- It’s the unofficial start of summer. Yeah! My favorite time of year in Wisconsin. Today the weather is perfect.
- We got Arabella TOTALLY moved out this past week. Her room is completely empty which was no small task. I really thought it would take weeks if not months to move all her stuff out, so I am grateful for that.
- I am going to make her bedroom into my office after summer is over. Her carpet is shot, so I am planning on ripping out the carpeting and painting the walls. I’ll put my desk in there and buy a futon couch if we have extra overnight guests.
- There are little kids in Arabella’s apartment building. One little boy, probably 3 or 4 asked if I was the landlord. When I said I wasn’t, he asked what I was doing there. I told him I was moving my daughter in. He had a really concerned look on his face when he asked me who was going to take care of her. What a sweetheart! Made my day.
- Paul and I signed up to do some volunteer work to help families in our community. I’m grateful for the opportunity to help others in need.
- Arabella found a new waitressing job!
- I spent the day Friday going out to eat and shopping with my best friend.
- Angel and Dan got their own cell phone plan. It’s hard to believe the wedding is 4 months away! It’s wonderful that my daughter is 100% independent from us now, has a great job, and is doing well. Plus I’ll save money on our phone plan.
- That being said, I upgraded to a new cell phone from an iPhone 8. I’m still saving money on our plan.
- I started getting WP notifications on my new phone. It’s probably been about a year since I received the last notification.
- We wanted to continue with our landscaping project. However, the quote for the little section we wanted done was $4,000. We decided to do it ourselves. Yesterday my son and some of his buddies removed the old landscaping rocks and took out some shrubs. It’s amazing to see the strength and energy of young men. I’m grateful we are still able to do the project at a fraction of the price.
- As tomorrow is Memorial Day, I’m grateful for the sacrifice of veterans who served and protected our country at all costs.
- I’m grateful for mid-week church services.
moving
More on meaningless tasks..
Perhaps I misspoke a couple days ago saying cleaning the house is a meaningless task. Sometimes it seems to be a waste of time for as much joy as I get out of it. Don’t get me wrong, I by nature veer closer to being a clean freak even more so coming from a family of hoarders.
I don’t like how clutter and messes make me feel. But I don’t necessarily like all the time I need to invest to keep the house as clean as I like.
I spent the last couple of days helping Angel clean her new house. When we sold our house a couple years back, we had the whole house repainted and the carpets professionally scrubbed. We updated the light fixtures. In today’s market, it is not necessary to even clean the house or update it in any way before trying to sell it. They bid over the asking price and waived the appraisal and inspection. All this because they were getting sick of people asking if they were going to continue to live separately with their parents after they got married. In all honesty, it’s what they had to do if they wanted a chance to get a house.
So the other night, I spent a couple hours cleaning the bathrooms at their house. It was disgusting. All I can say is that the lady must have had a long hair black dog she showered with. Everything was dingy and dirty. The sinks still had toothpaste in them. In fact, I was disheartened and overwhelmed when I first saw the house at how dirty it was and how much needed to be done before moving in.
It was then I realized cleaning is not a meaningless task. (I also realized I couldn’t clean other peoples homes for a living). Because if you don’t clean up after yourself, eventually someone else is going to have to do it or you have to do it and it will be horrible.
I also thought about my parent’s house. Some day we will have one hell of a time cleaning the place out. If they collectively spent one hour a week cleaning since they got married, I wouldn’t feel this overwhelming urge to light a match and walk away from it when they are gone.
At times it may feel like a waste of time to clean, but it will really help save time in the long run. It’s easier to maintain a fairly clean house than to dig yourself out later.
Too bad the house doesn’t clean itself. I thought we were supposed to have robots that do everything for us by now. The future I thought we would have as a kid is at times rather disappointing. Ahhhh, oh well. Time to go paint.
Gratitude week 59
- I’m grateful that the moving out process is pretty much done with our son. We moved him out on the coldest day so far this year, the coldest it’s been since two years ago. It felt really good to rearrange the bedrooms and create an office out of his room. Plus it gave me the opportunity to go through and get rid of stuff that I haven’t used in awhile.
