Birthday

Competing against the clock

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My birthday is coming up in a few days. To celebrate, I am going to do my first Half Ironman. It just sounds so wrong. Maybe what people say about me is true…overachiever…workaholic..

Would I have more fun sitting on the couch watching a Netflix marathon instead of doing an actual marathon? Probably not!

I really don’t like the taper week. When you are used to working out an hour or three at a time it is physically hard to take it easy. I have to push myself to sit still. My mind is restless and my body is antsy. I want to run off the nervousness inside.

Last night I had my first pre-race nightmare that something was wrong with my bike. The seat was too low and I couldn’t adjust it. I had to bike through crowds of people, but couldn’t seem to make the pedals work right.

To tell you the truth, I am terrified of doing the Half Iron. More terrified than turning another year older. I feel like I am racing against time. I am not competing against you, nor me. I am competing against the clock.

I talked to some others over the past few weeks…I used to run marathons when I was young like you..That implies that someday this will all end.

The sands of time slip through my fingers… I never thought that I would be old. I never thought my kids would grow up. I always pictured us stuck in time at the perfect age. The age when we first met and fell in love. The age when our kids were little and had full confidence that we had all the answers.

It is horrifying to let go. My son got his motorcycle license yesterday. My daughter left for college last year and said that this is her last summer she plans on coming home. They are doing adult things like holding down a job.

When the terror sets in about what I am about to do…a Half Iron…I think back on all that I have already accomplished…3 marathons…WOW. If I fail miserably, I still have accomplished more than most people I know.

When I start feeling the horror of my lack of control as a parent, I have to remind myself that I have teens that are growing up to be wonderful responsible young adults.

As I turn another year older, I think about how much I’ve learned and how much more life is in front of me. If I look back to where I came from, it is pretty amazing that I got this far.

California wine country

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california-2016-100

It was finally time for Paul’s birthday surprise…

We had a total of 5 hours from our conference hotel check out until our check in at the South Coast Winery Resort and Spa. It took an hour and a half to drive through the desert, back through the mountains to get there. We were looking to kill some time, which doesn’t happen often.

It was rainy when we left the desert. We made a couple of stops through the mountains to take pictures of the contrast between the sunshine when we arrived to the clouds and mist on our way out. We stopped for lunch at an authentic Mexican restaurant which was more like a fast food joint, nothing to really write about. We were hoping to check out some unique shops, but there was nothing to see. There were a few ranches with blocked off driveways and even more run down trailer homes. We ran into some rain and patches of fog, but ended up getting to the resort early. Very early..

As we got closer to our destination, the rolling mountains turned into sunny vineyards. There were billboards announcing that we were entering wine country. Then we started passing wineries. It was hard to keep our destination a surprise much longer.

Paul’s drink of choice is wine, the drier the better. My drink of choice is craft beer. I’ve heard that we have things switched around a bit…the guy is supposed to drink beer and the girl is supposed to drink wine in the relationship. We never have been much for social norms… So a birthday surprise had to include a trip to wine country.

As I mentioned, we arrived early. Quite a few hours early to be exact. We went to check in expecting to be turned away. Instead, we were very warmly welcomed. Paul was given a bottle of wine for his birthday and a free room upgrade. We were moved from the main hotel to a villa that had a fireplace and Jacuzzi. The customer service there was top notch. I kind of wanted to sneak the lady home in my suitcase and have her work for us.

After checking in, we headed down to the winery for tasting. It cost $18 for 5 tastes. We went twice over our time there and were waited on by Danny. Again, excellent customer service. He was wonderful. Some of my favorite wines were California Girl and the 2014 Riesling. Typically, at home, we do not have to pay to taste wine. In between samplings we are given crackers to cleanse our palette. It wasn’t that way here at all. We were given generous portions though and I felt a little tipsy afterwards.

