I remember when she first started to slip.
I took the kids over to visit Aunt Grace. They made a picture frame for her out of popsicle sticks. They glued candy hearts on the frame and put a cute picture inside.
The next time that we went to visit, the picture of the kids was gone. Grace pulled all of the candy off of the frame and ate them. She had one of the popsicle sticks soaking in water to get the candy remnants off.
That was the beginning of the end.
Aunt Grace only wore navy blue. She was a part of the Navy military reserves (WAVES) in WWII.
Aunt Grace, like me, was a firstborn with three younger brothers. They were also close in age like I am with my brothers. When her brothers all joined the military in WWII, Aunt Grace joined too. She joined in a time that it was uncommon and perhaps frowned upon for women to serve. But that never stopped Aunt Grace. She was patriotic down to the core.
She decorated her house with a nautical theme. She loved lighthouses, anchors, and anything with the Navy emblem on it. Strange enough, however, I have never seen her swim or ride on a boat.
Aunt Grace was proud of her time in the military. She bought everything that she could having to do with the WAVES. She bought mugs, shirts, and any military novels she could get her hands on. She wrote letters to the women that she served with, but I never had the chance to meet them.
When it was time for the WAVES 45th reunion, it was in our area so I went along. I was very young so I don’t remember a lot of the speakers or the meal. I just remember Grace smiling a lot as she drank her coffee. She bought us all reunion shirts. My grandma went out to eat one time wearing that shirt and a stranger paid for her meal with the note attached saying thanks for serving our country. My grandma never served, it was all Aunt Grace.
Over time, the WAVES group grew smaller and smaller. After Aunt Grace and her brothers passed away, my parents donated their uniforms to the local historical society. I never told her that I was proud of her, I was too young at the time to understand. I can’t remember ever meeting any other women of her time that served. When at events that veterans were asked to stand to acknowledge their service, Aunt Grace was always the only woman in the room that stood up.
Aunt Grace was uncommon.
Today was the day that it all started. Today was the day that it all ended.
I wasn’t there when the story began almost 100 years ago. I couldn’t tell you if it was a cold or snowy day. But I could tell you how it all unravelled.
Eight years ago, I received a phone call from my mom saying that the end was near. It was Aunt Grace’s birthday. But she wasn’t going to be having birthday cake. She hadn’t eaten in two weeks.
I needed to wait for Paul to get home from work so I could leave. The kids were too young to be left alone or come along. I had to drive 45 minutes on country back roads to see her. A storm was brewing. My mom went to be with her. The winds picked up. It was getting dark when Paul got home. The snow had started to fall. The roads were getting icy. God had other plans.
Eight inches of snow came down that evening. Blowing swirling snow on icy roads would make the drive to Grace treacherous. I was stuck at home feeling guilty for not being there. My mom held Aunt Grace tight as the light within her slowly started to fade away. Although Aunt Grace was my mom’s aunt in law, my mom loved her like a mother. Grace passed away on her 89th birthday.
Aunt Grace was the most eccentric person that I have known. She was by no means ordinary or common.
Today is the day that Grace’s story will be reborn.
As the old saying goes, all good things must come to the end. This is the end of my travel series, but not the end of my travels.
It has been fun spending the last couple of weeks writing of a lifetime of previous adventures. I am glad to finally have those memories written down to forever cherish before they slowly fade away.
In a few months, I will be perched in a favorite spot armed with my camera and a good story to tell. Writing reviews and telling stories while they happen with a favorite photo or two.
In the meantime, I will be sending off my oldest daughter to explore different shores to a place where her adult journey will begin. I can’t wait to see where life will take her.
Keep traveling!
I want you to close your eyes for just a moment and think about the busiest place that you have ever been. I am thinking about New York City. Horns honking, tires squealing, brakes squeaking, street vendors selling loudly, all a jumbled mass of sounds echoing off of buildings. Now I want you to think of the most remote location that you have ever been to then multiply it by 100.
A few years ago, Paul and I wanted to get away for the weekend to escape from the noise of life. I reserved a remote camping site at the Northern Highlands State Forest in Wisconsin.The site I reserved was called Sunset Point. It was one of five camp sites. Three were located on the main lake, one was on the second lake, and the site I reserved was on the farthest end of the third lake.
Paul reserved remote camping sites before. He would get together with a group of guys and take his fishing boat filled with camping gear to the remote site. They would spend the weekend fishing and cooking up their catch. This time I wanted in on the adventure but with just the two of us.
