Thailand, our fellow travelers 2

March 7, 2018 / Outrunning my demons / Leave a comment

As you can imagine, I found most of our fellow travelers on the Thailand trip eccentric and adventurous.

Quite a few of our fellow travelers were Asian Americans, but not Thai. Many of the travelers were couples, but not all. There were cousins, parent, child, siblings, co-workers, and friends that traveled together. There was one couple from Peru, the rest were Americans.

No one got sick. No one fought. That’s not to say that everyone got along perfectly.

I didn’t feel like we hit it off really well with the doctor. I think he looked down at us for tanning before the trip. But it was good to know that there was a doctor and several nurses on this trip. What if someone (really me in particular) had an allergic reaction or accident in the middle of nowhere? Although the doctor said he wouldn’t be much help without medicine.

I did learn from the doctor though. His wife and one of their four (adult) children accompanied them on the trip. I thought it was a cool idea to take one child at a time for some special sibling free time alone with the parents. Maybe it would be a good college graduation gift idea.

We met a couple of retired college professors that are spending their time behind the scenes in Chicago theater. One of the guys is an extra in TV shows for fun. They told us to look them up if we were in Chicago and they could tell us what shows are hot. We also met a beautiful dancer/actress who was also traveling with a co-worker who was in wardrobe in NYC for a big TV show.

We met a brother/sister and significant others from Detroit. They were in their 20’s and spent their first whole day in Thailand getting tattoos. They were super adventurous. We hit it off really well with them.

We are now Facebook friends with the couple from Peru and told them that we would love to visit.

We talked to the brothers on the last day. They told us they were planning on missing their flight and staying.

We met a couple in their 60’s that invited us out to supper one night. The man was blunt, crass, and spoke in a way that caused the sailors in us to blush. His wife was pretty laid back. They were hippies back in the 70’s. The guy made and sold pot pipes back in the day. After that, they started another business and work together. We spoke about things that we don’t talk about with others at home. I told the lady about my childhood when she asked how wild I was when I was young. She said when she was in high school, she would drop acid before school. She said she is pretty boring now. She said I needed to let go and live a little.

That is what I was doing. Living a little. Letting go. Getting high on life without using drugs. Starting to follow my dreams of being a world traveler. Talking to others who are doing the same thing. Asking them what their favorite places they have been to in the world. Making connections in different cities, states, countries, and continents. Promising to visit if we ever travel there. Breathing it all in.

Our fellow world travelers were an interesting group. We shared some amazing experiences. We ate rat. We rode elephants. We bargained at the markets. For 10 days we experienced another life together.

Traveling is intoxicating. I want to visit the whole world. I want to see things as they really are. I want to enjoy the world around me wherever I am.

I would even love to visit your world…But, be forewarned! You just might end up in a blog post. Ha ha ha…

Thailand, Day 8

March 1, 2018 / Outrunning my demons / Leave a comment

We left Ayutthaya this morning and were heading to Pattaya. After breakfast, Paul decided to stay downstairs. It seemed a little out of character for him. The elevator was old, small, and rickety. It would not go anywhere at all if the weight limit was exceeded. A big guy could almost feel a little trapped.

I don’t know how many times I tripped going into the bathrooms of our hotel rooms. The bathroom floors in most hotel rooms were lower than the regular room floors. If it was dark and you were trying to make your way to the bathroom in the middle of the night, chances are good that you might have to catch yourself from falling. In this hotel’s bathroom, the shower was built for someone 5 ft tall. Paul wondered how he was going to fit under it.

Paul found black marks on the wall near the outlets from sparks. “This whole place could burn down at any moment and we are on the top floor!” exclaimed Paul. Surprisingly, I didn’t worry all that much about anything, which is a big role reversal for Paul and I. I thought the hotel, although old, was charming. It was hot in the hallway when I was waiting for an elevator down. I noticed that the window nearby was wide open without a screen and took the picture above without falling.

The first stop of the morning was to a public grade school. In general, the kids in the public schools are poor. They don’t need to get a high school diploma and sometimes leave before reaching high school to work. The tour group we used has a foundation that helps support the public schools by covering extra expenses such as computers. We were encouraged to bring school supplies, but not to give the children money directly. After the anthem, flag raising, exercise time, and morning meditation a child would take our hand and bring us to their classroom. We read a story in English to them and they read to us in their language. It was a very moving experience.