The following two evenings, we ate supper in the winery’s restaurant. It was rather pricey, however comparable to a fine dining establishment at home. They had specialty foods such as lamb and calamari with unique sauces. The first night I ordered a pasta dish. Even though the portions weren’t huge, I couldn’t eat it all. My acid reflux went wild while on vacation, probably due to stress of traveling and eating different foods. Immediately the head chef came over and asked me if I was satisfied with my food. It was the second day that they used their new menu and they were very concerned that I was not happy since I did not eat all of it. I might’ve been the first person that they tested it out on, but I did like it and couldn’t offer any negative feedback.

The next day, Paul and I tried to get into a tour of the winery but they didn’t have any opening that didn’t conflict with our plans to go to the spa. Paul and I both got massages. It was rather pricey compared to at home. The massage was good, except that my stomach was still upset and I had to pee half way through which was bothersome.

Afterwards, Paul and I hung out at the pool. We sat down between a couple with two adults daughters, one being in a wheelchair. On the other side of us was a large group of young, rather intoxicated, women celebrating an upcoming wedding.

It was at this time that I became aware that Arabella and my mom were arguing. Seeing a woman with her disabled sister brought back memories for me. I think that since I had to give up a great big chunk of my childhood to take care of my disabled brother that my mother owes me a few days to get away stress free. Maybe I shouldn’t feel that way, but that is how I honestly feel. I want my mom to lie to me and tell me that everything is great even if it is not. I had to get involved and try to fix things which made things worse. Then the worry set in. Why is it so hard to relax?

I overheard the young women next to me complain about their grandmas. I felt some irritation at their drunk banter. Oh, how I longed for my grandma to be alive again. Then Paul and I went to the hot tub full of the wedding party girls. They actually thanked us for putting up with them. Apparently some of the other pool patrons weren’t quite as tolerant. We told them we were from Wisconsin. We didn’t know better.

Once the girls found out that we were married for 19 years, they started asking for advice. There were a couple newlyweds, the rest were single and looking for the secrets of marriage longevity. Paul said that he really had no idea at all what he was doing, we just adjust and make things work. Neither of us grew up seeing what a healthy marriage was like. Then I left Paul in the hot tub with a dozen bikini clad women that were half my age. I wanted to shower and get my items out of the spa before it closed. Someone asked why I would leave my husband alone in the hot tub with all of those young women. I replied, “Why stop trusting him now after being together over 20 years?”

I headed back to the spa to shower. I heard the mother of the woman in the wheelchair struggle to shower her daughter in the small stall next to me. It seemed like an overwhelming ordeal and I felt compassion for them. But they did not let her disability get in the way of her swimming and having fun with family even though it was difficult. I zipped in and out of there before they even finished showering.

We had a great time at the winery. We found the room to be very affordable. However, we ended up spending more money on other amenities such as the spa, eating there, and then of course there was the wine…

Sailing empty beaches with a dose of sibling warfare

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Yesterday we were able to check sailing off of an acquaintance’s bucket list for his 50th birthday. It was a hot day in WI. We were asked earlier this month by his wife to surprise him with a sail. In the morning, we were able to sail into town for some lunch and live music. The winds were light, but that meant we didn’t do a lot of heeling which sometimes freaks out the newbies. 

After lunch we sailed to the beach. We spent several hours swimming. The beach that is boat to boat on the weekends was practically deserted. The photo that I took doesn’t do it justice. We had a bit of an issue. I tossed Paul his hat, wine glass, and the bottle of wine. Except he didn’t catch it all. The bottle sunk to the bottom, we saw a few bubbles and then it was gone. Who would’ve guessed? I was thinking of the floating message in the bottle.  Paul did end up stepping on the bottle later so I didn’t get in too much trouble. Lol. 

My friend and I gossiped about our mutual friend Cori. She is the one that got first place last weekend on the half in our age group while I took second. She beat my time by 10 minutes. My friend told me that Cori works out almost 30 hours per week. I thought that my 5 hours were a lot. She works out as much as I work! It just bothered me that she can stay up all night partying and whip me. Did I tell you that she smokes too?? Geez, I shouldn’t be such a crab because she always has been helpful giving me pointers even though I am technically competition. Albeit, not that much. When I heard how much she works out, she can have that first. Someday when I am independently wealthy I will work out more, but not that much! 

