- Arabella has recovered from COVID and is back at work.
- Everyone else in our house tested negative.
- Just to be on the safe side, I cancelled the plans I had for the weekend and had a nice weekend at home.
- I finished a couple of books this week. It’s been a long time since I could say that I read more than one book in a week. I really enjoyed My Sister’s Keeper. Although a piece of fiction, it really made me think about what life was like with a disabled sibling. The disability aside, I remember feeling as if I didn’t matter. There was always something more important than me. I’m not saying that it was always a bad thing that my mom favored Matt, he did need her more. But things were always chaotic. Nothing could be planned or counted on in case Matt was having a bad day. Unexpected change is very triggering for me. I’m trying to have more compassion for myself in that regard as I read stories of other siblings having a hard time cancelling plans they were looking forward to because their sibling was sick, etc. I’m starting to go deeper to the more subtle effects the little things had on my life. It makes more sense why I respond the way I do if I start delving deeper.
- I ordered 4 more books, three of which are memoirs about people struggling with mental health issues.
- To a great weekend spent with my daughter Angel at home reading, writing, swimming, and watching movies.
- For having an adult daughter that is more like a best friend.
- Indian takeout food. Angel and I both ordered cheese naan and chicken tikka marsala. It was excellent!
- Summer!
- For health and healing in general. Last week was really hard because I didn’t know what was going to happen with the sickness in my house.
gratitude
Gratitude week 85
- Summer! The last couple of days the weather has been perfect. If only we had this weather last week so we could cross Lake Michigan. But I’m not complaining. I’m going to hold on to these nice days as long as they last.
- Even though we weren’t able to cross the big lake, we were able to go to some nice places. The pictures turned out great and maybe just maybe I’ll share some later this week.
- Although Angel tested negative for COVID, both of my daughters lost their sense of taste and smell. But they are both feeling a lot better and so far no one else has gotten sick that I know of.
- Although I love to travel, it is nice to be back at home and sleeping in my own bed.
- It’s nice to have a week with nothing planned until the weekend. I decided to spend some time today in the pool and started a new book. I try to remind myself that we were still supposed to be on vacation when I feel like I am being lazy by taking it easy.
- I’m grateful to find out what I don’t want. Paul and I are thinking ahead to our 25th anniversary next year. I was thinking that it would be fun to sail somewhere beautiful for our summer anniversary. But after the frustration of not being able to do anything that we planned months in advance for this last trip I would rather do something else.
- I started reading My Sister’s Keeper. It’s a great piece of fiction. I wanted to read more memoirs like Educated which was phenomenal. I decided this fall I will start the second edition of my book. I want to read some good memoirs in the mental health genre in the meantime. I want to analyze them to see what makes them great (if they are). Really good books in that genre are hard to find. If anyone has suggestions for books especially dealing with family members with mental health struggles, please let me know.
- As much as I hate to admit it, I’m grateful to have a crazy life to write about.
- I’m grateful that I don’t have a gas leak in my house especially since after we left we had the rest of the household lose their sense of smell.
- After I couldn’t find any in the stores, I’m grateful that my husband was able to order goat macaroni and cheese online for me. No, it’s not made out of goats but it is dairy free and delicious.
- I’m grateful for my husband, who was a big part of the leadership for the Lake Michigan crossing cruise, for the difficult decisions he had to make in order to keep everyone safe. We had a total of 5 boats wanting to make the crossing. A majority of the sailors have never sailed across before including all five people on our boat. Some of the boats were small. The rest, besides our boat, had only one experienced sailor with either inexperienced crew, incapacitated crew, or passengers that were very nervous. In some ways I’m grateful we didn’t cross because I couldn’t relax with a sick child at home. I guess it wasn’t meant to be this year.
- I’m also very grateful for the people we tried to cross Lake Michigan with, especially those on our boat. Everyone was very kind and supportive after we received the news that our daughter has COVID. Some offered rides home. No one expressed anger or irritation that they could’ve been exposed through us or that we wanted to go home early. Everyone seemed to have the attitude that being sick or exposed was the new world we live in now. I’m grateful to be around a wonderful group of people with a similar hobby.
