It happened on a cold December day like today.
It happened to a woman my age who had children the ages of some of my children.
I wonder what it would be like..to find out that I was pregnant unexpectedly. She was worried that her husband would be upset when she suspected. She told my mother that.
Her oldest child was already married and out of the house. Her youngest child was 8.
For a couple of months, her oldest child and her were pregnant at the same time.
It was in December many decades ago that her last child, a healthy baby girl was born.
My mom who was the second oldest, called her older sister the day after the baby was born.
“She’s dead”, my mom said. “The baby?”, asked her sister. “No, mom”.
Many decades, years, minutes, and seconds have passed since that cold December day. The oldest daughter has already passed away. Most of my aunts and uncles are reaching retirement age. But I still see them long for the mother that left them too soon. When they get together they still read the old letters she wrote. Tales of what was made for dinner the evening before. Stories about nothing important that makes the siblings laugh and cry.
I feel very thankful that I have had my mother in my life so long.
Paul and I are now approaching the loss of our first parent. It really forces us to face death. I thought about it a lot over the trip to Door County last month with my mother and a few of her siblings, especially when they spoke of the loss of their mother. (The picture above is of my mom and her sister).
My mother’s youngest brother, the 8 year old boy at the time of his mother’s death, said in Door County that some of his favorite movies today are the ones that his mother took him to see right before she died. It was really touching.
My oldest uncle was 16 when his mom passed away. I have a 16 year old son. He would be mortified if I told him I was pregnant. It is the age that most teenage boys don’t want anything to do with their mother. I suspect that my uncle felt the same way and felt guilty for wanting to separate from his mother especially after she passed away unexpectedly. He is currently going through a nasty divorce from a woman that I knew for my whole life to be my aunt. At this hard time, he yearns for his mother so much that he has been visiting a medium just to try to talk to her again. It is terribly sad.
My mother said to me many times growing up that she wished her mother was there. She knew that her mother would have helped her raise an autistic child.
I never met my grandma. I have only seen the impact she has had on her children. From this, I know that she was a good person.
I am so blessed to have my mother in my life for this long..
Outrunning my demons 