Running

Real life Tetris 

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What is easier, training for a marathon or blogging about painful events in my life? In analysis, they both take approximately the same amount of time per week. I would say, without a doubt, that training for a marathon is much easier. I only feel tired and perhaps physically sore after running. I feel tired, sometimes upset, depressed, and emotionally sore after blogging. 

Is there anybody out there? Am I all alone? Where have the other siblings of the disabled gone? Have you escaped? Have I not? How can I? Why can’t I? I don’t want to do this anymore. It is too personal. The feelings are too raw. I am picking away at old poorly healed scabs. This worries me. 

I feel very overwhelmed in general. I was just notified of mandatory practices for my kids at school the next couple of weeks that conflict with other mandatory practices. When do I have time to work? What about work? We are picking up our biggest client ever the end of this week. It is great, but overwhelming. Will I be able to perform? Will I be able to handle the work? I feel like I am playing Tetris right now. Pieces falling haphazardly on other pieces and nothing fits. I am fighting to stay in control. I worry about the things I can’t control. Am I all alone?

Marathon training, week 10

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I’m back on the road again after taking off a week due to an ankle injury. I ran 6 miles on this very hot and humid day. I felt fine with no pain even after having to jump out of the way to avoid stepping on a huge toad. I spent a lot of time reflecting. If you haven’t noticed already, I am a person who has hard core determination, a stubborn iron will, and impressive self-control. It has been a great strength and great weakness, as most gifts are. The greatest strength that comes out of this is my ability to follow a rigorous training schedule. I have noticed over the past year that this really gives me a competive edge. This is a gift, I have found, that few people have. 

The weaknesses of this are that I can be judgmental. If I can eat only one potato chip and you eat the whole bag, then I am critical of you. It gives me an “if I can do it why can’t you” mentality. This makes me feel frustrated and resentful. It is wrong for me to expect perfection from others and perhaps myself. My husband once said that even if Jesus came back, he wouldn’t be perfect enough for me. I don’t think this was a compliment. This gift also makes me stupid. If I didn’t get injured last week, I would have ran 24 miles outside on an extremely hot and humid day. So, in essence, being injured saved me from my worst enemy, myself. 

I thought a lot today about decisions we make and predestination. I tend to believe that things happen for a reason. I have been asked if I believe this, then why do bad things happen to good people. I don’t know. But I have experienced being upset at leaving late only to find out that if I left on time I could have been involved in a fatal accident. Maybe that has happened to you too. Other things have happened this month, such as rescuing a man on the water. We weren’t even supposed to be sailing on that day at that time. Due to an unplanned string of events, we were there and may have saved that man’s life. I have to believe that happened for a reason. 

Marathon training, week 9

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I won’t be running 24 miles this week. Yes, you did hear me right. I injured myself. I wish I could say that I hurt myself doing something heroic, like rescuing another sailor lost at sea. Or possibly something daring or exciting that few of you would be brave enough to try. But it was something mundane that got me. I guess I was worried about the wrong things. Even if I put myself in a completely protective bubble, I would still risk tripping over my own two feet. 

I was looking for my youngest daughter to tell her that supper was ready last night. I couldn’t find her anywhere. I quickly climbed two steps on her bunk bed ladder and only went down one rolling my ankle as I missed the last rung. My ankle is swollen and sore, but I think I should be back on my feet by next week. Maybe the end of this week if I’m really lucky. 

I’ve heard that pride comes before a fall. I admit I am guilty! My kids are still limping around the house after the 5k. I limped around a day or two after the half marathon, but didn’t have to recover from the 5k or 10k. I am stronger than everyone in my house. I am a better runner. Aahhhhhhhh as I fall down the stairs and end up limping up and down them like everyone else. Oh damn the limits of being a mere mortal! 

It could be worse. I found out this past weekend that my runner cousin injured his foot so bad that he can’t even walk on it for a month. He was one of the people that was instrumental in me starting this blog about running, even though I spend more time talking about the things that I am out running. Lol. It is hard to think about your run being over, but I feel good that with some rest I will be back on the road again soon. 