- Right before we got the bitterly cold weather a week and a half ago, eight inches of snow fell. Because the cold temps came right after a massive snowfall, our side roads are all icy. My daughter Arabella got a popcorn shell caught in her newly emerging wisdom tooth that she couldn’t get out. The only time she could get in to the dentist was 7 AM. I told her she needed to preheat her car with the subzero temps but she didn’t because she was running short of time. This did not allow her enough time for her windshield to properly thaw out. She ended up clipping a mailbox before sliding into the ditch. She gained some experience driving on icy roads. I’m grateful that she didn’t get hurt and that her car is fine. I’m grateful that her driver’s ed instructor stopped to ask if she was okay. I couldn’t even make this crap up.
- I’m grateful to finish my travel series.
- I had a nice time shopping this week with my son for things he needed to move out.
- When I was in Hot Springs a diamond popped out of my wedding band. I took my ring in to get fixed under our insurance policy and they said the prong for my center diamond popped off as well. It will cost over $250 to fix. They suggested creating a new ring out of my existing ring as my old ring was very worn. Here’s to having a marriage that lasted longer than the wedding ring!
- I’m chilling next to a hot fire on a cold day. I’m grateful for fireplaces and hot tubs!
- I started a puzzle today. Here’s to sedentary winter hobbies!
- My mom is going in for her second COVID shot tomorrow. I’m grateful that I will be able to see her again soon.
- On this Valentine’s Day, my husband is working. I am grateful to have a loving husband who is willing to work hard for his family. When he gets home, I am making crab legs for supper. I’m grateful to spend the day at home and for the technology to catch church online.
- I know it sounds sappy, but this Valentine’s Day I am grateful for love and life. For this moment life is good and I will hold on to it as long as I can.
Pound away
My daughter wants to lose 100 lbs.
She blames me for her weight gain, and for part of it I blame myself. She was pretty settled into her life when everything changed. I told myself that she would be able to adapt since she is the one that likes change. Plus it was a positive change. Change for the better should be easier, right? To think I thought that the pets would have a harder time adjusting than the humans.
She always lived in the same small house up to that point. She went to the same school where she knew everyone since 4k. She had a group of friends that she fit in with. Plus we weren’t moving far away so she could still see them if she wanted to.
When we moved, everything changed. Arabella started her sophomore year at a new high school. I told myself that it is a nicer school and it is. Some of the kids from her old school decided to go to that school out of district. It’s a bigger, better, and richer school with more resources.
When I drop Arabella off at school, I would say that half of the cars in the student parking lot are nicer than mine. Of course, that probably doesn’t make it easier to fit in.
She doesn’t have as many friends as I hoped she would. She only had two friends over for an hour or two and only went to one friend’s house since school started. She hasn’t been invited to any sleepovers or birthday parties. Meanwhile, her old friends are having sleepovers that she wasn’t invited to.
Arabella eats when she is lonely and bored. She gained about 40 lbs since we moved less than a year ago.
She is right around my height and needs to lose 100 lbs to be right around my weight. I never knew what to do about it. I never had those kind of struggles. We don’t have a lot in common. Sometimes we don’t get along. It seems like we either get along great or don’t get along at all.
It’s really not fair, I have so much in common with my older two children. They never struggle with their weight. In fact, I think my oldest two children are too thin. I haven’t had to deal with this issue before.
It is frustrating because I just want to tell my daughter to stop binge eating junk food. But I know it won’t be that simple. It would be like her telling me not to worry when I am having a panic attack.
I just can’t relate. I’m the type that doesn’t eat much when stressed out. The last thing I want to do is give her a complex by saying the wrong thing. She is loved no matter what, I just want her to know that even if nothing changes.
Last night Arabella and I met with a coach for a weight loss program. What a racket that is! Since she is a minor, we have to get the doctor’s approval first. She wants to start with the most restrictive diet for her weight loss plan. It would involve cutting out dairy and fruits. I am all for it if she has the stamina for such a rigorous routine.