Anyway, after having an absolutely gorgeous day sailing, the other couple took us out to eat for their gratitude. They have been wanting to sail for a very long time and almost went for a weekend almost a decade ago. They had everything planned then found out that their hosts wanted to take them for the weekend without clothes. Good thing they didn’t put any money down for that trip!

Paul and I almost slept out on the hook for the first time this week. It was a hot, sunny, wind free evening when we left home. When we got to the marina it was cool, cloudy, and windy. We anchored at the beach in 3 to 4 foot waves and strong winds. Paul was afraid that the anchor would let loose and crash us into shore. That was the end of that idea. Maybe next week…

When we got home last night, I received a call from my son saying that the car wouldn’t start. Angel and I went out to get him last night around 10 PM. After the great day of sailing, it seemed like I was in another world. Back to reality! The car needed towing. On the ride back home, Alex and Angel fought something vicious. Alex got out of the car and started walking the 15 miles home. By the time I straightened things out and we all got home it was after 11:30PM. Seems like there are a lot more fireworks in fights when siblings are teens. And to think I thought I would be able to come home and go to bed after sailing!

Sometimes you just have to take the good with the bad. One thing is for sure…my life is always an adventure!

Eye blinks

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I took the day off of work and spent half of it at the mall. 

It is out of character for me. I HATE shopping! I hate spending money. Mall clothes are absolutely boring. 

I, myself, prefer the 60’s bohemian style of attire. Flowers galore, even in my hair. Long flowing dresses. Gaudy rings. I would even have a hippie van if I could with lava lamps and beaded curtains. I decorate my house with floral patterns but don’t have what it takes to make a flower grow.

Or I prefer the punk look. Edgy, studs on my pants, dark eye shadow, lots of earings. Band t-shirts, jeans that are ripped. 

But mainly I wear athletic clothes. 

I am very picky about the clothes I buy, especially clothes shopping in the mall. Racks of clothes with nothing exciting to wear. But today that is where I ended up. I bought a deck of Pink Floyd playing cards and a floral hair band for myself. The rest of the items in my cart belonged to Angel.

My daughter Angel turned 18 today. I am now the parent of an adult child. Every time I think of that for some reason I think of AA. Crazy how my mind works…

We awoke this morning to storms with strong winds that brought area trees down. It was nothing like the sunny day that I gave birth to my first child. I closed my eyes for a brief moment, when I opened them she was gone. Eye blinks! I tell sleepless parents of newborns that they grow up fast. I never thought that I would be like one of those parents. I never imagined this day would come so fast when I held my little baby in my arms for the first time 18 years ago.

Angel, my mom, and I went to the spa this morning. The distant thunder relaxed me more than the soothing music did. Then we went out to eat. Afterwards, we went to the mall to start buying Angel some items for college. Shopping is so boring that it tries my patience. After awhile I just wanted to run out of there screaming. There is so much to see, my senses overwhelm me. I felt tired and needed to rest. I have more energy running a marathon than I do for shopping. Okay, okay…Half marathon.. Let’s just say that I have a low tolerance for malls. 

I really wish there was such a thing as a blog when my kids were really little. Maybe I could’ve vented about potty training or temper tantrums. I always told myself that I would keep up with writing a diary all through my kids early years, but I only wrote an entry or two total. There never seemed to be enough hours in the day. A lot of the day to day memories are gone already. Forgotten.

With that being said, I have decided to write a very short series entitled 911, poison control, and other parenting mishaps to write about the most comical things that have happened over the years. Not only will it be funny, but I will be able to write the stories down to remember forever. 

Happy 18th birthday to my adult child, Angel! I am excited to see what the future holds as she holds the pen to write the very first chapter of her adult life. 

XOXXO

On turning 21 again

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Today is my birthday. I turned 21 times 2. But I still think that I am 21. I started my day off having coffee in the hot tub. It was a cool morning. 

Then I went for a 12 mile run.  Seriously, who needs birthday spankings??!? I wore my shirt that says ‘I run because punching people is frowned upon” just because I like that shirt.  

