My son’s girlfriend Lexi’s birthday is the day after mine. What she wanted to do more than anything was to go out dancing. She also wanted to go to the martini bar we visited earlier in the week. Because of shootings in the neighborhood, the martini bar now closes early on the weekends at midnight. That really wasn’t a problem because after midnight I tend to turn into a pumpkin.

Before we went out dancing or to the martini bar, Lexi wanted to go out for pizza. At the restaurant, someone told the waiter it was her birthday. The server mumbled happy birthday and was on his way. Gone are the days of free drinks, meals, or desserts for those celebrating a birthday although the celebrant tends to bring all their close friends and family out. I remember times when the whole server staff would come out and sing happy birthday. Some would even add the little cha cha cha’s and really get into it. They would come out with a cake with a little candle on it. Everyone would clap. I haven’t noticed much of that spirit after COVID though. Now they have the attitude of….so, what?

After pizza we went to the martini bar. We were having a lot of fun and things were going good. Then around 10:30 we made our way over to the dance club. It felt creepy because we had to walk through an alleyway to get inside. When we got in a security guy wearing a bulletproof vest took a copy of our driver’s license and took our picture. Still feeling a little creeped out. The whole place had this dirty and dingy vibe going on for me.

When we got inside we were approached right away by a guy who was pretty messed up asking me to buy him a drink. He was in my face. Then Lexi got in his face and told him to back off. He wouldn’t leave us alone. Then my son got involved. The guy told my son he was going to kill him multiple times. Then he started to take off his shirt telling Lexi and I to look at his muscles. Meanwhile, the rest of our group was far enough away they didn’t hear much of what the guy was saying.

A woman came up looking for the man who was still acting erratically. Then he started touching me, running his hand down the side of my body. I don’t think my son saw that because he probably would’ve punched the guy after watching him harass his girlfriend on her birthday and his mom. This is where I got in the middle of my son and this guy. I wanted to be the protector. I told the lady to take the guy home but she was almost as messed up as he was. I really didn’t want a big bar brawl. So we ended up leaving before we even got to dance. On the way out, my son told the bouncer about the guy who was harassing us.

My kids told me the guy was really messed up, not only drunk but probably on meth because he was twitching. I’ve never seen someone on hard drugs like that right in front of my face. But I know what it is like to live with someone that is violent and erratic. It’s like my PTSD kicked in and I responded to the man just as if he was my brother when he would get violent. I wanted to protect others. I ended up apologizing to my son later. He handled the situation well, I did not. I could’ve really gotten hurt if the guy attacked me. Who knows what would’ve happened if we would’ve stayed. The guy was out of his mind, aggressive, and unpredictable.

Once we left the dance club, we tried to get out of there as quick as we could before the guy saw us after he got kicked out. Sure enough, the guy got kicked out but he walked by us without even recognizing us and that we were part of him getting kicked out. Then he walked into the martini bar and my son also went back in to warn the bouncer of what previously happened. It was a crazy night out. People were so messed up, running out in front of cars when the light was green. Paranoid. On hard drugs. Is this what the world is like now?

I miss the days when a group could just go out and have fun celebrating a birthday. I like it when the restaurant you go to makes you feel special on your birthday. A time where you didn’t have to worry much about violence or strange guys touching you inappropriately.

Although, I am happy that my son’s girlfriend included us in her birthday plans.