Our tour guide said if someone is born poor that it is very hard to leave their station. If they get married, the man has to pay a dowry to his future bride’s family. Our guide had to pay $30,000 US dollars to marry his wife. A poor man cannot afford to marry a rich girl. A very attractive poor girl has a higher dowry than a poor girl that is plain. People rarely divorce, they marry the family.

After the school, we visited a gem factory. We went on a small tour ride then were taken past the workers making jewelry. Soon we entered the biggest jewelry store I’ve ever been in. I bought Paul a new wedding ring with a Topaz gem. He broke his first ring and lost his second. The third time’s the charm. Right?

We got into our hotel rooms in the late afternoon. Pattaya was not at all like I was expecting. It was a bigger city than I imagined it to be. We decided to sit by the pool for awhile. I ordered a drink that I thought would be like a bloody Mary. But it was more like unsalted tomato juice with vodka, very different.

That evening we were invited to go to a restaurant with another couple from the tour. They said that it was supposed to be the best in the city and it certainly was. If you are ever in Pattaya, you have to go to Bruno’s. Paul and I thought it was one of the top restaurants we’ve ever been to. The food was out of this world. The service was unbelievable. They even transported us to and from our hotel which was quite a drive through traffic.

Tomorrow we will be exploring Coral Island and Pattaya.

Thailand, Day 7

February 28, 2018 / Outrunning my demons / Leave a comment

Today we left paradise and headed to the city of Ayutthaya. On the way we stopped by several street vendors. The first place was selling chickens and rats. They were out of snake.

Our tour guide purchased a rat and said that we could sample some for lunch after it was cooked some more. These rats were from the patty fields, but with the accent of the tour guide it sounded more like pedophile rats. I did not try this Thai delicacy, but Paul did. He said it tasted like beef. I wimped out after watching the documentary about rats not too long ago. But I assume there is a big difference between NYC sewer rats and Thai rice patty rats.

I did try the sticky rice made with beans. When I think of rice and beans, I typically think of Mexican food. This tasted like an extra sweet rice pudding.

We also sampled a burrito with what looked like my hair wrapped inside. It was almost too sweet.

We watched the vendors make the burritos and hair by hand. Our tour guide said that it was their version of cotton candy.

A few things happened today that are worth mentioning. First, our tour bus almost got hit by a semi. I wore my seat belt on the bus every time after that. The tour guide said that the country has a problem with the drug speed, especially with semi drivers. They take it so they can work long hours. When they get into accidents, they run off. Not too long after our close call, we saw an abandoned semi tipped over on the side of the road.

Also, when we went to the rat vendor, there were birds and a squirrel locked in cages. The squirrel was really agitated and wanted to get out. I thought that was peculiar. Was it next in line to be cooked? I mean, they eat rat. Why not squirrel? Our tour guide said that the Buddhist people will come and pay money to set the caged animals free. Then at night, the birds fly back into their cages only to be sold and set free again the next day.

The next stop on our trip was to the Summer Royal Palace. It was a breathtakingly beautiful place.

This is where the royalty stayed in ages past. In the middle left of the picture is an area where the royalty could see who was coming by looking through the slated windows, but no one could see in.

Centuries ago, no one was allowed to touch royalty. Then one summer day, the queen had a boating accident. The people watched her drown because if they touched royalty generations of their family would be killed. The king was so heartbroken that he abolished the law.

This lizard found his way inside by the other animals.

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I don’t have a lot of pictures by the Royal Palace. Today was the hottest day (over 100 degrees). I was not allowed into the palace with the shirt I was wearing. I had to buy another shirt to wear over my shirt. I already bought the pants I was wearing. First of all, all of the wild pants I bought were not worn by locals only tourists. I think it boldly proclaimed that I was an idiot that didn’t bother to pack pants or acceptable clothing.

To tell you the truth, I was getting very irritable at this point. I never wore so many clothes on such a hot day before. I felt overheated, sluggish, and weighed down by all of the crap I was carrying. Don’t let my smile fool you. I think I was suffering from WAT (What, another temple??) syndrome. At this point in the journey, I was starting to feel a little templed and palaced out.

