15. If I were an animal…

Day 15: If you were an animal, what would you be and why?

If I were an animal, I would be a cat.

I have often heard from non cat lovers that cats are unteachable, temperamental, independent, and disobedient. But those of you who are cat lovers know that is simply not true. If a cat has a good master, a cat can be just as loyal as a dog. My cat is more obedient than my kids. He always comes when I call him, not just when it is time to eat. He misses me when I am gone. A cat chooses his master carefully.

I like to think that I am like a cat in this way. I am very independent, but have a strong loyalty to the select people I choose to trust.

My friend Cindy taught her cat to use the toilet. Sometimes he leaves the seat up and doesn’t flush. No different from her kids, I guess..

If I was a cat, I would be a fierce hunter. My family would get excited and shriek when I bring mice inside the house for supper…I know I would get sick of only drinking water and dried up old cat food, so I’d catch my own.

I would perch in high places and observe others. I wouldn’t have to talk, I just get to watch.

Other people could pick up my crap for me.

I could take more time to laze in the sun.

I would keep my coat shiny and clean. Someone else could brush my hair and vacuum up my clumps of fur.

I would be satisfied to spend my day curled up in your lap. I would purr to let you know how much I care.

I won’t have to worry about presidential elections, raising teenagers, or work.

I think it is time to take a two hour nap…

Oh wait, I’m not really a cat..

 

Trying to get clean – 911, poison control, and other parenting mishaps

It always seemed strange to me that my kids schedule has always been misaligned with mine.

In the earlier years of parenting three little kids, I was in my 20’s and still longed to sleep in. Oh, what I wouldn’t give to sleep in until 9 AM! But my kids were always up around 6 AM or some crazy hour!

Then the middle childhood years hit and for a brief overlap, our schedules entwined. No one got up particularly early or stayed up too late.

Now I am in my 40’s and the mother of three teenagers. I can’t seem to sleep in much past 6 for the life of me! It doesn’t matter what time I go to bed. My teens like to stay up until all hours of the night. They ask what time they need to be home at night. I always say 10 PM. Why?? Because that is the time that I want to go to bed! I seriously need my beauty sleep because the older I get the earlier morning comes. This is another thing I never thought would happen to me.

Where am I going with this story??!?

When my kids were little, I didn’t want to get up at 5 AM to take a shower. So if I was lucky enough to take a shower, I would sometimes try to get it in during nap time. Yes, there were times I had to have my baby right next to me while I showered. I remember being a nursing mom with a crying baby outside the shower next to me. It wasn’t very much fun and seemed counterproductive.

That was my reality in those days.

One day I decided to take a shower at nap time. After stepping out of the shower, I thought I heard a noise. I wrapped in a towel and opened the door to explore. Sure enough, I saw Arabella open the front door and run out of the house. My 2 year old was heading towards the road. I chased her down the driveway in nothing but a towel screaming like a banshee. What a fun game mom is playing today! My shrieks got louder as Arabella approached the street which stopped her in her tracks.

When I see new moms walking around grocery stores in their pajamas, I understand.

When did showering and self-care become an act of selfishness anyway??

Of course, those days are long behind me now.

Broken snow globes – 911, poison control, and other parenting mishaps

Back when Angel was a very little girl, perhaps before her siblings were born, I started a snow globe collection for her. Beautiful dancers and assorted wildlife swirled in the glistening snow. I put her collection safe up high on a ledge that she, for sure, couldn’t reach. She could gaze at them during nap time.

Ah, nap time. Well, what was supposed to be nap time.

When I entered her room that afternoon, there was a carnage of broken creatures that escaped their forever winter out of shattered glass. All of the snow globes were broken and Angel had glitter coming out of her mouth.

I called poison control that day.

What do you suspect is in snow globe water? Not drinking water, I’m sure.

Is eating globs of globe glitter harmful?

God forbid, did she swallow any of the glass??

Somehow she managed to survive until adulthood.

I learned a valuable lesson that day. Even if I had the snow globes suspended from the ceiling, they wouldn’t be high enough to keep out of the hands of a curious toddler.

Not long after that, I put the number for poison control on speed dial.