Hot, but mainly cold

Arabella was either hot to us or cold.

The cold times were especially chilly. She accused her parents and siblings of abuse. When I didn’t want to buy her junk food one time, she threatened to tell everyone I starved her. I told her to go ahead no one would believe it anyway. I really didn’t want to know what she was saying about us.

During the hot times, we were the best parents ever. She cried and felt a great amount of guilt for how she treated us. I remember one of those times very distinctly because most of the time I feel our relationship is cold.

It was the day she lost one of her last remaining friends. An old friend told her she had changed, she didn’t want to be friends anymore, and asked her to leave. She came home happy and bubbly which didn’t seem like a reaction one would expect from another loss of a friendship.

She also came home bearing gifts for me. She bought me Oreos, a bag of chips, jelly beans, a bouquet of flowers, and a birthday card. The problem was it wasn’t my birthday. My birthday was 6 months before. On my birthday she spent the day with Jordan’s mom because her birthday was right around the same time mine was. She celebrated Jordan’s mom as if she was her own and not mine with me. She even moved in with them for awhile. Now she isn’t even friends with Jordan anymore.

I appreciated the gesture but felt incredibly uncomfortable. It seemed off to me. I couldn’t help feeling like something was really wrong with my daughter.

I could never predict the weather but learned to live in a cold climate.

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