In the evening we went to see the ruins of the former capital. It was beautiful at sunset.

Look at the back of my shirt. The back has a knitted material that you can see my skin through. Oops. At least I had something that matched the wild pants though.

If you look to my right, you can see the statues of the Buddhas with their heads cut off. The heads of the Buddhas were made of gold and were stolen when the city was raided.

We loved visiting the ruins, but for others it was their backyard.

Thailand, Day 4

February 22, 2018 / Outrunning my demons / Leave a comment

We started Day 4 with an optional tour of the Grand Palace and Emerald Buddha. We took the tour bus through the crowded streets of Bangkok to get there. There were cars and trucks everywhere. Then there were people that weaved through the traffic on scooters. It was not uncommon to see multiple people, including children and babies, as passengers on the scooters. Only a few of the people wore helmets.

Like yesterday, the palace and temple contained intricately detailed ornate designs. My photos don’t do it justice.

Today I had to wear pants and a shirt with sleeves to gain entrance. To view the Buddha’s in the temples visited, we had to leave our shoes outside. We were not allowed to photograph the Emerald Buddha. Upon entrance to the Emerald Buddha, Paul and I both remarked having a strong unexpected emotional response that is hard to explain. It almost brought me to tears. We couldn’t imagine going there if we were actually Buddhists. The Emerald Buddha itself was very small and dressed in the winter wardrobe. The Buddha’s clothes change with the seasons. We were struck by its beauty.

Above is a picture of some of the sacrifices made to the Buddha.

The monks in Thailand don’t have to be monks for life. Our tour guide was a monk for 3 months (the shortest period of time allowed). Being a monk brings honor to their mother. Monks only eat twice a day, once at breakfast and lunch. People bring the monks food alms.

After the temple visit, we took a boat canal tour. The boat on the left was our boat.

Here is another picture of a boat on the river in downtown Bangkok.

We had to wait a few minutes for the canal locks to open. Once inside, the boat was tied up until the locks closed and we could begin our tour.

I took a few pictures of what the houses along the canal look like.

It is hard to imagine that people live here.

Although there aren’t any crocodiles and alligators, there are huge lizards.

The picture below is of the nicest house on the canal. If you look closely you can see that the windows are broken and the house has been left to ruin. The owners were robbed and murdered. No one wants to live there with the ghosts in the house. This is not the norm. Our tour guide said that the rich and poor usually live side by side in harmony as it is the Buddhist way.

Then after the tour, we met up with a friend of ours that lives in Bangkok. He married a Thai woman and promised her father upon marriage that they would come back if he became poor of health or reached 75 years of age. While in America, they adopted a little girl.

The first thing we did was go to a food market. There were rows and rows of food sitting out to be sold. The smell was nauseating and we didn’t buy anything. After that we went to a grocery store. The grocery store was smaller than the market. Most of the food wasn’t ready to pick up and put into the cart. Some of the food was in bulk or needed to be weighed.

After that, we picked up their daughter from her school. She attends an English speaking international private Catholic Buddhist school. I asked how that worked. He said that he thinks they like the idea of family with Mary and Jesus. The Buddha is always single.

Then we visited our friends house. They live in a house that was about the same size as their house back in the US. They are really close to their neighbors. We could hear when the TV was turned on next door. It was stifling hot in the house. But to them it was not hot enough to turn on the A/C.

After our friend’s wife returned from work, we walked 8 blocks to a restaurant. The restaurant was outdoors and ducks were hanging out front. We were able to choose what kind of duck meat we wanted and also the noodles in our soup. No one in the restaurant spoke English. The total cost of the meal was $10 for 5 people. We tried juice that was made from flowers and/or juice from fruit that we never heard of before.

Afterwards, our friend’s wife and daughter walked home and we were off to the entertainment district of Pat Pong. It is impossible to cross the street anywhere, so they have little walkways every so often that go over the street. We crossed the street and hopped into the back of a truck that had two rows in the back. Our friend stood on the platform in the back of the truck. We jumped off the truck 10 minutes later to catch the sky train. The sky train was tricky. I’m sure we wouldn’t have been able to do it without someone that knew how.

