Lenten worry

This year I decided to give up worrying for Lent.

Before I made the decision, I had to decide if worrying was a problem. The plan was to keep a journal Wednesday and then give it up Wednesday night if I decided it was an issue.

I awoke Wednesday morning before the alarm went off worrying about what I wrote on my blog the evening before. Should I delete the post?

Arabella said she wasn’t feeling well. Is she getting sick?? What is wrong?

My stomach hurts. Am I getting an ulcer? Should I get my stomach scoped at my next physical?? Why isn’t the double dose of Prilosec working??

Did someone forget to let the pets in from outside last night?? Are they cold and freezing?? Maybe they are dead?

Don’t forget to buy tickets for Cindy’s sons musical. Cindy and Ted and traveling 8 hours this weekend and getting a babysitter to see Angel perform. What if I forget? What kind of friend would I be??

I’m cold. Will I wake up my husband if I sneak back into the bedroom to put on my robe and slippers?

March comes in like a lion. It’s snowing. My son will be driving to school later today because of a late start. Will he be okay? Will he go in the ditch? Will he die?? Will he even wake up in time?

Will today be the day that running the dryer will start my house on fire?? If my son is sleeping will he wake up and get out of the house in time?? Or will I kill him by doing laundry??

Will my employee come in to work or will I have to handle it all by myself??

I wake up Arabella for school. She is moving slow. Will she miss the bus??

Who is going to make supper?? What will we make? There is no food in the house and no time to cook after work and before after school commitments for the next two days.

My stomach hurts. Do I have an ulcer??

Wow, I do worry a lot. How am I going to stop worrying?

It’s 7:30 AM.

What if I have a bleeding ulcer?

Arabella texts me saying that she thinks she will be sick and will have to miss her sister’s show. I’m glad we got non-refundable tickets and hotel rooms.

My husband asks why I am so crabby.

I get a Facebook friend request from someone I don’t know. Is it a scam? Did someone find out my identity on WP?? Does everyone know about the crazy stuff I write about?? Do they know it’s me???

I worry that I am going to back into my son’s car as I leave the driveway. Will someone drive into me as I leave the driveway?? I worry about this everyday because of one time I didn’t see someone in my blind spot years ago.

Don’t forget to buy the tickets.

I’m at work.

For awhile keeping busy keeps the worry away.

My son calls me while driving saying that school was cancelled early because of a snow storm. He is almost to his friend’s house. Keep both hands on the wheel! The roads are bad. Will he be okay?? Did he let the dog out and leave him outside during a storm?? Is the dog freezing?

My employee calls in. I don’t get caught up at work.

I bought the tickets and put a check in the mail. Will the snowplow hit the mailbox and lose the ticket request??

Will we lose a big client because I can’t keep up at work??

Now my son is driving in the snowstorm with his girlfriend. Were they alone at the friend’s house?? Are they having sex??

Did I stop far enough away from the school bus??

Will I fall on the snow or ice and not be able to race from the injury?? Will my car get stuck in the snow??

Do I have an ulcer?

I forgot to practice my musical songs and the show is a month away.

I am ready to go to the Ash Wednesday service.

I worry over inappropriate laughter.

Arabella says she doesn’t feel well but has no fever. Did I forget to let the dog back in? What if my son goes in the ditch??

Okay, it looks like I will have to give up worrying.

When we get home, Arabella has a fever. Did she get the elderly couple behind us sick?

That’s right, stop worrying!

Yesterday, day 2 of the fever. Alex makes a comment that at least he is not sick.

Last night, Alex gets sick with another round of the bacterial colitis.

This morning, I am angry because I want to give up worrying but have a lot to worry about.

This morning, two doctor appointments for two sick kids.

A weekend road trip less then 24 hours away for my daughter Angel’s first opera.

I’m trying not to worry, but it has been so hard..

Instead of trusting God to help me with worry, I have been angry and blaming Him for giving me these struggles..

 

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s