There were a few very important things that I overlooked when I reserved this site. We had the truck loaded up with camping gear when Paul decided to take one last look at the site details before we left. He noticed that our camp site was not a boat in remote site like we thought. It was actually a canoe in remote site. We would have to carry our canoe and gear a couple of football fields between lakes to get there. Oh, and a storm was coming.
Thankfully we were able to drop off the kids at my in-laws and pick up a canoe that they had up in the rafters of their shed. That afternoon we were finally able to check into our camp site. The park ranger said that due to the bad weather expected almost all of the campers canceled their sites. We decided to keep our site on the furthest lake. He told us that in the event of a severe storm, we were on our own. He gave us a map and wished us luck.
We drove about 15 minutes down a one lane dusty dirt road. It was full of potholes. We were bouncing around so much that I thought our canoe would fall off. Vines and brush pressed against the truck on both sides. It was a great place to hide a body and we didn’t even get to our site yet. Once we got to the parking spot, we realized that we majorly over packed. We packed for a boat ride across the lake, not a canoe ride across three lakes. We took three trips back and forth across each lake to be able to fit our most essential gear. Then we carried the canoe across a couple of football fields down a little dirt path to get to the second and third lakes. We had to make multiple trips to get the rest of our gear. It took us several hours to finally get to our site. We arrived just before it got dark hurrying our exhausted muscles along more and more as dusk approached. We still had to set up camp, eat, and try to hunker down before the storm came.
We truly were out in the middle of nowhere on a small lake in a heavily wooded area. There weren’t any electrical hook ups here. A short distance from the camp was a pit toilet in the middle of the woods without a structure around it. We were completely in the dark once night hit. We settled into our tent early that night trying to sleep before the storm arrived. Paul tied our tent up to the trees surrounding it to give it more support. We heard a coyote howl in the night. Taking a hike to go to the bathroom would be a little scary. Not to mention feeling vulnerable out in the wide open.
We awoke that night to distant thunder then the roaring of a great wind. Rain knocked gently at first with a little tap, tap, tap. Then tree branched clapped and tapped along our tent. Everything seemed so loud. I grabbed the flashlight to shine on my face (like the actress from the Blair Witch Project) and jokingly said, “I’m so scared.” But I really was afraid. I was afraid that a big tree would come crashing down on us. I was afraid that I would have to swim across three lakes and run across a couple of football fields with broken legs. Oh heck, might as well just throw in a bear.
Despite my fears, we woke up that morning in paradise. Most of our wood got wet, other than that everything was perfect. We fished on that little lake. We had a great time in the miniature Garden of Eden (without snakes). I even checked skinny dipping off my bucket list. We didn’t see a single person all weekend. Well, except for when that small plane flew over while I was skinny dipping.
The next morning it was time to go home. Once again, we were in a bit of a hurry because another storm was going to hit that afternoon. We decided that we did have enough time to make a good breakfast. While Paul made bacon, we heard howling that came closer and closer to us. I sat in the canoe while he cooked just in case something came out at us. To this day I couldn’t tell you if it was coyotes, wolves, or hunting dogs. All I know was that it was pretty unnerving. It sure did motivate us to get out of there as fast as we could.
We finally were able to load up our bags and head out, but not before we put the weight of the world back on our shoulders. Things didn’t go that well with my mother-in-law and the kids. She couldn’t handle all three kids at once. She was swearing about them while we loaded them up into the truck and left. After that, I didn’t speak to my mother-in-law for about a year. Getting away did wonders for our marriage. Too bad it didn’t have the same effect on my mother-in-law.
We always expected to go back to our hiding spot. In fact, I even made reservations to go back the following summer. We loved the taste of serenity that solitude provided along with a little spice of being survivalists. We wanted to right our wrongs, like not over packing. When the weekend came around to go back, we didn’t have a sitter for the kids and it was going to be stormy the entire weekend. So we never did go back, but sometimes I want to.
Crystal Lake is located in the beautiful northwoods of WI. It is part of the Northern Highlands State Park system. We had the opportunity to camp on this lake twice and several times at surrounding lakes at the same state park. The best thing about this vacation is that you only need a tent and some camping gear to do it. So it is very affordable (unless you need to fly across the country or internationally to get there). LOL. The worst thing about it is that you practically have to sacrifice your first born to get a site there. It is THAT popular. I remember sitting at the computer on dial up at midnight exactly 11 months before I wanted to reserve a site here. Before my modem could connect they were all gone. Now I think that it has to be 11 months in advance at 9AM instead of midnight, but it has been awhile since I reserved a site.