After we got off of the sky train, we walked through a block of people selling items like sunglasses to reach the Pat Pong entertainment district. At Pat Pong there were 3 long rows of markets surrounded by a dozen of night clubs with pole dancers. Outside the clubs, there were greasy looking men holding cards that had a list of things the girls inside could do for money. I will leave it at that. It was pretty seedy.

Some of the pole dancers came out of the night clubs wearing hardly any clothes. Quite a few of them had braces. These girls looked really young. My guess would be that most were in their early teens. Where did they get the money for braces? Or did they get braces to look younger and make more money?

We walked through the rows of markets, but there was nothing I wanted to buy. Everything started looking the same. I was getting sick of shopping at the markets. There were a few infants and toddlers sleeping on tables at the market outside of night clubs. It was absolutely heartbreaking to see how these children and young girls lived. I try to keep an open mind when visiting other cultures, but there are some things that I just am not okay with.

We stopped by a quiet bar without dancers to have a few drinks and talk to our friend. Paul asked our friend what he thought the hardest part of living in Thailand was from the perspective of an outsider. Our friend replied that he had a hard time dealing with the isolation. He didn’t have anyone that he could talk to and relate with.

The waitresses at the bar were older than the pole dancing girls. We gave them a small tip for the drinks and they seemed surprised and thankful. On the way out of the entertainment district, we walked by a short plump man who was cracking a whip trying to entice us to see his girls.

We bid our friend farewell at the sky train. Thankfully there was a monitor on the train that had some English on it so we could find our way back by ourselves. Paul and I spoke freely about our adventures of the day on the train. No one understood a word we were saying. The people stared at us smiling. We exited the sky train and took the last ferry boat back to our hotel.

Today we got the whole Bangkok experience.

Tomorrow we leave for another city.

Thailand, Day 1

February 16, 2018 / Outrunning my demons / Leave a comment

Leaving…We left the afternoon of Super Bowl Sunday. We arrived at the airport early for a flight that would take us to Chicago for our international flight.

Our flight to Chicago got cancelled. We got 5 inches of snow overnight, not a big deal. Chicago got the snow during the day. All small flights into Chicago were cancelled.

We were several hours from the airport and our flight was cancelled. What were we going to do?? Thankfully the answer arrived in less than a half an hour in the form of a coach bus. Good thing we got to the airport really early. Otherwise we might have missed the bus altogether. I was also thankful the Packers were not in the Super Bowl this year. We probably wouldn’t have been able to find a sober bus driver in the whole state!

I dressed for warm weather but the wind chills were below zero. I couldn’t wait for the 100 degree temperature change. I think I was going to enjoy Thailand’s cold season better than ours. It wasn’t until we were on the road for an hour that we finally got some heat on the bus. I didn’t bother wearing or packing a winter jacket or pants. Because, well…Thailand.

I was afraid that I forgot something. I must’ve checked my passport a million times. It was still there. What is it about leaving that tricks your mind into thinking that something important was forgotten??

We made it to the airport in Chicago with a few hours to spare. We spent 45 minutes in line just to go through security. Then a few minutes after midnight, we entered the biggest plane I’ve ever seen and were off on our adventure.

I fell into a medicated sleep for the first 5 hours. I awoke having to use the bathroom. But the guy next to me was asleep and barely spoke any English. I held it as long as I could. Then I tapped the man beside me on the shoulder. He still didn’t wake up. It was an awkward situation.

After that I couldn’t sleep. We were in the economy section. I couldn’t justify the extra couple thousands of dollars on comfort. My body was stiff, sore, and tired. I watched 3 movies…Mother!, It, and The Bad Mom’s Christmas. All except the last movie sucked. I’ve never sat still long enough in my life to watch 3 movies in a day.

After 16 hours on the plane, we finally landed in Taiwan for a short layover. The flight was smooth and I really didn’t feel afraid. I didn’t freak out. I might have gotten over my fear of flying!

Then back on the plane again for another 4 hours…

We arrived in Thailand late Tuesday morning.

I’m leaving

February 3, 2018 / Outrunning my demons / 3 Comments

In about 24 hours I will be packing my bags and leaving this cold climate behind. I’ll be visiting a climate that is 100 degrees hotter than mine.