  

Then I spent the afternoon at work.

  

After work I came home and played the yard game Kubb with the kids. It involves knocking down blocks with sticks. It was fun until I asked the kids to clean up. Then they tried to knock each other’s blocks off with sticks. It involved throwing blocks at each other, crying, slapping, and breaking things with a touch of swearing.  I was really hoping the kids wouldn’t fight for my birthday. Maybe next year… 

 

Paul had play practice tonight, so I went out to eat with the kids. I got my free birthday beer, Blu Bobber with blueberries in it.

I feel like I’m 21 again!

Birthday blues

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Tomorrow is my birthday.

What do I want? Something that can’t be bought in a store.

I want a day of peace and tranquility. Just one day that is problem free. I want an escape from my normal routine.

Every day is the same. I start a couple loads of laundry before heading off to work. I deal with problems at work. Then I deal with problems at home. Sometimes simultaneously. After I make supper, clean the kitchen, and fold laundry I finally get to go to bed. I wake up and do it all over again the next day. Although I enjoy working and keeping busy, sometimes adulting can be monotonous and the responsibility burdensome.

I have to work tomorrow. After work, the kids want to do something with me. All I want from them is peace. I don’t want to hear any fighting. Even when we play games, they constantly tease each other by calling names or saying that their siblings suck. They say that it is all in jest, but I don’t find it very funny.

Paul has play practice on my birthday. I should’ve known to lower my expectations when he got the lead part in the summer play. He doesn’t have time for me anymore. I was hoping that he would go up north with me last weekend. When we got together with theater friends last week, he spontaneously offered to take them sailing this past weekend. So he did that instead. Then he asked me to crew for his race last night, but I was replaced by his theater friends. I was okay with that because I only wanted to be a sub. However, he has been sailing with a much younger single woman (not alone) from the theater that thinks he’s hot. I guess I would care more if she was attractive. I was hoping to sail with Paul for almost a week for our anniversary, but we cut it back to a weekend for play practice. I am getting really sick of it already.

I feel left out. I didn’t know all of the inside jokes. I am just an introvert who wants to feel included, but doesn’t want to go. I feel like no one cares about me. The kids really don’t need me much anymore. Sometimes I don’t really care about me either. I almost got hit by a car this morning while I was out riding my bike. The lady almost went through a stop sign. She slammed on her brakes last minute when she saw me. I didn’t get angry like I usually do. I didn’t really care. Hey, I’m still here!

Although my best friend Lisa moved home almost two months ago, we have only seen each other twice. I don’t feel like running with her. I would rather be alone.

When I was a kid, my mom made a very big deal out of my birthday. It was the one day of the year that my life wasn’t all about my autistic brother. I think because of that I have high expectations of how that day should go. Every year it seems harder and harder to get excited. My birthday always signifies the middle of summer. It is going by so quickly this year. I don’t want summer to end and I don’t want to get any older!

Tomorrow I will be 21 (doubled). Gulp! Ready or not, here I come.

Ready to call it a day…

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It has been a long day…

Paul and I awoke this morning at 6 AM by the jarring ring of his cell phone. His busybody cousin was calling early to tell him that she thought his mother needed more home care. His mother has been in and out of the hospital over the past month with terminal cancer. Martha insisted that she didn’t need home care. His cousin who is a CNA that acts like a doctor said that Martha was lying. Then she started accusing Paul for not being there more. This is a cousin that we have not seen for about 15 years. She swooped in out of nowhere and started taking charge. Paul suggested that if she has a problem with Martha’s care, then she should talk to Martha’s husband Darryl. 

It really wasn’t the best start this morning. Paul felt so offended by his cousin. It is always so terrifying to have a late night or early morning call when you have a dying parent. Who does that?? 

Then I scrambled to work for a half day to find out that the employee that would be covering for me in the afternoon couldn’t make it in because her brother-in-law had a heart attack. Oh, and she told me that she had to take my birthday off for a doctor appointment after I already made plans. So I had to cancel my birthday plans. 

