- It’s the first day of spring! Personally I am not a big fan of spring as someone who has seasonal allergies. It’s also the time of year where we have a couple of nice days then get a snowstorm. But I am grateful for the longer hours of daylight, sunshine, and the anticipation of my favorite season summer. I think I even saw the first robin of the year yesterday.
- I’m grateful to get out and go for a walk on the couple of nice weather days we had.
- My second tattoo. It’s starting to heal nicely. My second tattoo was totally different from the first. This one was more painful. It’s also different not being able to see it. Looking in the mirror, it looks as if brilliant light is going into the prism and darkness is coming out. I would say that I like both tattoos equally though.
- Arabella came home from the hospital. They put her on some new medications that hopefully will help her. She is on 7 or 8 pills now which I am not excited about. But if it helps her…
- We celebrated St. Patrick’s Day by having an old friend over for lunch of grilled cheese and corned beef sandwiches on light rye bread. Our friend is Paul’s late best friend’s son. He is in the military and was visiting family in the area with his two little kids. He is a relatively recent widower whom we haven’t seen in over 10 years. We never got to meet his wife. I forgot how much energy little kids have. I’m not sure I am quite ready to be a grandparent yet.
- I am grateful the last two nights I went to concerts by a local Pink Floyd tribute band. They were awesome. The audience was totally pumped, partying like it was 1999. It’s been 3 years since they performed last and everyone was so excited. One night I went with Angel and Paul and the other night I went with Alex and Lexi.
- Friday night was a blustery evening and my son was on standby in case he had to work, so he ended up switching shows with his sister. I’m grateful for that because Friday night there was a pretty intense light show. I totally forgot that my son’s girlfriend Lexi has epilepsy. First I take her with us to the waterpark remembering she can’t swim as we are heading towards deep water in the wave pool. Then I take her to a concert that has a pretty intense light show when she has epilepsy. I swear I’m not trying to kill her off. The light show wasn’t as intense last night. I’m grateful we ended up switching shows for her unknowingly and she didn’t have a seizure.
- I started making TikTok videos this week and posting them. Angel said that both Paul and I regressed after she moved out. Paul is always on his video games and I am making cringy videos sure to embarrass my kids who oddly are liking them probably to make me feel better.
- Paul got some big projects done around the house. He, with the help of a friend, cut down a dead tree in our yard. He also replaced a showerhead that was spraying water everywhere.
- I’m also grateful for our friend Ted who is willing to help with projects.
tattoo
My 2nd tattoo
So, I did something today. I got my second tattoo. I decided to get The Dark Side of the Moon tattoo on my lower back. I’ve always been a big fan of Pink Floyd, but it is more than that to me. I like the idea of a prism, where you can take darkness and turn it into brilliant light. To me there is something mysterious, or mystical, in the process. The unknown, the unseen with a little mix of madness.
I want to take the darkness in my own life and turn it into something good. Music has always been a great coping mechanism of mine. Those are my thoughts about this new tattoo. Here is a picture.
This tattoo hurt more than the one on my upper arm. To get it I had to sit backwards on a chair. I was incredibly nervous about getting a tattoo. I thought I would have a hard time driving myself to the appointment, but all was well. Now I am already thinking about what I want to do next…
Goals for the new year
To be honest, I haven’t done New Year’s resolutions in years. But every couple of months I try to come up with some bucket list goals and check my progress on making them happen.
Today I decided to go back to my first blog post in May of 2015. I wrote a list of goals. Here they are:
- Write something that gets published. I’ve wanted to write a memoir for the longest time. I am currently working on the second edition of my book. I hope to complete it in 2022.
Run a marathon.I wrote I ran 18 miles that day without stopping. I am totally jealous of myself! Since then I’ve run multiple marathons and a 50K. I just stopped running after doing it for 15 years. Now I want to focus on stretching and yoga. I mean, I haven’t started yet but I want to try to at least maintain if not gain some flexibility. I have been having joint pain and stiffness but I still want to remain active as much as I am able to.- Travel to all the continents. I haven’t gotten too far on this. I did check off Asia since then. If it wasn’t for COVID, I would’ve checked off Europe and Africa too. Instead I have been trying to visit all 50 states. So far I’ve checked off 39 states. I visited 8 states in 2021 and plan on adding another 5 in 2022.
Read the Bible in a year.- Be a lead singer in a band. I still think this would be fun, but I don’t want to do this as much as I did before. It sounds like a lot of work.
Drink green beer on St. Patrick’s Day.That one was pretty easy.Get a tattoo.I got my first tattoo this year of an anchor. I am planning on getting my second tattoo in 2022.