I will finish cleaning the house and doing loads of laundry. Soon I will create a packing list. I’m afraid of leaving something behind, something obvious like a camera or my passport. Don’t laugh, I’ve done things like that before. I packed a suitcase for my husband once and forgot underwear. The good news, my husband never asked me to pack his suitcase again. Last year my husband went on a sailing trip and forgot to pack any shirts.

We will be on an airplane for a total of almost 21 hours. 21 hours!!! The longest I’ve been on a plane is 6 hours and that freaked me out. We are heading to Thailand tomorrow and checking our first continent (outside of our own) off our bucket list.

What is it about traveling that makes everyone tell you about their horror story flights? Or bring up terrorists? Or plane crashes? The TV show Lost??

I’m not sure how I will handle the flight. I always have this irrational fear that I am going to start screaming on a plane. Kind of like the time I went on a roller coaster that was too much for me. I am afraid of being out of control. I certainly won’t have any control over the plane. It makes me feel trapped.

Thankfully I have medication for that. I am going to start a stop watch on my phone after I take my medicine. A stop watch seems kind of creepy though. I don’t know any other way to keep track of time after skipping so many time zones. The last thing I want to do is OD on a plane. Yes, I suffer from chronic worry.

Since we are leaving Chicago right after midnight maybe I will sleep. But I sleep on planes like I sleep in the hospital. How can I sleep sitting straight up? Plus there is always noise…dinging from announcements, other people, hospital emergencies with a little turbulence thrown in..I always wondered why they hand out peanuts on planes. Don’t a lot of people have serious allergies to peanuts??

There is a 12 hour time change for us in Thailand. I am excited to finally see the world, it’s just the getting there that sucks! Sitting still and relaxing are not my things. Now if they had a treadmill on the plane…The more nervous I am, the more I want to move. I try not to let fear stop me. There is nothing like flying 21 hours one way to confront my fear of flying.

Paul and I are going to celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. We will be visiting with our old neighbors, and going on a tour. I promise to take lots of pictures and keep a journal. This will probably be the last time you hear from me for awhile. But I promise to tell you about it when we get back.

This will be the first time we are away from family and work for this long. We have family staying with the kids every night. The last time we went away things didn’t go very well. The dog tore up the linoleum in the bathroom. Alex got a rash and thought he had bedbugs (thankfully we didn’t). I expect the house to be trashed and a pile of work waiting for me when I get back.

But I think that having a break will be worth whatever we come back home to. I will try my hardest not to worry and to relax. It might be so nice that we won’t want to come back home..

The ice shove

February 2, 2018 / Outrunning my demons / 2 Comments

As you may have guessed, running and writing are two of my favorite hobbies.

I also love photography and traveling. Unfortunately, I can’t do the last two hobbies as often as the first two. I could take pictures of everyday mundane life and selfies galore. But that bores me. So why wouldn’t it bore you??

I didn’t have to travel far to get a few pictures of the ice shove on the bay of Lake Michigan in Wisconsin. Even local friends asked where I was off to this time…Alaska? Antarctica?? No, just my beautiful home state.

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You really should consider booking a visit. Summer is the best time. But as you can see, winter is beautiful here too. Today the wind chills are only in the single digits below zero. So it is warming up out there!

The ice shove is 20 feet high. This is the biggest ice shove I’ve seen in my lifetime. It took some really nasty weather conditions to make this. Thankfully the beauty that resulted lasted longer than the storm. Kind of like real life sometimes…

The first and last generation to listen??

February 1, 2018 / Outrunning my demons / 2 Comments

The other day I watched a heartwarming video about kids that grew up in the 70’s and 80’s. It started out with a cute little blip about surviving bike rides without helmets and drinking water out of hoses. Then it ended with a comment that went something like this…we were the last generation to listen to our parents and the first generation to listen to our children.

Wait…What??

Everything before that last statement was obvious. Yes, we rode bikes without helmets and drank water out of a hose…but the last statement really made me think. Could it be true??

Remember growing up in the 70’s and 80’s (if you did)? Remember when kids sporting events had parent night? Think about it. Why would they do that? On those nights parents would attend their childrens games.

Today’s parents sometimes even go to practices! That never would’ve happened in the 70’s or 80’s.