- I’m grateful that my best friend has a new grandbaby.
Gratitude week 84
- My daughter Angel has a wedding date picked out and will be getting married next October.
- The graduation party went really well. No one asked where my dad was. It was kind of funny because a couple people asked where my best friend was.
- I’m grateful to have had enough room inside our house for the party when the forecast said there wouldn’t be any rain for the party and it did nothing but rain once Arabella’s party started. By the time I woke up this morning we had 4 inches of rain.
- I’m grateful that my daughter graduated from high school.
- I’m grateful that all my kids are hard workers and have jobs.
- I’m grateful that both Angel and Arabella, who went on two separate trips to Chicago within the last week, made it back safely.
- Within the last week or so I was contacted by two of the Airbnb’s for our trip next month. One of them said they double booked the cabin we rented. They wanted us to move from a three bedroom to a two bedroom. I was really nice and explained that I wanted my mom and Arabella to have separate rooms when they asked. My mom is an insomniac morning person who likes complete dark and silence. My daughter is an extreme night owl that likes to sleep with noise and lights. They would not make the best roommates. Once I explained it to the lady, she told me not to worry about it. She would find different accommodations for the other people since she said the guy was really rude to her. So everything is still a go for our trip next month.
- In a couple days Paul and I are leaving on vacation. We our sailing our boat across Lake Michigan with three other people. It may take 10 to 12 hours to cross. There will be periods of time that we won’t see land or have cell coverage. I am a little nervous since we have never done this before. But it should be a great adventure. I’ll be sure to share some pictures.
- Paul and I celebrated our 24th wedding anniversary this past week. We spent the day touring Door County.
- I am grateful that I didn’t need to buy any decorations for the party because I was given decorations from two friends that already had graduation parties for their kids in June. I am happy that the graduation party is over. I probably spent at least 12 hours weeding, cleaning, and setting up for the party. I am almost done cleaning up and taking everything back down. Now that the party is over it’s one less thing to stress about.
- Summer!
- I’m grateful that I was able to gather with family and friends for my daughter’s graduation party.
Gratitude week 83
- Remember last week how I said that Arabella’s boyfriend broke up with her? Well…I found out about the break up on a Friday night and hung out with her until I went to bed around 11 PM. Arabella said she was going to be okay because her friend Kami was going to come over and hang out after I went to bed. I just found out a couple days ago that on the way home from our house that night, Kami fell asleep and totaled her car. I am grateful that Kami is okay after the accident. The last teenager I knew who fell asleep driving died.
- I’m grateful for more time with my cat. He was sick the past couple of weeks and I thought I might have to put him down. He is also 15 years old. But it turns out he has an eye infection and will be okay. I do think he used up one more of his 9 lives over this. He is one of my all time favorite cats.
- My daughter Angel and her fiancé have a wedding date picked out. They have an appointment with a wedding chapel this week and if all goes well I think they will be ready to book the hall.
- Tomorrow Paul and I will be celebrating our 24th wedding anniversary.
- Paul has been working out of town the last couple of days and sleeping on our boat. He forgot his medicine at home so I went and surprised him after work. He was really happy that I thought to bring his pills to him and to see me unexpectedly.
- Since I went to the boat Friday night, we were able to play cards with out boat neighbors and it was a lot of fun.
- Paul had to work again early Saturday morning, so I drove back home, fed the pets, took a shower, and headed up north. I was able to visit my mom, brother Luke, niece Gracie, and my aunt Jan and her husband. Then this morning I headed back home and will be heading back to the boat to spend a couple days with Paul for our anniversary. I’m grateful that for the most part I’ve overcome my fear of long distance driving. I don’t think I could’ve done all of this otherwise.
- Yesterday up north we were able to find a new hiking place. I’m grateful that it was on the water and the bugs weren’t bad. It was nice to spend time with family.
- My mom bought me some blueberries for my birthday and Dan brought over some zucchini from his garden. So I made blueberry muffins and chocolate chip zucchini cake which everyone loved.
