- The weather the last couple of days has been absolutely gorgeous.
- I took advantage of the nice weather to finish my fall cleaning and wash windows.
- The autumn colors have reached their peak.
- I love the home renovation shows and I am starting a project on a much smaller scale turning my daughter’s old bedroom into my office. I removed all the trim board and applied the first coat of paint. I’m grateful my husband and I are willing to take on projects and finish them even though we don’t know what we are doing. There has never been an easier time to learn.
- Breakfast with my best friend at a new restaurant.
- I was able to visit with all my kids this past week.
- Angel came for a visit and brought over cinnamon bread she made with the bread machine which was a wedding gift.
- Paul’s homemade pizza.
- Fall campfires.
- Variety, change of seasons, and getting out my winter clothes. Warm fuzzy sweaters are the best!
Family
My daughter’s wedding
I awoke early after a restless night of sleep. Once the day started it went by fast, although I felt like I was moving in slow motion. Although tired, I was feeling pretty good. All the bridesmaids showed up around 10 AM. Afterwards there was a flurry of activity. My friend Lisa showed up to do my daughter’s hair and we ended up going to the store to buy ingredients for mimosas. I also opened an expensive bottle of champagne sent from our foreign exchange student from France. I was just waiting for a special day. It wasn’t long after we got back that the photographer arrived for pictures.
It was a gorgeous autumn morning. Angel bought us robes to get ready in that said bridesmaids on it. I got ready here and there. Angel didn’t sleep much the night before and her stomach was too upset to eat or sip champagne that morning or even the evening before. There were a couple little problems like the light burning out in the bathroom everyone was getting ready in. Arabella found they never removed the big plastic tag from her dress at the store and left in a hurry leaving her dress shoes behind to get the tag removed. I set out snacks for everyone. Just like that it was time to leave and I left the house a mess. Angel was getting very anxious about leaving on time and everyone else started getting anxious too. Angel lost her phone and we couldn’t find it anywhere. She was ready to leave without it, but it was found at the last minute.
Angel was a big mess at the church. She put her dress on and started crying. She gave everyone little notes to read. I will share mine at a later date. It was hard not to cry as well. The ceremony itself was excellent. They rented a wedding chapel and minister. I was really pleased with how everything turned out. After the ceremony was over, I felt immensely relieved. We took a couple family pictures outside. Paul’s step-dad asked me where my dad was. I guess we never told him and probably never will. I told him my dad was not well enough to be there. Darryl sighed and rolled his eyes. No one mentioned my dad again the rest of the day.
After a few pictures, the limo was ready for us. We stopped at several places to take pictures. For a picture, the guys pulled out some cigars. I said the girls needed cigar pictures too, so we did. We cracked open all the leftover bottles of champagne from earlier that morning. We even had a picture in the park where Dan shook a bottle of champagne and it sprayed everywhere. I can’t wait to see the pictures because I really didn’t take many even though I was supposed to.
It was really a lot of fun to spend the day with Angel and Dan. They were so happy. After pictures, we still had some time left in the limo so we stopped at a bar where the best man bought everyone a round of Fireball shots. Then it was off to the reception hall for the grand march and dinner. I ordered a Long Island Iced Tea. Go big or go home. Paul did an amazing job with his prayer. I was so impressed. The maid of honor also had an amazing speech.
I probably had a little too much to drink. I wasn’t the only one. But it was a great night and we all had a lot of fun. I tried to make the rounds and talk to everyone. Most of the night, though, you could find me on the dance floor. The music was great. I was hugging everyone which is pretty out of character for me. When I wasn’t on the dance floor I was outside with the smokers cracking jokes, giving unsolicited advice, and telling people to stop smoking (even complete strangers). Then I came right back to the dance floor dancing and sampling random people’s drinks. Everyone had a great time, especially the bride and groom. Everyone clapped and cheered for them. The atmosphere was that of festive celebration because everyone was happy for them because they are great together. It was the best wedding I’ve ever attended. My daughter did a great job with planning and picking the right guy.
1 day
I can’t believe by this time tomorrow my daughter will be changing her name. It seems surreal to me right now. They are getting really excited for the big day tomorrow.
My husband will be saying the dinner prayer and he is really nervous about it. I told him no one is going to remember it unless he accidentally says the f word or something. My son is going to be an usher and he is nervous about that. I don’t feel any different than any other day really. And that is the joy of struggling with anxiety. I’m used to feeling this way. There has to be some perks.
I’ve spent the last couple of days just getting ready. Mom and I went and got our nails done. I made the beds for guests tonight. Angel will be staying over with a bridesmaid. Arabella and Will will be staying too just to make sure they are up and ready in time. Angel is getting ready here with her bridesmaids so I bought some easy lunch foods. I expect somewhere around a dozen people being in and out of the house tomorrow morning. Then we may or may not have overnight guests the night of the wedding.
In a couple hours will be the rehearsal and dinner afterwards. I expect it will really hit me and I will be nervous then. Hopefully we will be able to sleep tonight!