My younger brothers rode their bikes 10 miles one way into town with a group of friends for Little League practices and games when they were in grade school (without helmets…gasp…). That was not an uncommon practice.

Are we an over involved generation of parents? It the pendulum swinging back the other way from having under involved parents?

Or is it just easier to be over involved? Our kids can text us with any little problem that they have during the school day. I can fix that for you. My son texted me this week that he had a flat tire. Do you need me to come help? I never bothered my parents during the school day unless I had to call home sick. If my car broke down, hopefully I had a flashlight with me or the stranger answered the door when I knocked. We had to solve most of our problems by ourselves.

I can tell where my teens are by pushing a button on my phone. I can get instant notifications about their grades. I can peer directly into their social media world. I can’t think of another time in history when there has been such a big gap between generations.

It is hard to put restrictions on our children’s technology when they know more about it than we do.

But were we the last generation to listen to our parents? I honestly don’t think that has changed much. Teens today get such a bad rap. How would you like someone in your business all day long? I think most teens listen just fine.

Although I do think parents have less control over their kids. Parents are looked down upon for disciplining their children, yet are also looked down upon when their kids are acting up. You’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t.

I simply think that most kids are spoiled because we give give give way too much. We care too much. We fix things too much. We won’t let them work out their own problems because we know about them as they are happening and troubleshoot them with our kids.

Are we the first generation that listens to our children? Probably. My mother was raised to be seen and not heard. She tried to break that pattern with us. We did talk a lot, but I couldn’t imagine telling her half the stuff my kids tell me.

I have had very some very open and non-judgmental conversations with my older kids about some difficult topics such as sex, drugs, drinking…you name it. Guess what? Sometimes I don’t like what I hear. But I think it is important to keep the lines of communication open and offer them guidance.

I haven’t had as many conversations with my youngest yet. Although Arabella is 14, she hasn’t started dating or even tried drugs or drinking except for the small glass of champagne I gave her recently when we were celebrating something big.

It is never too early to talk. Last year Arabella had a friend that was very depressed after coming out of the closet with a few close friends. She is still afraid to tell her parents. I found out about it before her parents did because my daughter was worried about her friend and needed someone to talk to. Also, my daughter had another friend that tried to kill herself this week. These kids are only in their early teens.

Does talking to your kids prevent bad things from happening? Does it stop them from going down the wrong path? Does it prevent you from getting a phone call that you would never want to get? Probably not, but at least they know that I will always be here if they need to talk. It’s the best I can do to help them through it.

Rocking the boat

January 31, 2018 / Outrunning my demons / 1 Comment

Yesterday I got a call from Sally. I didn’t recognize the number, but I answered my phone anyway. Sally was rather distressed. She is the mother of my son’s good friend Grant.

The first thought that came to my mind was…Oh crap, now what did my son do???!?

Sally told me that everyone thinks she is a horrible mother. Her son got four D’s on his report card. He told her that grades really don’t matter. She said that it didn’t make any sense because her daughter was upset that she didn’t get a 4.0. Thank goodness for our overachieving daughters or we would feel like awful parents.

My son has been struggling with his grades since 8th grade. He simply doesn’t care. We tried everything that we could think of doing. We grounded him from his computer, Xbox and friends. That just made his attitude worse and then he totally gave up. It didn’t work at all. He barely slid by without having to retake some classes in the summer. This semester he only got one D, so things are looking up.

I told Sally that I totally understand and that she isn’t a bad mother.

Look at my son! He has a brilliant mind if he applies himself. My husband Paul is a great chess player. I’ve never seen anyone beat him in person. Paul told the kids when they were little that he would buy them a car if they beat him at chess. Alex studied chess, played countless matches online, did tutorials, and joined the chess club at school. He worked hard and finally beat his dad.

Alex is also great at music. Last year he played an incredibly challenging piece for solo and ensemble. He received a perfect score at state. This year he decided to play a piece that is so challenging that he is having a hard time finding an accompanist to play this piece. One pianist said that the piece he chose would be something a doctorate candidate would play. It is very fast and extremely challenging. This is what he wants to do. But what great music college is going to accept a talented musician that has a GPA of 2.0?

Why doesn’t he take his A game to school with him? He has to decide that he wants good grades or it won’t happen.