I have some other new goals for 2022. I would like to be more bad ass. Ha ha ha. Actually I want to get my motorcycle license. I picture myself on something loud blaring my rock music as I drive down country roads on sunny summer days.
I would like to get half way done with the remodeling project on our garage apartment. I also have a list of home renovation projects. I would like to cross off half of my list this next year on house projects as well.
I also want to continue growing and working on my self-improvement projects. I want to be more accepting of myself as I age. I have always been a go, go, go person. It’s hard to adjust to being a go, go, go slow person. This coming year will be the first full year that all of my children are adults and out of school. I no longer have parenting commitments. I want some time to just be responsible for me. I want 5 years of not being responsible for others. I will not take on any long term foreign exchange students, foster children, or new pets. I will also keep working on the relationships that are important to me.
That’s about it. See ya next year!
Have a happy, happy new year!!!
Gratitude week 69
- I’m grateful that my tattoo healed nicely.
- I’m grateful that I can now swim again. I had to wait while my tattoo healed. So basically I did not exercise at all since my tattoo. The weather has been cool and crappy. It even snowed a little since last week so I didn’t want to run outside. Plus I was busy taking my mom to appointments. I’m hoping for a better weather week and finding the time to exercise.
- Breakfast with my BFF.
- A mother-daughter date with Angel to go thrifting. I didn’t find anything too terribly exciting but it was nice to get away.
- My brother Matt came over for the weekend. Although I stressed about it, things went better than expected. It was nice to take some time to myself so I don’t go absolutely crazy.
- For rides on the 4-wheeler with my husband while he does the spring clean up on the yard.
- That my daughter Arabella seems to be making a lot of progress in residential treatment.
- This is a big one…I’m grateful that I survived getting a crown this week with minimal pain. I had laughing gas for the first time. Can you believe that instead of laughing I cried? I’m grateful for a dentist and assistant that went out of their way to be compassionate towards my history of experiencing dental pain and trying to make me comfortable through the process.
- The things I was really stressing about this month, the tattoo and crown, are over. I’m grateful for the relief that I feel that the fear is behind me.
- I’m grateful that my mom, Paul, and I were able to play a game last night. Things have been incredibly stressful since my mom moved in so it was nice to have a break from the heaviness.
Gratitude week 67
- I’m grateful for a best friend who brought me a bouquet of flowers on Easter.
- I’m grateful that I didn’t chicken out and was able to cross getting a tattoo off my bucket list. This is something I was really anxious about. I was tempted to cancel the appointment. The tattoo artist was running late which also increased my anxiety. But it wasn’t all that painful. Going to the dentist for a cleaning is a lot worse. Maybe it was the release of endorphins, but the rest of the day I felt peaceful and calm, almost euphoric. The process didn’t take as long as I expected. My arm isn’t a big painful oozing pus open wound. To me it looks like I put on one of those sticker tattoos. I am in relatively no pain at all. A cartilage piercing was a lot more painful. So, the whole process went a lot better than I could’ve ever expected.
- I’m grateful that my son’s band is getting back together again. Someday soon I will get to see him play again.
- My mom is moving in with us today. I’m grateful that she seems to be on the path of healing. I’m still uncertain what this process will look like. I am rather apprehensive about the whole thing. Everything happened so suddenly that my head is still spinning. But this can be a good thing.
- Just an hour or two after my mom asked to move in, Paul’s step-dad Darryl stopped by out of the blue. He brought his new girlfriend, or should I say fiancé as they got engaged the day they stopped by. Although it was only the second time I saw her, I think they will be happy together.
- I saw my cranial sacral/massage therapist this past week to help me relax before the tattoo. I’m grateful for other people that help me along on my own personal healing journey.
- I’m grateful that the grass turned green again.
- I’m grateful for change even when I say I am not. Sometimes I get bored of the same old routines.
- I’m grateful to have had a wonderful grandma to remember. Today would’ve been her birthday.
- I’m grateful for the good things in my life when I’m going through hard times.
I did it!
He lined us up in the laundry room that day. He took off his belt and snapped it. He said we were all going to get a licking with the belt if no one confessed. My brothers and I looked at each other in bewilderment. I didn’t do it.
Terrified but trying not to show it. It’s strange, I remember the sting but I can’t remember ever getting hit. I bite my lower lip. The teeth marks permanently indent.
Luke is taken into the other room first while Mark and I fight back the the horror of what is to come. Luke screams and cries for what seems like a lifetime until he yells ‘I did it’ and everything ended like it had never begun.
I never want to be that frightened again. I never want fear to stop me from doing the things I want to do. I got my first tattoo today even though I was afraid.
I did it!
Outrunning my demons 