I really hope this works for her. But I think it will be a lifelong struggle. Right now she wants to go to school for culinary arts after high school. I just want her to be at a healthy weight. Right now she is not healthy. She is starting to have back pain. The heavier she gets, the harder it is for her to be active. As a runner and someone who places a high value on health, it is hard for me to watch her struggle.
I am happy that she has decided to take a step in the right direction and will do anything I can to help her achieve this goal. I have no doubt this is going to cost a lot. But it could cost even more not to do anything at this point.
Like a cactus in the sea
I’m not 100% unpacked yet, but I want to start getting back into the swing of things. I’ve made a lot of progress.
I am going to try to get back on a regular blogging schedule.
I even went for a run today for the first time in over 2 weeks!
So what if the house is not finished yet? I have a lifetime to unpack because I am never moving again!
I have so many things to tell you and they are piling up higher in my mind than the boxes in my garage. I never finished my whole fortune cookie thing and I’ve had some moral dilemmas that I wanted to run by you.
Moving has been a big adjustment…literally!
Our new house is 4 times the size of our old house.
The garage itself is 3 times the size of our old house.
You don’t know how many times I’ve set down my phone only to have to search a half an hour to find it. Over the weekend, I set down my beer and by the time I found it, it was warm. I won’t even tell you how long it takes to find my husband and kids. By the time I find them, I forgot why I was looking for them in the first place. There are still several things that are lost, but at least my son found his wallet.
My kids think that all of their friends should move in. I’ve had more people stay overnight in my house the one week that I’ve lived here then I’ve had for several years in the old house. Plus they leave things behind like clothing and broken phone cases. Maybe I should set up a lost and found box next to the pool. Oh, and they all left behind their swimming suits. But they used every single towel I have in the house.
My kids get upset that I don’t want to have people over every single day and night. Apparently that makes me a selfish person to want the house to myself (or just my family) every once in awhile.
My house has become like Hotel California. Once they come in, they never seem to be able to leave. We had friends over Sunday night. They had so much fun that they stayed until almost midnight on a work night. I ended up falling asleep on the couch.
Even the movers loved my house. They said it was the most beautiful house they have ever seen. They took pictures to show their significant others. They said they hope they win the lottery someday so they can afford a house like mine.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and guilty in a way which is probably why I didn’t tell a lot of people that I was moving. I feel bad being excited or talking about the new house in front of others. It makes me feel like I am talking on and on about how wonderful it is having 3 children when the person I’m talking to has been dealing with infertility for decades.
I wish I had what you have.
But they didn’t see the years, decades of struggling…the perseverance that we didn’t know if it would pay off…putting every penny and pouring everything we had into this business. They don’t know me. They don’t know that the first half of my life was a living hell.
They don’t see my husband as the boy that started out in the inner city of Chicago without a dad, born to a poor single teenage high school drop out. The boy that had a dream of starting a business…The boy from the projects that is now living in a mansion like some sort of celebrity rapper. How many others do you know with a similar story? I really don’t know of anyone else personally. But I do know it is possible.
So I watch as people I know and don’t know take pictures of my house to share with strangers.
Maybe you would like to see some pictures too. Sorry I didn’t ask. You could post the pictures on social media…show the kids, your neighbors, maybe even your cat.
Or maybe you don’t like me now. Maybe you view me as a greedy selfish rich bitch with a foo foo dog in my purse type.
Will it change me?
Maybe I’ll get used to it. I’m not sure how to respond or act.
Right now I feel like a cactus that has been thrown into the sea.
Getting settled
I didn’t drop off the edge of the earth as some of you may have suspected. I may have been tempted to jump off of a couple of cliffs, but I’m still here with my sanity partially intact.
I thought that I could just move into my new house and my life would continue as normal.
I would resume blogging. The internet fairy would automatically arrive and everything would just run smoothly.
I also thought that I would be able to run over the weekend. I haven’t run for a week and a half, probably a new record for me since I started running.
Today I was panicking. How will I be ready for a marathon next month?
I am never moving again, that is for sure.
I really misjudged how long it would take for us to get settled. I have been unpacking for 5 days and still have 20 full boxes in the garage and stuff to clean out of the old house. My son lost his wallet. I’m throwing my youngest daughter a birthday party tomorrow and couldn’t even find the measuring cups and stuff I needed to make a cake. It’s just crazy!!