So it was a fluke thing both times that we got a site on the lake. The neighboring lakes are all very nice, but Crystal Lake is the best. One time we went to check in to a neighboring lake’s site when we were told that a site opened on Crystal Lake. Within 2 seconds we took it. We took my mom and kids to the site and pretended that it wasn’t ours. Surprise!
What isn’t to love about Crystal Lake? The lake is large with a sandy beach around it. It takes about an hour to walk around the beach at a leisurely pace. It is great for swimming. After wading in about 10 feet of shallow water, there is a drop off with water that is cool, crisp, and crystal clear over your head. The water is so clean that you can see down to the bottom at the middle of the lake. Once we decided to swim across the lake. The kids and I would play underwater tag. It was like a tropical location within my home state if you replaced the palm trees with pine trees. Plus surrounding the beach, there are miles of hiking and bike trails.
We only had the very basic camping gear. We had a couple of tents. Paul would make all of our meals over the open fire. He was always up for the challenge, even during unexpected rainy weather. His food was always great, especially after being active all day. He was really the person that made this all happen for us.
On the picture below, we experienced the most fabulous sunset ever. It was after a time of struggle. That particular afternoon we experienced a couple of hours of intense (in tents) rain. Paul dug a trench so the water would flow away from our tents. We hunkered down reading books and playing games while fellow campers loaded up their gear and left. That night we were rewarded for our perseverance by seeing one of the best sunsets that I have ever seen over the water.
But isn’t that oftentimes how life is? After making it through life’s storms, we can appreciate the beauty of life more.
A few years ago, Paul and I had a conference in Phoenix. I’ll be honest with you, the little lunch break by the pool ended up turning into missing the next seminar. Didn’t we hear about that topic the year before anyway? We never get hot summer days in the fall in WI. Sometimes we don’t get hot summer days in the summer. So really could you blame us for giving in to temptation?
After the conference we rented a car and drove to Flagstaff. On the way we stopped in a little town called Jerome. We were told that was where the hippies live. We did see a couple in a VW van that could pass as hippies but that was about it. I wasn’t able to add to my collection of boho clothes or jewelry, but we did have a nice lunch. Then we stopped at the Red Rock park and hiked there for awhile.
Flagstaff was a nice high altitude city. We took a short hike and I was very winded. We met a lot of people, most of them tourists like us. We met a man that followed us to a costume shop to see if he could buy a Bacchus costume to celebrate the fall solstice. He was going to ride around town on his motorcycle while wearing it. OOKKaaayyy. Interesting. Hmm. We met another couple, the woman’s dad lives near us and we know him. Small world.
The highlight of our trip however was seeing The Grand Canyon. We decided to take the 6 mile hike around the south rim. If you remember from earlier, I am afraid of heights. I can’t even explain in words how overwhelming and immensely grandeur this location is. When we got off the bus to start our hike, I was so terrified that I wanted to turn around and head back. I practically glued my body as far as I could away from the massive drop. In most places, the trails were right next to the side of the cliff without guard rails. There were narrow paths that caused me to cringe when I had to pass someone. After awhile I got used to the dizzying heights.
When we got back to the hotel we looked online to see how many lives were claimed by this monsterous canyon. There were some interesting stories, like the man who pretended he was falling then actually did. Or the husband who had his wife keep moving back just a little more for the picture.
While I stood at the edge looking down, the still voice inside my head said jump! Jump! Paul said he had the same temptation. It was so strange. I had a lot of anxiety seeing families with small children. Or crazy people that would balance on the ledge. I was always afraid they would fall.
It is a horrifyingly beautiful location. I was awe struck and overwhelmed at the same time. I cannot express the feelings that this miracle of creation elicited within me. I felt like a tiny little ant. You will just have to take a visit yourself!
The flight home was the scariest flight I have ever taken. We had turbulence the whole 3 hours because we were flying over a storm. They couldn’t even serve food or drinks. I faced a lot of fears on this trip and it was positively exhilarating. This is a great location for the adventurous, but leave the little ones at home. I think it would be fun to take a week to hike down into the canyon. Or go rafting on the tiny little river. Okay, it just looks tiny when you are standing at the top of the world. One day just wasn’t enough to see this beauty.
Good thing I didn’t kick the bucket while checking this one off my bucket list!