- Summer! It’s cooled off considerably around here. I turned off the A/C. It almost feels fall like, but it is very comfortable because the humidity is gone.
Gratitude week 82
- Today I had my upper endoscopy re-check. Everything looked normal, so I’m grateful for that. I still feel a little doped up so bear with me if I start cracking bad jokes.
- Angel, Dan, and I got massages for Angel’s birthday.
- Since my massage was way earlier than theirs, I hung around until they were done and then they followed me to the restaurant. Why I’m grateful for this is because apparently both blinkers and break lights weren’t working. I didn’t even know it. I’m grateful that I didn’t get into an accident while my rear lights were out.
- Arabella’s boyfriend broke up with her. You might have been wondering if I thought he was a jerk or something to be grateful for this. I am not that mean. What I am grateful for is that her response was appropriate. She was sad and crying, but she wasn’t depressed and didn’t self-harm. She said that she knew she wouldn’t feel this way forever and that she was okay. I truly felt she handled it well. Her boyfriend is leaving for college soon and that is apparently why they broke up. I am truly grateful she is handling the break up better than I expected she would.
- Summer!! Oh my gosh, the weather was perfect this past weekend. We spent the weekend up north for Angel’s birthday and had a lot of fun.
- I achieved my sailing certification. Although sailing is my husband’s passion a lot more than mine, I wanted to know what to do in case there was an emergency.
- Now that I finished reading my sailing certification book, I started reading the book Educated and it is really good. I really want to dig into some really good memoirs as I want to edit and rewrite my own book soon. Wow, I really used the word really a real lot.
- My mom is making supper tonight.
- I’m grateful that my husband took me to my appointment today.
- I’m grateful that my daughter might have a wedding date picked out this week. Then the real fun starts…the wedding dress shopping will be so much fun!
Gratitude week 81
- We made it across the bay back to our home port before the storm hit on my birthday.
- It seemed like absolutely everybody at the marina knew it was my birthday (even people I didn’t know). It’s probably the first time since I turned 40 that I am all birthdayed out. It was too much attention for this introvert.
- I met my son’s new girlfriend at my birthday party. She is really quiet and that is nice.
- Today I met my daughter Arabella’s new boyfriend. I did meet him briefly before when he came over at night and I was sleeping on the couch. I told him it was nice to finally meet him when I was dressed. Well that was awkward. I meant to say it was nice to meet him when I was awake (not sleeping on the couch in my pajamas).
- Summer!! After the storms on my birthday I couldn’t ask for better weather.
- I am planning Arabella’s graduation party. I am grateful to plan her party. As I looked at all of her pictures throughout the years I found myself really grateful that I am planning her graduation party and not a funeral. Worrying about death is one of the hardest parts of being a parent of a child with serious mental health issues. Graduating was a milestone worth celebrating, even if she is not heading to college like all of my friend’s kids.
- Over the weekend I went out to eat at the restaurant Arabella works at. I felt grateful that she has a job she really loves.
- I also went to a wedding show over the weekend with Angel, Dan, and his mom. I think within the next week or so we should have a date. I still cannot believe my daughter is getting married!
- Although I slept better on the sailboat, it is really wonderful to sleep in my own bed again.
- I am grateful for Angel’s birthday this week. We are planning massages and going out to eat at our favorite pizza place.
Gratitude week 80
- I have been having a lot of computer issues as of late. Thankfully my future son-in-law Dan was able to fix my computer so I didn’t have to buy a new one. It is so incredibly fast now that I don’t even have to take a nap while it loads.
- Tonight we are going out to celebrate Dan and Angel’s engagement at a new restaurant I’ve never been to before. Dan’s parents will also be there.
- Summer! The weather has been perfect the last couple of days. Dry, breezy, and upper 70’s. It really doesn’t get a lot better than that!
- The weather was cool and rainy mid-week which delayed our sailing trip that we planned, but we were still able to go.
- I was able to spend the night on the boat at a beautiful marina I’ve never been to before. One night we anchored out with friends near an island I’ve also never been to. We were able to go to shore and tour a lighthouse. I live in such a beautiful area. I can’t wait to share the pictures.
