**Please be advised that this post contains adult content**
Ah, Denver…I really had a love hate relationship with this city. Paul and I attended a conference in downtown Denver a little over a year ago. We arrived in town on a Friday evening a few days before our conference began. After checking into our hotel, the first thing that we wanted to do was get something to eat. I was really looking forward to trying new craft beers and reacquainting myself with some of my favorite Colorado beers. The two beers pictured above are some of my favorites from breweries in CO. We were in CO in October, so I was really excited about having the Pumpkick beer since it is a seasonal beer that is hit or miss to find at home. But no such luck. I was very disappointed in their beer selection and the food in the city was nothing to write home about either. But I guess nowadays they specialize in other things…
Our first experience in the city happened while we were sitting in the restaurant. A man came over to the window and peered at me from outside. He smiled and waved excitedly at me. He was a nice looking man with shoulder length brown hair. I smiled and gave him a small hesitant wave back. Then he held up a sign that read smile if you masterbate. Gross! I think I threw up in my mouth a little bit. Once he saw my expression from reading the sign, he laughed disturbingly reminding me of Jack Nicholson in The Shining or One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. Not the greatest first impression for a first time visitor.
After supper, we walked a couple of blocks down to a historical Methodist church where we bought tickets for a pipe organ concert. The people selling tickets seemed surprised that their online marketing worked when I explained I found out about the concert online and that we just got off the plane and walked over. Paul and I were the youngest ones there. The concert itself was magnificent. I jumped out of my seat a little when The Phantom of the Opera was playing. My favorite instrument is the pipe organ which makes going to concerts anywhere a little challenging.
The following day there was a Zombie Crawl downtown. This is another event that I knew about but wanted to view as an outsider. It was really awesome going downtown in the morning seeing everyone dressed up for the occasion. They even had a 5k. It was rather sad that I saw runners having to stop for traffic lights. Personally, I would be upset if I had to lose so much on my running time. At home, they shut down streets but leave the traffic lights running. I would’ve probably ran out in front of traffic in CO. It was probably a good idea that I did not run this race. The race participants didn’t seem to mind though. They seemed to be having fun. We stopped in a couple of shops and took a stroll down to the park.
I feel like I should have been wearing the outfit above while at the park. The park was very reminiscent of what I would imagine the 1960’s was like. Young college students were sitting around in a circle on the grass. Lol.
I had to have a picture with the above sign as well. As I have said before, I don’t exercise while on vacation. That is a total lie. We walked all over the place. I was stupid enough to just bring dress shoes and sandals. Sunday we walked down to the Museum of Miniature Toys. It was a lovely little place. What really interested me was the old doll houses. They had some of the old toys that Paul and I played with as kids. What a fascinating trip down memory lane. Walking several miles there and back in sandals was a bad idea though. Note to self, bring athletic shoes next time. On a side note, I did wear in my new running shoes in Orlando. That was not a good idea either.
Unfortunately, Paul and I both got arrested at the zombie fest. Uh oh.
The zombie fest was downright exciting. People roamed around the streets in torn clothes dripping in fake blood. There was a guy full of blood laying down in the street. I am still not sure if that was real or not come to think of it. It was one big street party. They had all kinds of things to see in the streets such as caricature drawing. People crawled around the streets dressed like zombies. I felt like I was part of the Walking Dead cast. My favorite part was the large truck that had huge speakers playing dub step music. Paul and I had a great time dancing until somebody started squirting fake blood into the crowd.
Then our friends started arriving for the conference. A large group of conference goers wanted to check out the pot dispensary. We went to a place by the mall. It was very strange. To get in they scanned your driver’s license like you would a credit card. It was almost like a museum in there with tons of info about everything you would want to know and then some about different varieties and strains. What I thought was interesting was a young man in his 20’s obviously with his baby boomer parents excitedly taking pictures together. Kind of like a parent child bonding session. What a strange world we live in!
Joe also talked a group of people into going to one of the scariest haunted houses in the country. I am not into haunted houses that much, but I thought what the heck. We ended up being the last tour group to go through. It took about a half an hour to go through the whole place. It was very scary touching on all of the key elements that people typically fear. Tight spaces, yes. Rickety old elevators, yes. Spiders, yes, yes, yes. One of the scariest things happened when we got out. The haunted house closed for the night and we didn’t have a ride back to our hotel. Now that was scary! The haunted house was in a dark warehouse type district. Not a place I would want to walk through at night. We ended up flagging down someone with an extended van to take us back.
Then the conference started. After the first full day, one of the vendors threw a huge party with a DJ and open bar. I mean completely open bar including top shelf. The party lasted 6 hours. By the end of the evening, people were dancing on the tables, spilling drinks, and breaking glass. After the party was over, we weren’t quite ready to call it a night. Joe suggested going to Coyote Ugly to make a bra donation. The clasp on the back of my bra broke earlier that morning, so it seemed like a good idea. I was going to throw it out anyway. When I got up on the bar at Coyote Ugly, I was a bit nervous. I was five feet off the ground on a small bar. I thought I might fall. She had me do a couple of squats then toss up my bra. It is probably hanging up there like a bat in a cave to this day. After I got down from the bar, Paul introduced me to our biggest competitor in our state. Hhhhmmm…
After that night, I earned the reputation as an attention seeking adventurous life of the party type which is funny because that is not the way I am at home.
I will always think of Denver as a drug city which has little to do with the legalization of MJ. I saw pills passed out on the street. I saw a man strung out on meth or something. He was muttering to himself and seemed to be very frightened by something only he could see. His body was contorted and twitching. It was the worst I have ever seen. Addiction is awful. I worried for his safety. Oh, his poor mother. There were a lot of young unkept able bodied men carrying signs of will work for pot, etc. I found it to be very disheartening.
We had a great time in Denver, but by the end of it all we were ready to go home.