My silver birthday medal

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I called this “won”. My silver birthday week ended with a silver medal. Inwardly, I am chuckling at the irony of earning the icing on my cake. I finished the 5k in 25 minutes. I awoke this morning to thunder and heavy rain. When we got to the race, it stopped raining. I guess there was a silver lining in the gray clouds after all. It was a hot and humid run. My mom, Paul, and the kids all finished but did not place. 

 Now back to marathon training mode with another 24 mile run planned for this next week. Pfwhew…

Marathon training, week 8

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I am done training for the week. I worked out for a total of 2 hours this week compared to my normal 6. No, not because it was my birthday this week. It took everything I had not to go for a 6 mile run on my birthday. Pretty sad, huh? Actually I decided to take it easy to get ready for a 5k this weekend. I want to place in my age group. Looking at last year’s results it isn’t going to be a (birthday) cake walk (run). Plus we are going to have the summer’s first heat wave this weekend, but everyone will be in the same boat as far as that goes. Wouldn’t it just be the icing on my cake if I got a silver medal the week of my silver birthday? Geez. In my opinion, I already won. My mother and two daughters are doing their first 5k this weekend. They will all be walking it, but hey, there is nothing wrong with baby steps. Lol

Did I tell you that I got my first “hit” off my honk if you’re going to hit me t-shirt last week? I wear it for my long runs. Some guy came up behind me and started honking. I was bracing myself for impact. Turns out the guy only wanted directions. Talking about that, I did end up seeing the black cat out on the road again that just missed getting smacked by a truck last week. This time he ran out in front of a bicyclist. I think that cat must enjoy the adrenaline rush. I wanted to tell him he was on the wrong path. Hmmm…

Dogs, part 2

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I have learned in the running world that dogs aren’t always your best friend. I have had multiple run ins with animals on the road. Last week I saw a fox for the first time. The week before I ran with a deer and almost saw a poor cat get hit by a truck. Thank God I never saw a bear or I would be griping about them instead. I used to run with my beagle up until last year. He is almost 8 and can no longer keep up with me. He runs with my husband instead. Last week I had to pick up my dog while running because he injured his paw. He howls and cries if we try to sneak out running without him. He loves it too. 

I used to run with my running partner and dog mainly on the back roads. Now I run on the busier roads because the people that live on those roads keep their dogs tied up. The first encounter happened with a Great Dane. The biggest dog I have ever seen. His head reached my chest and he was eyeing up my dog like he was a little house cat. I had a really big problem here because I couldn’t outrun my running partner. Thankfully the dog’s owner noticed he left the yard and got him before anyone was hurt. 

The second dog encounter involved a black lab. This dog seemed friendly enough. He frequently would chase us and bark a bit. No harm in that, right? Well one day he snuck up on us out of a brush filled ditch. We were running at a good pace when he startled us. This ambush caused my dog to run in front of me to avoid the other dog. I tripped over my dog and landed hard in the gravel. I gashed up my knee pretty bad. It was a long 2 miles home bleeding gravel out of my knee and hands from trying to catch myself. I have a scar on my knee as a reminder of my running days with my two “best friends”. 

I will be saying goodbye to my best friend and first running partner tonight as she is moving out of the state. I will miss our many adventures on and off the road. On to happier trails and new adventures. You will be greatly missed. 

Marathon training, week 7

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I didn’t feel like running 18 miles today, but I did it. I don’t feel like writing a blog today, but I am doing it. I had a good 3 hours to contemplate why I feel such a lack of motivation. Everyday is not a picnic and fireworks, although this time of year it probably should be. I think some of it has to do with my parents selling my grandma’s house at the end of this month. I am going to help clean out her house tonight. Even though grandma has been gone for over six years now, this seems like the final goodbye to my childhood comforter. Coincidentally, I just found out today that my longtime running partner and one of my best friends will be moving out of state the end of this month as well. 

I did decide over the past couple of days that after running the marathon I want to stay half marathon conditioned. I will probably throw in a couple of 18 mile runs in there to keep my foot in the marathon door. There are not a lot of opportunities in my climate to run marathons in the winter months. 

Fortune cookies

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Up until this week, a majority of my fortune cookies have said similar things. You will lead a mediocre, boring, uneventful, mundane life but you have music in your heart. My husband, Paul, gets fortune cookies that say you have a brilliant business mind, you will conquer the world, sunshine comes out of your….. Well, you get the picture. Who writes these things? Did you ever get the the same fortune twice? I haven’t. I am not a superstitious person, however as a teen I cracked open a fortune cookie and nothing was inside at all. I was worried. What did it mean? Did the fortune cookie writer have writer’s block? Someone said I was very fortunate because it was rare not to get a fortune. I wore every seat belt I could find on my way home that day. 