Writing has finally paid off for me. Literally. A week or so back I wrote a post about my bad travel experience with Delta airlines. I decided to go ahead and write them a very detailed complaint letter. What would it hurt? Maybe I would feel better if nothing else. I never had any problems with the airline before. I have never written a complaint letter before either. Today I received an apology letter from Delta along with a $200 gift card. I believe that this rectifies the situation. I wanted to share this response with you because a kind apology goes a long way with me if I feel wronged. It is fair. Ah, redemption and not just redeaming a gift card.
Today I received this gift on the 7th anniversary of my grandma’s death. I know what you are thinking…what does this have to do with flying?? In a weird twisted way, a lot. I planned our first family vacation to Disney a little over 7 years ago. I had planned the whole vacation, made reservations for meals, and purchased airline tickets to be called in a few days before our vacation to see my grandma on her death bed. I didn’t know what to do. I never traveled with the children before. I didn’t buy the extra insurance that allowed me to cancel the trip. And one of the closest people to me in the whole world was leaving it.
The family was called in to say good bye a few days before we were scheduled to leave. My grandma was delirious on Morphine. She spent a lot of time sleeping when we were there. She muttered and cried out, but was not aware of our presence. The following day I went to visit my grandma by myself for a little while. She refused the Morphine so she could be awake to talk to me. She told me that she wanted me to go on vacation. She told me that she was ready to see grandpa and her parents again. She said that I needed to let her go to be with those that passed before her. She said that I would be ok and that someday that the pain of her memory would fade. She lived a long full happy life and was ready for her final journey.
So we went on our vacation. While we were gone, I called home frequently to be told that grandma was doing good. We got home from our trip Saturday night. When I called my mom, she told me that grandma was doing really well so well that she might be able to come back home. I didn’t need to rush out and visit her right away that night. The next morning I received a call that grandma passed away peacefully less than 24 hours after she knew I got home.
I was very sad for a long time. I thought of her every single day that first year. I cried a long time the first anniversary of her death. Then it seemed like I didn’t think of her as much anymore. The pain faded and memories bloomed. I tried to remember the good days.
My grandma once bought me a bright colored umbrella. She told me that she never wanted me to be sad on a rainy day. So I think of the happy days. The puzzles that we worked on together. Our love of mystery, thriller, suspense books. The time spent researching the family tree. Drinking tea together in our special mugs. The beautiful songs that she would sing to soothe my childhood tears. The jar of cookies she would send me home with.
Today I am wearing one of the matching shirts she bought for us. We were best friends. She helped me through the hardest days of my life. Then she gently let go of my hand.
Last month we took our last family vacation before our oldest child graduates. I already told you about the craziness getting there and coming home, so I’ll get right to our trip. We rented a vacation house through Orlando Vacation Homes 360 that was big enough to fit my mom, my brother Luke and his family, and the five of us. The house was comfortable and roomy. We also had a movie theater room and outdoor pool. Unfortunately it was too cold to use the pool, but the house was wonderful and if we had questions they responded right away.
We spent our first two days exploring Universal and the Island of Adventure. Paul was approached by Olive Oil who asked if he was a sailor. He responded, “As a matter of fact, I am.” If it wasn’t for Popeye, we might have had to leave him behind. Lol
We went to the Harry Potter village and sampled the sweet frothy butter beer. My favorite ride was there, it was a 3D roller coaster ride. I also liked the Spiderman ride which was similar. Angel and I got tricked into riding The Mummy which was too much of a roller coaster for us. Paul had to buy the picture because Angel and I were so terrified that we would never do that again. It was very funny for everyone to remember how frightened we were, forever. Angel and I didn’t go on the huge rocket roller coaster. I told her that would rather eat worms, so she brought me back a bag of salted worm larvae. I didn’t really mean it, Angel!
We spent the weekend at Universal with my best friend that moved to Florida. Afterwards, we went to see their house. It was great to have a cook out and bonfire with them in January. It was windy and cool while we were at Universal with highs in the low to mid 50’s which helped keep the crowds to a minimum.
We spent Monday at Sea World with my extended family. It was sunny and 70. We had a great time there because it was virtually empty. We didn’t have to wait in line for rides, exhibits, or shows. As you can see from the above picture, Paul and I were able to swim with the fish. We ate lunch at a restaurant with a large aquarium. The food was great although rather pricey. Yes, we could even order fish while watching them swim nearby. I ordered the lobster bisque and salmon with caper sauce. Mmmm, it didn’t disappoint. The shows were the best I have ever seen at any zoo or aquarium.
