which was pretty close to the air temperature. At the point was where Delaware Bay meets the Atlantic Ocean. At first we walked along the bay. We had the beach to ourselves but the water was very cold. We decided to walk to lunch at Big Oyster Brewery from there which ended up being a long walk. Afterwards we took an Uber back to the cape.
At the cape, we got on our swimming suits and headed to the beach. We ended up walking around the whole cape which was rather massive. People were not swimming and sunbathing there as I imagined. Instead, people were driving on the beach with Jeeps that had a cart on the front full of fishing poles standing straight up. We saw them let air out of their tires to drive on the beach, then fill them up again once they left. No one was walking or frolicking in the water. It was way too cold for that. They were fishing. This plan of mine was an epic fail.
It was really windy and cool on the beach. People had little tents set up to block the wind. They were wearing pants, sweaters, and/or jackets. Meanwhile we were the crazy Midwesterners in swimming suits laying on beach towels getting pelted with sand. It was really quite miserable. We didn’t end up staying that long. It was a long walk back with no bathrooms in sight. It was not what I had in mind. I think we would have been fine if we stayed at the Delaware Bay beach, but we didn’t know. It was the middle of October and I guess I was expecting it not to be. I think we seriously need a beach vacation.
That evening when we got back we went out for seafood. If we couldn’t be in the ocean, we could at least enjoy eating things that did live in the ocean. We enjoyed our little weekend getaway in Delaware. Here are some of the photos I took at the beach.
Outrunning my demons 