Tomorrow Dan and Angel will begin their married life together. I can’t believe my daughter is getting married tomorrow. I am so happy and excited for them. I hope they will be blessed with many wonderful years together. One more day…
3 days
Today I found out all my closest friends will be attending the wedding. I am pretty excited about that. You know what they say, friends are the family we choose. I have a lot of family I consider wild cards. You never know what you are going to get.
My mom said my brother Luke won’t like the music. There is no doubt about it. After he stopped drinking, he became addicted to faith and very legalistic. He does not listen to any music that is non-Christian and neither does his teenage homeschooled kids. I know he looks down upon my family and views us as a bunch of savages. I also know that religion is where he feels safe from all the crap we experienced so I try not to take it personally. It’s not even that I disagree with him, I totally understand and think it is better for him than drinking too much. But he has a tendency to judge instead of support, the latter something we were never taught to do either.
Luke isn’t the only one questioning the music and other choices regarding the wedding Angel and Dan have made. I told Angel that I trust her judgment. What she really has a problem with is people not trusting her. She’s got this. Music is her thing. She has a music degree and a job in the industry. I can understand why it is so important to her. She said she doesn’t want to take requests because they bog the DJ down when she has a well thought out playlist already made. They will have jazzy dinner music from 6 to 8, dance music from 8 to 10, and club music from 10 to midnight. At the ceremony, they will have several singers and a pianist that hold the minimum of a Bachelor’s degree in music. I told my daughter I think she has this handled and validated her feelings of frustration over people questioning and criticizing. It’s their wedding. Angel said she is starting to feel more excited about the wedding than anxious today.
Other than that, I ironed my son’s shirt for the wedding. If it was up to him it would probably still be sitting in the bag I bought it in laying around somewhere. I can’t remember the last time I ironed. Yes, I have an iron. I got it for a high school graduation gift from my aunt. I remember that because when I opened the gift I was excited to see what was really in the box and it really was an iron. Our house has an ironing board built into a drawer in our kitchen island. It looked well used but it was the first time I used it.
As I was ironing, I started to think about ironing. When did that stop being a thing? I missed the smell of ironing. I started to think again of my grandma who was always ironing it seemed. She had a glass soda bottle with a little sprinkler on top to put little drops of water on the clothes before ironing. If you think laundry is a hassle now, try ironing everything.
My mom also gave my grandma laundry to iron. I remember my mom saying the smell of ironing also triggered my brother Matt’s violent outbursts. In the summer, my mom would iron outside. When she couldn’t do that, she sent it all over to my grandma’s. I had forgotten about that, but it all came back to me today. My mom thought if we could perfectly follow all of the crazy rules then Matt wouldn’t be violent anymore when in actuality all it took was the right anti-psychotic medicine. It’s no wonder why my brother Luke fell into following rules so easily and becomes upset when they are broken. I have to fight against it myself with my thinking if I do everything right I won’t get sick, etc. But hey, nothing about my childhood was normal, except maybe my grandma. To think ironing could trigger violence. How flipping crazy is that?
Anyway, I am excited all my best friends are coming to the wedding. I’m happy for the family members attending, even the wild cards. I’m glad Angel is starting to relax a little and enjoy the last couple of days before the wedding. I know it’s going to go by fast now. I’m glad to report everyone is healthy (except Arabella with mono but she will be there!). Only 3 more days to go…
4 days
My dress fits! Yeah!! The alterations didn’t take too long and I was able to see my daughter in her wedding dress which looks absolutely gorgeous on her.
Angel is keeping up with the tradition of something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue. Her future MIL is taking my grandma’s wedding dress and making a little handkerchief out of a piece of it. So, in a way, my grandma will be a part of the ceremony.
I remember when I was 12 years old, I tried on my grandma’s wedding dress. I told her when I got married I was going to wear it. That never happened. My grandma was a short woman and the dress pretty much fit me at age 12. Grandma never had a daughter or even another granddaughter so I ended up with her wedding dress. It was a very plain dress. It sat in a box untouched for many decades. It’s almost been 80 years since she got married. Over time, the dress started to fade. The buttons on the back of the dress rusted and bled into the dress.
I never thought the dress would be used again, but now it is. It’s special to me because my grandma was the number one positive influence in my childhood. I don’t know where I would be today without her. Now a part of her will be with us on my daughter’s special day.
I can’t believe we only have 4 more days to go until the big day. So far the weather is looking really good for Saturday. One less thing to worry about. And our dresses are ready to go, even my grandma’s.
Gratitude week 141
- Summer, we had several warm weather days at the end of the week.
- It was so nice out on Friday that I said screw it and put off my to do list. I decided we should spend one day of the week just relaxing and taking it easy. It shouldn’t be reserved for that one warm day at the end of the season.
- I was able to spend time with all my kids this week.
- I finally found my shoes for the wedding. I searched harder for those shoes than the prince did to find Cinderella.
- Taking time to remember 9/11.
- The landscaping company that did our big project last year is going to replace somewhere around 30 plants that either died or didn’t come in. I’m really grateful for that because it looks like crap. I really wanted to understand what the problem was. I think what happened was since they did the project in November right before the ground froze they did not get the proper watering and care they needed to grow and thrive.
- We watched a really good series on Netflix called Devil in Ohio.