I knew that it would be an adjustment, but I wasn’t expecting this.
Plus it has been super busy at work.
It kills me to leave work undone at home and at work.
My kids have been driving me utterly crazy. They are acting more as hindrances than helpers. They are spoiled brats and it is my own fault. I’ve done everything I could to make their life perfect, to give them everything that I’ve never had.
Moving has been a very big adjustment for all of us. And I thought that the dog and cat would have the hardest time with this..
I am planning on having a rummage sale this weekend. It’s amazing how much crap a person can accumulate when they live somewhere almost 20 years.
We have been working on getting our old house ready to put on the market.
I have so much to tell you!! But I feel guilty playing and having fun when there is work to be done. I have been pushing myself really hard because I can. I am crabby and irritable, but I get things done. I fail to take care of myself. I’ve been trying to run this marathon at a sprint speed and it really hasn’t been working out for me…but I have to tell myself that this clutter and disorganization is temporary. (Remember I am never moving again!!!!!).
I will try be back soon. I just wanted to let you know that all is well and I absolutely love my new house. I just need some time to unpack and settle in…
In 2 more days..
In two more days, my whole life is going to change..
We will be closing on our new house and moving in this weekend…
Yesterday we walked to the nearby cemetery one last time for the Memorial Day service. We saw a lot of people that we knew from the community. We ran into some friends of ours that recently bought a plot for themselves there.
Where do I want to be buried? What kind of headstone do I want? What do I want written on it? I couldn’t get myself to make any decisions in stone yet.
Our friend has leukemia, so the concern for her is a little more immediate. She talked in a matter of fact manner about death, cemetery plots, and updating her will. The last time she updated it, she was looking for guardians for her children. Now her youngest is living out of state, graduated from college, and is engaged.
I understand the feeling, but there are some things I refuse to think about yet. We just updated our will and passports. I removed my mother and listed my oldest daughter as the main contact/decision maker. Will my mother be living when I update my passport or will again? She will be 70 this year. It wasn’t easy to think about.
The last few months have been very extreme as far as beginnings and endings go. I have a hard time dealing with change, even if it is for the better.
Even the weather has been extreme. Can’t anything stay the same/normal??? Last month winter did not want to let go. We had record snowfalls last month before we got hit by the blizzard. This last weekend we broke the records for hottest Memorial Day weekend.
I felt a lot of anxiety and trepidation the end of last week. I feel better now. For awhile I had this really strong feeling that something bad was going to happen. Maybe it was from all of the change or loosening the reigns of control. Angel flew out to Boston with a group from her college for a competition. Alex took his tax return money and bought a motorcycle.
Alex spent most of the weekend hanging out with friends. He doesn’t want me micromanaging his life anymore. He doesn’t want me to wake him up in the morning or remind him about the things he has to do. I guess I can’t blame him. It took everything I had not to wake him up a couple weeks back when I had to leave the house before he would normally wake up for school.
This weekend I noticed that Alex was at some sort of pond when I tracked him on his phone at midnight. It took everything I had not to call and ask what he was doing or where he was. I have to let go and it is hard. He will be 18 next month. I had to ask myself…Is it really so bad that he is at a pond on a 90 degree day at midnight?? Self, just go to bed!
I feel a certain isolation now that my kids don’t need me as much anymore. I tell myself that it is finally time to focus on my own life now. So I went trail running this weekend to practice for the marathon. I hit the trails for 3 hours each two days in a row. Then I had to ask myself honestly…Why the hell did I choose this as my hobby?? I was miserable, tired, irritable, sore, hot with temps in the 90’s, and bit up by mosquitoes. I felt this way all the more when I heard about all the fun things everyone else was doing.
Besides running and packing all of my earthly possessions, I did have a little fun. I was able to go sailing for the first time this season. After my long run, we sailed to the beach. The water was ice cold, but it felt great on my aching legs. I refuse to complain about the heat though…bring it on!! I love it hot.
I wish I liked change. It would be nice to just let go and not worry so much. These transitions are hard for me.