This week I opened a great fortune cookie. It was so great that I almost automatically handed it over to my husband thinking it was for him until I saw the learn Chinese word on the bottom. The learn Chinese word was run. Since I am training for a marathon, this one seemed to have my name written on it. Here is what it said: The luck that is ordained for you will be coveted by others. I sure could use a little luck. I will be spending the holiday weekend up north with my entire side of the family. Plus my in-laws will be stopping by. Yikes!

Glory days

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Earlier this week I took my middle child out with some friends for his 15th birthday. As I was paying for them to get in, the woman behind the counter asked if any of the boys were over 18. Over 18?!?  I know some of the boys are sprouting mustaches, but still! Honestly, that made me feel a little old. A few minutes later the song Glory Days came on the radio while I was watching the boys do flips off the high dive. This ignited a thought in the blogging lobe of my brain. These are my glory days right now. Hey, who said that middle age can’t be the new adolescence? 

When I was in middle school, I tried out for cheerleading. I was the only girl that didn’t make it. The high school choir director was the middle school cheerleading coach. For some reason, she never liked me. Tryouts were on an evening that I was sick, no exceptions. So I had to come in to tryouts with a fever. Right now I could save face and blame the failure on the fever, but I sucked. Then I was homeschooled between 8th and 10th grade. When I came back to high school as a junior, I was far behind in sports. But sports was never my passion at the time, music was. 

What I really wanted to do was join jazz choir. I didn’t even audition. Despite having a three octave range, I lacked confidence. The choir director cut my solo for solo and ensemble saying it wasn’t good enough. But maybe she wasn’t a good enough teacher to make this song bird sing. While I was homeschooled, I wrote my own music and sang it on the piano. I could hear a song and be able to pound it out on the piano and sing it as well. My dad yelled at me though, saying I was making a horrible racket. I wanted to join the choir in college, but feared I wasn’t good enough and never tried out. At my last high school reunion after rocking the karaoke machine a spouse of a classmate said I must have been a star in choir. I am so glad that my oldest daughter is a three octave choir star. I don’t want to live it through her, I want to still be able to live it myself. 

In college, I commuted to school while living at home about half of my college years. Mom still needed my help raising my brothers. I also became a caregiver for two other disabled people. No new sense of freedom or keg parties for me. Now my children are almost raised and I have a new sense of freedom that I never had before. I am going to make up for the lost time. I love running and decided that I am going to run a marathon. Things are going great, they really are. I figure that I have about a ten year span to finally have my glory days. I am a few days from my 41st birthday. I am not sure I can keep up this marathon pace forever. I am at a major crossroad here. Should I keep myself in marathon condition after the marathon next month or cut back to a half marathon pace? Will my body burn out faster at an extreme level or will I be able to have a longer “run” overall if I cut back the stress on my body? Something to think about on my run today. After today I will have a total of 33 miles in for the week and I feel better than I ever felt in my whole life. 

The morning after the 24 mile run

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Good news, I’m still alive and can walk after yesterday’s first 24 mile run. My toenails are all intact. How do I feel? Tired! My body’s alert system is going off. Sirens blaring, something is wrong. Beep, beep, beep. It took me three hours to fall asleep last night equaling about four hours of sleep. I have been struggling with insomnia for over a week now. I was a little nervous that I wouldn’t be able to walk today. I am throwing my son a birthday party sleepover tonight and taking them to the beach this afternoon. I want to swim and play in the water with the kids. My son is 15 though and would probably be happier if I just dropped them off. Not going to happen!

I also haven’t had much of an appetite. Is this normal?? I burned off around 3000 calories, ate about 500 calories yesterday which puts me about 4000 calories in the hole. I can feel the definition of my rib cage, my bones poking me at night. I weighed in at 123 lbs this morning. I am 5’7″. I really don’t want to dip below 120 lbs. With the 4th of July coming up this weekend maybe I am worrying for nothing. I will probably pig out just like everyone else. 

Have a good day! See you tomorrow.