When he was little, Alex sucked his fingers. We wanted to break him of the habit once he started school. I tried everything and nothing worked. I tried the spicy finger varnish that went on like nail polish. He stuck his fingers in his mouth and told me that he likes spicy. A couple months later he decided that he wanted to stop sucking his fingers and did.

I would call my son lazy, but I think he is just not motivated.

Both Alex and Grant worked really hard this last summer and made somewhere between $5,000 to $6,000. Sally and I both found out recently that the boys pretty much pissed away all of their money on fast food. There is no doubt that both boys probably paid for their friends to eat as well. Was there a lesson learned somewhere? What a waste!

Sally said that she didn’t know what to do. Ever since her son got his license he doesn’t want to hang around home anymore. Grant is her oldest child. What is she doing wrong? How could he do this when she has given him everything to help him succeed? The only advice her parents gave her in high school was not to get pregnant. She didn’t go on to school. She wants so much better for her son.

All of this is scary business for the first time mother of teenagers. I told Sally that everything would be okay. I told her that she is not a bad mother because her son was acting like an idiot.

The problem with being a parent of teenagers is that sometimes you have to watch them fail. Sometimes they make the wrong decisions and end up hurting themselves. It is heartbreaking as a parent to see this. I’m hoping someday that we can all laugh about this…like when they are parents of teenagers..

To think, I didn’t even tell Sally about the party at the cabin last summer.

It’s strange but I was able to use my own struggles to comfort another parent. We are in the same boat, I’ve just been in the boat a little longer to know how to respond to the waves that rock the boat.

Paul’s journey, part 10

January 30, 2018 / Outrunning my demons / Leave a comment

I’m going to conclude Paul’s journey today.

Wow, that came across as a little harsh. Almost like I will be waiting at the door for him with an arsenic cocktail.

What I meant to say is that I will finish telling the story today. The story isn’t over, in fact some might say it is just beginning..

I just wanted to get the point across that Paul grew up poor starting his life in the inner city of Chicago without a father born to a teenage mother that dropped out of high school.

He had a dream of starting a business. After working very hard for almost 2 decades he saw his hard work come to fruition.

The American dream is alive and well. If Paul can do it, anyone can. The odds were against him. He is a self-made man.

It has been a huge adjustment. I don’t think the fear of not being able to make ends meet will ever go away for Paul. Being poor is so ingrained into who he is. It is a bit of an identity crisis.

I wrote a couple of series on this blog before. This was by far the hardest. If I wanted to do an adequate job of it, it would probably take me at least 6 months of writing his story everyday. I’m not going to do that here. I get bored of hearing broken records (if that is a thing anymore). I like changing things up.

So I will share with you my life. The joys, the heartaches, the journey. All of it..

I want to write a book someday about Paul’s life. It is very inspirational and remarkable story. I may just write it to leave behind for future generations. I would have to get a lot more detailed information. I told Paul that I would be writing a series about him. One day I grilled him for information while we went cross country skiing. He asked me if I would stop asking him questions about the dark days that past and we could focus on the beauty of nature on the trail instead.

Paul doesn’t spend as much time in the past like I do. He focuses more on the future.

I also found it challenging because the story isn’t over yet. I wrote a series previously about eccentric family members that passed away. I found it easier because that story is over now. There are certain things that I can grab onto and remember, but there will never be any more stories.

I have been with Paul over 20 years now. A lot has happened since we met. There was a lot that happened before we met that I couldn’t share from personal experience. I worried that my information might not be accurate enough for my liking. Also, how do you narrow down 23 years together into 10 series? To do an adequate job I would have to do a lot of thinking, note writing, and question asking. I would need an outline of sorts. Sounds like a lot of work for a hobby and I’m a marathon runner.

Plus another thing I wasn’t expecting was how my feelings got in the way. For example, if I was planning on writing a post that was positive and encouraging about Paul but we just got into a fight…how do I brush that aside?? It seems fake. He is the best thing that ever happened to me…but I want to conclude his story right now with arsenic just doesn’t give the right feel. Seriously, all is well.

All I can say was that it’s been a wild ride. I wasn’t really expecting that.

Outrunning my demons

Outrunning my demons one step at a time.

Life