At this point, I am feeling stressed and angry. Not a good morning at all.

I took the afternoon off of work to take my son in for his driving test. We spent a couple of hours before the test having a “crash” course on driving. He only got honked at once. Then he went in and passed the test. Afterwards, he started asking if he could borrow the car for the weekend to hang out with his friends. So now this starts?? I’ve accepted the fact that I am not his number one hang buddy. He is finally starting to talk to me more. Last night he even hung out with me and played his favorite rap songs. I can’t say that I approved of all the lyrics. But he wanted to hang out with me, so I tolerated it. Pathetic, I know. Wait until you have a teenage son that never comes out of his room. I did get a few new running songs though.

Then this evening I have plans to organize Angel’s graduation party. It is only a few weeks away and I have no idea what I am doing. I am not a crafty mom at all. 

I am ready to call it a day already!

A piece of cake…(or not)

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I thought I was feeling better…

Last night Arabella had her 13th birthday sleepover. Yesterday was also the third day of my stomach ailment. I was feeling better with no problems after eating a bland diet for over a day. I was symptom free. I was finally hungry. I thought I could handle one slice of stuffed crust pepperoni pizza and a small piece of ice cream cake. Boy was I wrong.

The party itself did not go totally as planned. There were a couple of girls that were upset that they weren’t invited, but I had to set a limit. I am not that much of a saint, or martyr, for that matter. I even allowed the girls to sit out in my hot tub without me (a first). It was a cool night that produced a few snow flurries in our area. 

The girls really enjoyed the hot tub. In fact, almost all of them wanted to stay in it after Arabella wanted to get out. This, and a few other little things, caused some hard feelings. “Nobody wants to do what I want and it is my birthday party” kind of feelings. Arabella became angry and spent some time alone in her room after yelling at her friends. 

The kids came in with wet towels and suits which got water all over the bathroom floor. That wasn’t a big deal except for the fact that one of the girls slipped on the bathroom floor, fell backwards, and hit her head on the sink. Great, concussion watch! I specifically told them no stitches since that is precisely what happened at Angel’s 13th birthday sleepover. Should have added no concussions or broken bones. Besides a few cuts, scratches, and a big bump on her head, she was fine.

I kicked Paul out of the house to spend the weekend with his mom who has terminal cancer and his step-dad. He doesn’t have the patience for all of the noise and excitement. Alex left too to stay overnight at a friend’s house. Angel and I ran the party. After Arabella yelled at her friends, she was so upset that she wanted all of her friends to go home. Angel and I told her that she needed to apologize and get along with her friends. Eventually she did and I thought that at midnight I could finally go to bed. Wrong again!!

Right after midnight, I got sick again. Too much rich food after being sick. I spent the next 2 hours sick. In fact, I was the one that stayed up the latest at the sleepover without any acknowledgement. After that, I was up sick every couple of hours. When I got up at 6:30 AM, I was dismayed to find a couple of the girls awake! Screw it, I had to go back to bed for awhile. I woke up at 8:00 AM to strange noises in the kitchen. Half of the girls were eating a concoction that contained sugar, brown sugar, and hot chocolate with milk poured over it. Gross! 

I thought most of the kids would sleep in until 10 just like Angel’s sleepover. Wrong, wrong, wrong!!!! I had planned on having them roll out of bed around 10 with a large brunch waiting for them of scrambled eggs, bacon, hash browns, and English muffins. 

Then we would be off for an afternoon excursion at a swimming pool 20 minutes away. The plan was that I would swim laps at the pool while they had fun. I have my first triathlon planned without a lot of time spent swimming yet. C’mon, there was snow this morning. Do you think I am going to jump into open water and start swimming?!? Okay, I’ll be the first to admit that sometimes my expectations are too high. Okay, okay! Quite often. Okay, more like all of the time. 

Maybe someday I should write about what I expect followed by what really happened. That actually might be interesting. And I thought that my expectations were realistic!! You know, kind of like that one time when I ran my first marathon. I thought that I might qualify for the Boston instead of barely finishing. This reality check is starting to make me crabby…now back to the story..

