Parenthood watch

We saw the first snowfall at our new house when the parents of Alex’s friend arrived on the chilly autumn Saturday afternoon. It felt rather ominous of what was yet to come, but at the same time brilliant and beautiful.

The other parents were concerned about how much partying our sons were doing. We decided to get together as a group with another set of parents and just talk, a support group so to say for parents of wayward sons. These boys are all good kids really. They just took a detour down the wrong path. They are partying and failing classes. They aren’t picking fights, stealing, destroying property…

I am making an effort to stop lying to myself. Part of that means facing the fact that my son may never go to college. I thought up to a month ago that he was going to college after graduating. Back when he was in grade school, Alex wanted to be an accountant. I had to ask the teacher to give him more challenging math. Then in middle school and high school, he barely passed math. In fact, he is failing his math class as we speak.

I lied to myself. I’ve been lying to myself for a long time. I’ve been telling myself that he is still that boy in grade school that needs more challenging math. But he really is the party boy that doesn’t give a crap about school. If we come down on him too hard for partying, then we fear that he will leave home and not even finish high school. It is very heartbreaking to see him waste his brilliant mind. It is so much easier to lie to myself.

I don’t have any control over the path he decides to take when he leaves here. It has been causing us a lot of grief. I hope and pray that he matures and grows out of it. Until then, now we have a group of parents that are just as concerned as we are. We might not be able to keep them from taking the wrong path, but at least we don’t have to deal with this alone.

Last night we had our first parenthood watch meeting. We shared our stories about our sons which were remarkably similar…

We are going to have a parenthood watch meeting once a month and exchanged numbers. It’s time for us to work together and do what we can to make things better. It’s not a lot of fun to deal with this alone.

 

4 thoughts on “Parenthood watch

  1. I wish our kids would take the road less troubled, don’t you? Unfortunately they have to figure things out for themselves and not take the path we’ve laid out for them or desire. Your story hit close to home for me. I have a very bright son who graduated as Valedictorian. To me, that was so important and I was ignoring what was going on in his life. When he got to college, he failed. He had stopped going to class and was to frightened to tell us that his laptop had been stolen and he quit doing his work. He asked if we’d pay for him to see a therapist. The therapist said that because he was asking for help that was a very good sign. In the end, he finished college, but not on the smooth path we had envisioned for him. Looking back, he wishes he would have taken a gap year and been more mature. If your son doesn’t go to college immediately it may turn out okay. You won’t have wasted the $30,000 to $60,000 for him to make an expensive mistake.

    Liked by 1 person

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