Our last full day in Florida, we decided to take the kids to Cocoa Beach. It was a cloudy day with highs in the low 70’s. My son really wanted to try surfing while we were there. We ended up renting a wet suit for him. It cost a total of $20 to rent the surf board and wet suit for the afternoon from Ron Jon. I had the misguided assumption that I could use the surf board for a short period of time to check surfing off my bucket list. Once I hit the water with my toes I knew that was not going to happen. The water temp was 65 degrees. Kind of like Lake Michigan in the summer. Paul and the kids went swimming anyway. I almost chickened out, but everyone was teasing me because I said that I would go in. So I did go in up to my chest. It wasn’t that bad once you got used to it. As for staying out a long time in deep water, forget about it.
One great thing about a dreary day at the beach is that we had it to ourselves. What a great time to take pictures too!
We were able to save a lot of money on this trip just by eating at our vacation house in the evening. We were thinking of taking sandwiches to eat in the car at the parks, but that is not practical. You could probably do that at Sea World, but not at Universal because it is a long hike back to your car. Almost every evening, my mom would bring out the jelly beans that she bought. Pretty much cured me of my addiction. Along with the normal jelly beans, there were some other flavors including soap, dirt, and vomit. Guess who got the vomit jelly bean? Yup, I did. I honestly don’t know how they can make it taste so real. Gross!
All in all, we had a great family vacation. We didn’t have the warm temps we were hoping for, but it did work to our advantage at the parks and beach. We spent a lot of time talking and laughing. We didn’t come back with a wonderful tan so the people at home were not hating us too much. I would recommend renting a vacation house. It is very affordable when you split the cost. Plus you don’t have to cram a family of five in a tiny hotel room. I thought that Universal was a great park to take teenagers to. Sea World had a lot for all ages to enjoy. One other tip if you are driving in Florida, take money for the tolls.
Happy traveling!
I feel the edginess right before the storm hits. The peacefulness and calm from my vacation is leaving slowly like a summertime tan. I feel the wind surround the emptiness inside of me, trying to find a void to fill with cold icy snow. The warmth and sunshine are gone now. Sorrow, darkness, and anger encapsulates me. I cry out to God, but He doesn’t seem to hear my prayers. I feel the tug of emotions trying to drown me in a river of despair. I am alone. I want to be alone. I don’t want to talk. I really don’t want to do anything.
It has been a hard start of the year. I miss my neighbor and friend that passed away a couple of weeks ago. Every time I look at her house, I think that she is still there. She will pull her car out of the driveway and wave at me. We were supposed to do something together next week. But guess what? I can’t go. I looked over the old messages that she sent me. My heart tells me that she is still alive. She just can’t come outside. My brain tells me to stop being such a fool. Stop pretending that things are fine.
Last summer my best friend moved to Florida. I had the opportunity to spend time with her while we were there on vacation. I didn’t realize how much I missed talking to her and seeing her. I miss her. I don’t feel like talking to anyone else. In 4 months, my oldest daughter will be leaving the house. I am excited for her to start the adult chapter in her life, but I am at such a loss. I started crying while she performed her solo and ensemble song for me. It bothered me that she sold her junior prom dress. It just seems so final.
Then yesterday we found out that my mother-in-law has stage 4 terminal lung cancer. They are giving her around 15 months to live. Wait a minute, I am not ready to deal with the loss of our parents yet. I have been having a hard time with this since I saw her last week. I have been feeling sad and angry. With all of the people that were praying for her and my friend that passed away, why didn’t God heal them? I don’t have any control. Why should I expect miracles? I feel helpless. Who can avoid death? It has given Paul time to say goodbye to his only parent. That has been good for him to spend time with her.
This morning my son got suspended from school. He got in a fight with someone in the hallway. It has been no secret that my son has been struggling with school for the last couple of months. He has been begging us to switch schools for a couple months now. Apparently a boy called him a faggot on facebook back in December and has been bullying him with some other kids. My son got in his face today. I suppose that it shouldn’t surprise me that the day after my son finds out that his grandma is dying that he confronts this other boy. Words were exchanged between my son and this boy. They were pushing and shoving each other in the hallway. Then I received a call from the school that my son was suspended for 3 days. He was trying to provoke the other kid that was picking on him. Maybe this is a good thing. Maybe we can finally resolve this issue head on.
We are expecting a snow storm today. We should be getting somewhere around 8 inches of snow with blowing winds. It just started to snow.
Outrunning my demons 