I stayed on the boat that night. The next morning we sailed back home. I slept restlessly letting the sun set on my anger. If I learned anything, it’s to try resolving issues when he is sober. I’d rather go to bed angry than be lulled to sleep by false promises.
We ran into someone we knew before we left the next morning. The guy showed us his boat. He said he was hungover and looked a little rough. His wife already left to go back home. He alluded to some discord. I wasn’t sure if she was annoyed because he drank too much or because after drinking his loud snores (which he did mention) kept her up. He didn’t say so much but I would guess that both irritated her like they irritate me.
After we left his boat, Paul said that sometimes everyone has too much to drink and fights with their spouse. I retorted that it wasn’t his anniversary though. I reiterated that I did nothing to warrant his anger. Just because other people are jerks sometime doesn’t give you the excuse to be one.
I spent a good chunk of the ride home brooding in silence. I was tempted to throw my wedding ring off the side of the boat into the drink. Just about that point I was ready to cast myself off the side of the boat as well. Not being the impulsive type or into death by drowning I sat quietly trapped in the boat with him.
What was I going to do? The previous year after Paul sold our business he bought the house of my dreams. Neither one of us wanted to leave it. We still had a child at home and not only one but two foreign exchange students scheduled to arrive later in the week. It wasn’t a good time for things to get messy.
Besides I faced a moral dilemma. Unless your spouse is cheating or beating on you, I believe you should do what you can to work things out. Even more so when there are children involved. But what if he didn’t want to change?
The silence was getting too loud. Paul pleaded with me to talk to him. I told him if he wasn’t going to stop drinking I would leave. I had to do something. I couldn’t let things continue as they were.
Paul said he wasn’t sure if he could stop drinking but he loved me enough to try.