Spring in my steps
I can’t believe that it will be May tomorrow.
We will be moving in one month. My cousin decided that she didn’t want to buy our house. Now we are working on the little repairs to get it ready to put on the market.
I have been very busy. I’m not sure how much time I will have to blog over the next couple of weeks. So not to worry if my patterns seem to change a little.
The snow has finally melted! Spring has finally arrived. I am hoping to run outside from here on out. I haven’t been able to get in a long run at all lately. The weekends have been busy with kid stuff and I can’t take off of work to do a long run during the week. I’ve been feeling so sluggish and slow when I do get the chance to run just short distances lately (5 or 6 miles).
I’m running my first trail marathon in two and a half months. I haven’t been out on the trails yet. I am hoping that they will be open within the next week or so. I’ve only been able to run outside 5 or 6 times this year. Wisconsin is a harsh climate for exercising. That and all the beer we drink and cheese we eat, it’s no wonder why we lead the nation in obesity.
I have a 4 month window for running outside in ideal conditions, with about 5 months where it is nearly impossible to run outside at all. Not to mention that a lot of people suffer from seasonal depression. I try to curb it by taking copious amounts of Vitamin D. It’s hard to stay active here without a gym membership and even harder to keep motivated to run to the gym.
The window for swimming is probably closer to 2 months. I’m thinking that we still have some patchy ice out on the lakes. I don’t think I feel comfortable doing a full Ironman without several months of swimming in open water. Swimming indoors and even outdoors did not come close to preparing me for the massive waves during the Half Ironman.
So, with marathon training, moving, and fixing up our house plus working and everything else going on…my time is going to be very limited over the next couple of weeks.
I’m planning on starting a new series though…I have a huge collection of fortune cookie wisdom to share and recycle before we move.
The wrath of Evelyn?
I wasn’t going to write about this, but maybe it’s a sign.
I am rather confused on how to read it.
Maybe it’s just a coincidence.
I’m not a very superstitious person.
Ah, who am I kidding?? I get all bent out of shape from a bad fortune wrapped in a crappy tasting cookie.
It started last week on the evening of the first snowstorm in April. We scheduled an appointment for our realtor to come out to get some pricing together on our house. A distant cousin of mine is interested in buying our house before we put it on the market.
The snowstorm prevented the realtor from coming out on the scheduled night.
I jokingly said to my husband that maybe we weren’t meant to sell the house to my cousin.
After the realtor came out, we scheduled a meeting with my cousin for this past weekend.
This past weekend we got hit by Blizzard Evelyn, the biggest snowstorm our area has seen in over 100 years.
Now Evelyn was my grandma’s sister and my distant cousin’s grandmother.
Another sign, perhaps?
I was fairly close to my Aunt Evelyn. When my kids were little, I often visited her with my grandma.
I felt like I had a lot in common with Evelyn. She was a thin wispy woman that always seemed to worry. Her house was always clean. She had a hard time sitting still. She loved visiting with the kids. Sometimes when we were ready to leave, she would open up the door to a side room with a waiting 10 course homemade meal. She was a lonely widow. How could we say no?
I miss my visits with my grandma and her sister. They have both been gone a long time now. I have remembrances of both around my house. My grandma helped plant the trees in my backyard and I have my aunt’s paintings on my walls. It was soothing to think that maybe a relative would buy our house and the memories of these sweet ladies would live on.
I always envied my cousin. She was the only child born to her parents after over a decade of infertility. She was a miracle baby, a beautiful princess. Her parents spoiled her rotten.
As a child, I wanted her life. I would’ve given anything to be her.
Looking back, I’m glad that my hardest years in life were my childhood. It gave me strength, made me tough, and built my character. If the best years of your life are your childhood, everything else is downhill. How can you be happy when you’ve had it so much better before?? But, of course, I want my children to have a great childhood unlike my own. What is disservice!
I don’t want my cousin’s life anymore. Maybe now she wants my life.
She got married and started a family a couple of years after I did. But, unlike me, she left her husband and children behind for another man. Her family was devastated. Since then several years passed. She is now living with a much older man who just left his wife of many years.