- Our elderly friend Vince stopped by for a visit.
- The grocery store had a really good deal on salmon and crab legs which we enjoyed over the weekend.
Gratitude week 138
- I’m trying to enjoy what’s left of summer. In August we have the best weather here in Wisconsin. The stormy hot days of summer have mostly reached their end with warm days and cool evenings.
- This past week I ate, slept, breathed, cooked, cleaned, and shopped everything bridal shower. The bridal shower for my daughter Angel went better than I even expected it to.
- We had some difficult people attending the shower, but even they were on their best behavior. My sister-in-law Carla who we had issues with earlier this summer was a model aunt. She was over the top friendly towards my family which was greatly appreciated.
- I couldn’t have done the shower justice without the help of my daughter’s future mother-in-law. I’m grateful for all of her help. She’s one of those crafty type people and made a majority of the shower gifts. It seems like everyone went home with at least two gifts. She did pretty much all the decorations as well. She bought a balloon arch which I still have set up in my house with another 30 to 40 stray balloons everywhere. (I’m not too entirely grateful about that).
- I’m grateful that Angel, her future MIL, and myself stayed healthy. There is no way the shower would’ve happened if we were not able to be a part of it. My daughter Arabella had to miss the shower because she has COVID. It seems like everyone is sick again.
- I’m grateful that my daughter received a lot of nice gifts for their house. It seems like there will be a lot of cooking for them in the future.
- I’m grateful that after this past week the following week looks like it’s going to be low key.
- Leftover party food so I don’t have to do a lot of cooking.
- I’m grateful my daughter picked a great guy to marry.
- I’m grateful I don’t have to do any weeding for awhile after all of the weeding I did this past week.
- Everything has been cleaned up from the shower (except the balloons!!).
- My sister-in-law Emily spent the night with my two nieces on Friday night. It was the first time I saw my sister-in-law this calendar year. We don’t get together with family often enough, especially since COVID so it was nice to catch up.
Gratitude week 133
- I changed my cartilage piercing for the first time in two and a half years with no issues, no swelling, and no bleeding like the last time…so after 8 years I think it finally healed.
- Fresh picked cherries and my husband made cherry pie for the first time.
- Summer!
- My birthday week…seriously, I’m all birthdayed out.
- Sailing on my birthday and staying overnight on the boat with Alex and Lexi. It was Lexi’s first time sailing plus her birthday was the day after mine…so lots of celebrating.
- Celebrating my birthday with friends and family over the weekend.
- Going out for lunch and getting a massage with my mom for my birthday today.
- My good friend Lisa quit drinking. I’m happy she is making a healthy choice and is taking care of herself. She is a friend I really worry about especially the last couple years after her teenage daughter died.
- I’m always grateful to be home and sleeping in my own bed.
Gratitude week 131
- A nice day sailing with my mom, Arabella, and her boyfriend.
- I docked the boat into the slip by myself for the first time.
- Lexi and I went thrifting and I had some really good finds. Two murder mystery games, two books, some clothes, and a variety of records from Billy Idol to organ music by Bach.
- I may have the opportunity to check another state off my bucket list this fall so I’m starting to plan and think about it.
- Fresh picked strawberries.
- Going out to eat and visiting with my friend Jen.
- Summer! This is my favorite time of year!!
- 1200 followers.
- Independence Day! I love freedom and fireworks!
- For two nights of seeing fireworks on the lake and a night of fireworks with friends.
- I’m grateful all my kids came up north a couple of days. They all got along really well and had a lot of fun. It wasn’t quite the case with the extended family, but I’ll save that story for another day.
If…question 1
A month ago I was seeking a book of questions for blogging ideas at a garage sale and shockingly I found one. The book is called If…1&2 (Questions for the Game of Life) by Evelyn McFarlane and James Saywell. It contains hundreds of questions and I hope to answer them.
- If you were to be granted one wish, what would it be?
Aside from wishing for a million more wishes, I would wish to live in an utopian world where everyone lives together in mutual respect, peace, and harmony.
I want to live in a world where countries are not at war with other countries.
I want to live in a world where people are helpful and kind towards the needs of others.
I don’t want to live in a world where I am right and you are wrong or you are right and I am wrong constantly yelling louder instead of showing respect for our diversity.
I want a Facebook where I can look at cute kittens and never see fights about politics or religion. I should follow the ethics of my chosen beliefs and so should you. Differences are met with listening, understanding, and respect. No one really wants a world where everyone looks the same, thinks the same, and is just like everyone else anyway.
I want to live in a world of justice, fairness, and equality. No one is bullied and no one gets special treatment. Violence is not tolerated and everyone speaks quietly.
I want a world where family is not fighting against family. A world where marriages last and children born are wanted and raised in loving homes. No selfishness and no sibling rivalry. Grandparents are good role models.
I want a world where authority is respected, laws are followed, and there is a sense of order without corruption, abuse of power, or cumbersome useless rules.
I want a world where elders are respected and worth respecting. The young not harshly judged for their immaturity, foolishness, and inexperience by older folks who have long ago learned those lessons.
Yeah, I know, it’s starting to sound a bit like a Beatles song.
Outrunning my demons 