So I made this huge breakfast and salivated the whole time watching them eat while I was eating my bland diet. Oh sure, by that time my stomach was feeling just fine. However, I was dead tired from being up half the night because of it. After I cleaned the kitchen and threw in 3 loads of laundry, Angel and I took 2 cars to take the girls to the pool. We couldn’t fit everyone into one vehicle. The rest of the afternoon was pretty uneventful. After the girls went home late this afternoon, I had to crash.

Yeah, I am ready to run a marathon next weekend. After this weekend, it should be a piece of cake (or not). Seriously, what can be more difficult than having 3 teenagers in the house?? Hmmm..

  

Sick pranks

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Finally, I am feeling a lot better! Not 100%, but my fever is gone. I am almost ready to host a house full of 13 year old giggly girls. The house has been cleaned and sanitized. I haven’t had a stomach ailment like this since I was 6 months pregnant with Angel. I remember spending the night in the bathroom curled up on the linoleum. Before that, I was really sick with food poisoning the day that Paul and I had dinner plans to announce our engagement to our parents. I’m sure this time you will easily forgive me for not being very descriptive in my writing about this. Lol. It was bad enough that I lost 6 pounds in two days. 

Of course, just because I spent a couple days sick doesn’t mean that my stories end. In fact it was quite the opposite. The day I got sick, Angel received a text from someone posing to be my son’s drug dealer. It seemed like Angel intercepted the message in error. It had drop off points and pick up times for a rather large amount of drugs. She texted me a screen shot and I went ballistic. Paul came home briefly for lunch and then had back to back meetings scheduled for the rest of the day. We spent a good chunk of that time troubleshooting the situation. Do we call the authorities? Who was texting these things? Was it true? Then how did they end up texting Angel instead of Alex? What the hell were we going to do? Could our son be a drug addict or dealer? 

It was all a very horrifying experience to deal with for several hours while sick with a fever. It was decided that I would have some sort of intervention with my son alone when he got home from school. Paul couldn’t cancel out of his work meetings last minute. After two hours of sheer agony over this, Angel called and told us that it was just a “friend” playing a prank on her. Apparently her “friend” borrowed another girl’s phone to prank Angel because she thought it would be funny. The girl whose phone was borrowed had a guilty conscience and confessed the situation to Angel. Guess what?? I didn’t find the whole situation funny. I am so angry about it that I never want to see that girl again unless it is to apologize to me. 

I told Angel if she gets anymore prank or harassing calls this year that I am changing her number. First, the guy that was stalking her, then some unknown person posing as a friend, and now this. 

How could someone think that something like this could be funny?? 

That is what I call a sick prank!  

A few good things did come out of it though. First of all, the allegations against my son were not true. Thank God! You don’t know how relieved I am about that. I was thinking such horrible things about him. Nothing about that was right. Second of all, my kids are not afraid to come to us with problems. We generally know what is going on in their lives. Once Angel told her “friends” how upset we were about their prank, they felt really bad just like they should. So in the end, maybe the prank was on them. Sure makes them look like idiots!

Snow slumber

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I am still sick. I still have a fever. I spent most of the day sleeping. Tomorrow Arabella is having a sleepover for her 13th birthday. The house is trashed. The laundry is piling up. I haven’t showered in 2 days. But I don’t want to cancel the party if I don’t have to. I am feeling better than I was yesterday. 

To tell you the truth, what parent wants to have a sleepover with tons of teenagers in the house?? Crazy! 

Angel had a 13th birthday sleepover. It didn’t go well. I should have learned my lesson after the first party. Angel’s friend had to leave after the first hour for stitches. But Angel had a party, so Arabella is having one too.

Angel and her friends did some pretty crazy things as well. They played truth and dare which resulted in several bras being dipped in the toilet and placed in the freezer. HHmmm, okay, I will have to remind her of that when she calls her sister immature. Lol. They also ran around outside in the middle of the night. Arabella won’t even be able to do that because it is supposed to be cold with a mix of rain and snow. 

Snow in the middle of May!! Why!?!