My cousin’s story is not all that much of a rarity anymore. Staying married for a long time to the same person is.
My grandma and her sister married young and stayed with their husbands until death. It seems easy, ideal actually, to have that one true love that you stay with through thick and thin.
No one I know really wants their children to marry young. Finish college first. Then be out on your own for awhile. I am guilty of wanting the same thing for my children. Yet we want them to find that one true love that they stay with for their whole entire life like our grandparents did. It’s not practical.
Last week, Paul and I ran into an acquaintance who told us she just got divorced after over 20 years of marriage. Right now I can think of only one other couple we are close friends with that are on their first marriage and have been married longer than us. That is sad.
Something is broken in our society and I don’t know how to fix it. The only thing I can do is be a good example of marriage.
But sometimes I feel like my marital bliss is smacking the faces of those who failed.
Ha ha, I finished the marathon but you dropped out of the 5K. Is that how they view us??
It’s hard to get good marriage advice. It’s just as tough as getting good parenting advice. Sometimes I feel like people are giving me marriage advice similar to parenting advice…they tell me how to raise toddlers when I have teenagers. I am beyond those years now. I want something meatier than just make time for each other or communication is important. I’ve searched, but haven’t found. Good luck, you’re off the charts now. After 20 years, how do you take it to the next level??
My cousin wants to move into my house to be closer to her children. How can that be a bad thing?
But then the biggest blizzard ever recorded in over 100 years hit the weekend we were supposed to show my cousin our house…BLIZZARD EVELYN!!
Is this some sort of sign?? Did we invoke the wrath of Evelyn?? Is someone else supposed to buy our house?
Evelyn, I don’t care if I sell my house to a bunch of satanists as long as I sell my house!! Okay, I may be exaggerating a bit. But weren’t you when you dumped all of that snow on us?
Now if we get another snowstorm this weekend when we rescheduled the visit with my cousin, I am really going to start worrying.
Maybe the whole thing is a coincidence, but it all seems rather bizarre.
Or maybe I’m reading it all wrong.
Maybe it’s a sign that we should move to Florida.
Moving on, part 3
We found the house we wanted to buy first. We’ve had an accepted offer since January. The house was listed for sale by owner. On our first walk through, we hit it off really well with the owners of the house. By the second walk through, the owners offered us a beer and we carried on like old friends.
The owner of the house built the house. Although the house was built in the early 80’s, it is in great shape because it got a lot of care. The couple is close to retirement age and are looking to downsize. They had the house on the market for awhile and it just didn’t sell. They listed the house for a second time on our 20th wedding anniversary. It was meant to be..
We have a closing date at the end of May because the current owner wants time to build another house to live in. We are buying the house almost totally furnished because we need the furniture and they won’t have room. It all works perfectly.
We haven’t listed our house for sale yet. Our realtor said that our house should sell within a week after it hits the market. We didn’t want to be stuck with nowhere to live.
This past week my husband was out ice fishing with an acquaintance (someone he didn’t tell that we are moving). Wait! What? Yes, I did say ice fishing! That is a whole different story. The weather has been crappy this spring in Wisconsin. The extended forecast is showing high temps right above freezing with no end in sight. It might even snow, but not enough to be able to do anything besides make the roads slippery. We haven’t had a day much over 50 degrees yet. Horrible! It is making even the sanist people a little stir crazy.
Anyway…the acquaintance just split up with his wife a couple months back and I found out that he is now living with my distant cousin. What?? She heard we are moving and wants to buy my house. Double what?? It was quite the shocker all around. I gave her a call last night and she is very interested. My house is in a great location and is in the price range that is flying off the market immediately.
It’s kind of funny. My grandma and her grandma were sisters. Her grandma was an artist and I have some of her paintings on my walls. I could simply leave some of the family heirlooms behind. Lol.
So we are scrambling with the realtor. She is coming over next week to give us an estimate on what our house is worth. Then we will take it from there..
Last night my husband came home from a meeting and said that someone else we know is interested in our house. What!!?! Maybe we’ll have a bidding war before the house is even put on the market. Wishful thinking!!
It is encouraging to know that our house should sell quickly.
Outrunning my demons 