- I went out to eat Indian food with my best friend one evening.
- Oh my gosh, my son has a new girlfriend. He has been single for over two years. I will be meeting her this week.
- My birthday week has officially started!!
- I got my hair cut and colored today. A little pampering is a good way to start the birthday week.
- I’m grateful I was able to write about some really difficult things and close the book on the last series.
Gratitude week 79
- Arabella was the only server that showed up to work on the 4th of July. So, yeah, I think they forgot about the day she slept through her whole shift.
- The fireworks were absolutely amazing over the lake.
- Summer! I was able to spend a lot of time on the water over the holiday weekend. The weather has been crazy this year. It has been extremely hot, in the 90’s, for the last couple of days. Later this week it’s supposed to be in the 60’s with rain. It’s either been incredibly hot or cool and rainy.
- I saw all three of my brothers this past weekend, one of my brothers I haven’t seen since before COVID.
- I put on my new boxing gloves for the first time this past week. My son is teaching me how to box. I gotta have nice looking arms for the wedding.
- It’s my birthday month. I can’t believe my birthday is next week already. I’m thankful for another year of life.
- I’m grateful that my husband was able to buy a new battery for Arabella’s car when it died.
- I’m grateful that he was also able to take our son in to get a new phone when it died.
- I’m grateful for the family that sent my daughter engagement gifts. It was very thoughtful of them.
- I was finally able to spend time with my nieces for the first time this year.
Gratitude week 78
- Oh my gosh guys, this is super exciting!!! My daughter Angel got engaged over the weekend. Finally some good news!
- Summer!! Even though it’s been raining hard the last couple of days. (We do need the rain though).
- My daughter Arabella paid us back the money she owed us and so far loves her new job.
- I had two appointments with my therapist this past week. The last couple of weeks I’ve been really anxious and am starting to have stomachaches again. I’m hoping to manage my stress better, so here is to taking steps to do that.
- Yesterday I celebrated the graduation of my best friend’s son. Again, I was able to catch up with some acquaintances that I haven’t seen since before COVID. It was cool and rainy so we huddled inside their garage most of the afternoon. But it was nice to celebrate with friends on a rainy day that I wouldn’t do much else on. I won’t take for granted celebrating with friends after last year with COVID.
- I can’t believe that it will be the 4th of July next weekend. I have plans to go up north with my family to celebrate. It’s been almost a year since I’ve seen Luke and I haven’t seen my brother Mark and his wife since before COVID.
- Thunderstorms without severe weather.
- Oh my gosh, my daughter is getting married. How can that be??
- My daughter’s fiancé Dan is a really great guy.
- I’m just grateful right now to be home and sleeping in my own bed.
Gratitude week 77
- After a couple of nights away and not sleeping the best, it is nice to be home and sleep in my own bed.
- My son turned 21 this past week and we got to spend a lot of time with him for his birthday.
- My husband, son, and a friend of his went whitewater rafting. I wanted to go last year but never went. I’m glad I didn’t chicken out because it was a lot of fun. Plus it was a hot day which made it so much better.
- It’s the first day of summer! Woohoo! Funny thing is that it is quite chilly here. I turned off the A/C and put on a sweater.
- Paul and I worked most of the weekend for our business. It was nice because some friends of ours stopped by to chat that we haven’t seen since before COVID.
- I am grateful to have a wonderful husband that is a great father to our kids. For Father’s Day we took him out to eat and toured a maritime museum. He had a really nice day. I’m grateful for all the great dads out there that make a difference in their children’s lives or men who step up and provide that guidance.
- I’m grateful that life seems to be back on schedule again. Some friends of ours just invited us to their Halloween party this fall. It’s nice to have some events back on the calendar.
- I’m grateful that my daughter seems to like her new job.
- I’m grateful that the pool guys came out today to put in a new filter. It’s always nice when broken worn out things are fixed.
- I’m grateful that I haven’t had the chance to be bored this summer. So far it seems to be going a whole lot better than last year. I’m sure almost everyone can say an amen to that!!
Outrunning my demons 