Month: April 2026

April’s crying

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The snow is gone and the grass is green, almost in need of the first mowing.

The floodgates opened and April came in crying. For a whole week, we had torrential downpours. We lost power for an afternoon. Rain water seeped into cracks of our very foundation we never knew we had before. I had to throw away a few things, but compared to others it wasn’t a big deal. Several nights driving home from work, the lightening flashed like a strobe light. The rains flooded area streets and you couldn’t see it coming even as you were driving through it. Hail cracked at my windshield. The first hit like a stone throw. What is happening? Crunching golf balls under my tires. Do I drive across it like I’m driving through snow? This was new territory even for me. How do I navigate it?

My mother is dying. I think it will be soon. I am asked which funeral home. Does she want to be buried or cremated? Will I be calling one of her siblings to tell the rest or will I be calling all of them? Mother’s Day ads. Songs about mothers on the radio. Songs about the passage of time. I can’t cry on my way to work. Old pictures. I had better set some aside. What will she wear? She is just skin and bones. How can they repair?

How can you sum up a life in an hour or two? Then she will be gone forever. Just to leave me behind with only the memories we shared. Was I good enough? Will I have regrets? What was her? What was her diseased state of mind? Maybe if I had more compassion instead of irritation.

This is new territory. How will I navigate it?

April update

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We left off as a blizzard was approaching. We got hit with a huge storm, making the roads nearly impassable. I did make it in to work that weekend, and ended up hunkering down at my daughter Angel’s house who lives 5 minutes away. I’ve never driven in worse conditions. The cold weather and storms left our roads with massive potholes. Our early spring weather has not been a lot better with cool temps and massive rainfalls and ice storms. We lost power for a day. I am really starting to long for warm and sunny days.

Thankfully the weather didn’t hamper our vacation plans. I almost had two weeks off of work. When I got back to work, I was told the good news that our supervisor resigned. I really hope this will improve the work environment.

Right after getting home from our trip, I went to visit my mom. It had been several weeks since I saw her. I was sick one week, the blizzard hit the next, and then we were off on our trip. I could tell when I saw her that she had rapidly declined. She no longer eats or drinks much and oftentimes afterwards gets sick. She stopped smiling, talking much, or acknowledging my presence. Her light is fading fast. A lot of times, I cope by distracting myself from thinking about it. It’s hard to see her this way, not able to care for her own basic needs. She looks like a skeleton.

I try to focus on good things, like becoming a grandma soon. Angel is 6 months along and starting to show. She is due on her birthday in July, just like I was due on my birthday with her. They are going to have a baby girl. They decided to buy my parent’s house. My brothers accepted their offer. My parents built the house 50 years ago and haven’t done anything with it since then. They are going to have their work cut out for them.

My husband Paul is almost done with the tax season. He is doing really well but has been working every day since the day after we got back. I really appreciate his hard work and he really saved me by doing the guardianship accounting for my brother. It was a mess since I became guardian several months into 2025, taking over from my mother who was developing dementia. My mom started 2025 by writing out checks, and I took over in the 2nd quarter until I was able to get a payee in the 3rd quarter.

It’s hard to believe life has changed so much over the past year, even the past month. I wonder what the next year will bring.

Greece

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At The Parthenon
Greek cat
A shepherd herding goats

We visited Greece for my daughter’s college graduation mystery trip. As you can tell by the photos, Greece is a beautiful country.

I was finally able to cross the continent of Europe off my bucket list. And we were able to give our daughter her graduation gift from 2020.

We had a layover in Germany where I was able to speak German with some of the people there. I just started to learn German several weeks back, another bucket list item.

In Greece, we spent several days in Athens. We also visited Olympia, Delphi, and Meteora. It was a lot of travel to pack into one week but so worth it.

We tried a lot of different foods. I enjoyed the Moussaka which is almost like a lasagna but with potatoes and eggplant. I really enjoyed eggplant more than I thought I would.

The one thing I wasn’t used to was seeing animals everywhere. There were a lot of cats wandering around and even stray dogs, but no one seemed to mind.

We learned a lot about Greek gods and ancient history. We walked amidst the ruins. The people of Greece were very friendly. We went over the end of their winter, much like ours at home. The temps were in the 50’s, so rather cool.

But most importantly, as a family with my husband and I, and Angel and Dan, we were able to create moments and memories. Experiences.