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Anniversary race

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The sailboats are snuggling in their harbor slips deceptively calm before the start of the race.

On our actual anniversary date, I decided to join Paul as crew on his sailboat race. It is risky for a married couple to do, especially on their anniversary date. I was one of the few, if not only, wife out racing last night with her husband.

I have heard a lot of wives say that they can not race with their husbands. In the excitement of the event, the husband at times can raise his voice and speak harshly to his wife. I spoke to someone this weekend who said that she cried after her husband yelled during a race. They got into a big argument, and never raced together since.

I work with my husband, so…

Then there are the wives that don’t want to go sailing at all. There are a lot of reasons why. They are afraid of being on water and boats. Boating is the only mode of transportation that doesn’t terrify me. Another really good reason….they are afraid of spiders. Again, not me. I don’t even mind touching them. Or maybe, just maybe, they can’t stand their husband. Who knows? I love sailing. What is there not to love? Every time is a different adventure even if you go to the same place.

I prefer cruising over racing though. Can I let you in on a little secret?? There was more yelling during our anniversary cruise than on our anniversary race. Not to worry, it was nothing major. Paul accused me of not caring about him anymore. He is right. Sometimes I am uncaring. I lack patience. I lack empathy. I think that part of growing up in survival mode has made both of us lack empathy. We needed to have a thick skin and not care. But that is no excuse.

Sometimes I wish the honeymoon phase of marriage lasted a little bit longer. Maybe it would have if we didn’t have a newborn on our first anniversary. Who knows? It seems like those annoying quirks that I thought were cute at first didn’t stay cute for very long. Now we have a mutual annoyance for each other. Then add busyness and stress to the picture which tends to naturally give me less tolerance and makes me more critical.

It takes a lot of work to make a marriage great after being together over 20 years, but it is well worth the effort. We are trying to be more supportive, not take each other for granted, and take the time needed to make our relationship a priority. It is difficult because neither one of us has ever been shown this.

After the race, we celebrated our anniversary in a little dive bar. It was one of the few places that serves food after dark. Surprisingly, the food was great. We played a game of darts together and talked to another sailor that wandered in. He told us that he wished his wife would sail with him. Then we went home and decided to call it a year.

19th anniversary sail

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Seconds tick into minutes. The gears of time grind onward clicking minutes into hours. Hours turn into days, then months, then years, then decades. Before I knew it, I spent half my life with the same person. Sometimes I want to stop the sand from flowing through the hourglass so fast, suspend time for awhile. I wish our days were as numerous as sand on the beach then I won’t have to grasp time so greedily before it slips away.

Paul and I left Friday morning to sail to our destination, a beautiful resort in Door County for our 19th anniversary. The winds were against us. But we didn’t have time to go any other days, we had to force it. Last minute I decided to pack my rain coat, even though we weren’t expecting rain. I took the above picture as we were leaving. A few minutes later, I exchanged my shorts for pants and put on my rain coat. We were sailing against the wind and 3 to 6 foot waves were smashing into the bow soaking me. We had to motor for 2 hours under these conditions. I barely kept down my breakfast. I guess that is what happens when nature conflicts with your schedule.
 

After several hours of fighting the waves, we finally were able to sail through smoother waters. We did sail awhile for fun, but it didn’t get us towards our destination. It is ironic how something seemingly small, like the wind or a slight change in direction, can set the whole trajectory off course. Marriage is a lot like that at times too. The funny thing is that we don’t really notice the little changes at the time. Only when we look back with a great amount of reflection can we try to chart where we went off course. 

 

We arrived safely at our destination and were very warmly greeted by the other sailors. We were even offered the use of a car if an emergency arose at home which I came close to taking them up on. Lol. I AM the worried mother of three teenagers after all! We toured a larger sailboat and were offered a sail the following morning. We politely declined to explore a new beach. 

The next morning we motored 45 minutes to a small beach that was remote to get to from land but rather crowded by water. We were planning on blowing up our dingy and having a picnic on shore followed by a swim. The spot where we anchored was rather weedy. Then we noticed that the beach was full and the water was empty. So we decided to ditch the whole dingy idea and head back to the resort pool. We were talking about the beach we explored with someone and how the people didn’t seem to care for the water. We were told that the water was 61 degrees! Bbbrrrrr!! I’m glad we decided to eat our lunch aboard and head back to the resort pool. I even went into the hot tub and sauna for awhile. 

That is summer in Wisconsin. 

To be continued…. 

Sail away for Father’s Day

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Yesterday we decided to sail to a new harbor for Father’s Day. We left in the morning with strong south winds. The biggest problem was that we were heading south! So we did end up motoring. It was another hot day and we spent most of the afternoon at the pool.

Then we drove into town to eat at an Indian restaurant. The food was great. Afterwards we all got back into my daughter’s small car. I squeezed myself into the back middle seat between my other two teens. I find that if I wedge myself in the middle, there is less fighting. Who wants fighting for Father’s Day?? But the problem was that I was carrying things on my lap and there wasn’t any floor room either.  So I shoved the leftover styrofoam boxes behind me by the back window. When my daughter hit the brakes for a red light, my leftover curry popped open and went down the back of my white shirt. Life always seems to be an adventure whether on land or sea!

After we got back to the boat, I decided to call my dad to wish him a happy Father’s Day. Paul and I were sitting alone on the boat at this time. It always feels a little ackward calling my dad when my husband doesn’t have a dad to call. It can be hard for me because my dad sounds so much like my grandma and her brother, the way he talks and mannerisms. I really miss them and sometimes he reminds me that they are gone. I saw a lot of pictures of women my age on Facebook with their dads, but I wasn’t one of them. I wish sometimes that my dad and I were closer.

So I spent the day with the best father that I know, my husband. I am very proud of him for being a wonderful dad despite never having a father himself. Sometimes I wish that things were different. Relationships can be messy and complicated. Right now I just feel thankful for what I have, a husband that makes a wonderful father. 

Not only was the car packed full of people yesterday, but the sailboat is rather small to fit all five of us overnight as well. The oldest two drove home for the night while Paul and I stayed overnight with Arabella. It was a windy night which kept away the bugs. It did cool off and we were expecting storms so we had to shut up everything tight for the night. It was sweltering hot in the middle of the night making it difficult to sleep. We opened everything up until the storms came through. The winds whistled through day and night. Over the weekend, we noticed that there was a problem with the mast. 

There is a wind advisory for today. With the weather and the condition of our boat, we are going to have to stay most of the day to wait things out. Another day by the pool with boat drinks doesn’t sounds that bad…

 

The full moon sailboat race

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Last night was the full moon sailboat race. This lighthouse was our first destination. It was a hot night with a light breeze.  

We enjoyed a beautiful sunset.

  

This was the first time that we sailed at night deliberately. I liked this picture because the moon looks like a skull. It made for a creepy effect.

We ended up having a total of 6 people crewing this race. I didn’t know 3 of the people. Rum dumb Randy was a part of the evening crew and he brought a friend that really had a taste for rum. Randy behaved himself, but his friend was rather colorful. His friend invited us to sail the Caribbean with him this fall during hurricane season. Um, no! Then there was another really nice couple. 

It is funny how many friends you have once you get a sailboat. Suddenly, I am no longer unfriended and I have a personality.

Race the sails

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Last night was race night at the sailing club.

It was a windy evening and the waves were high. I am still rocking a bit as I type these lines.

I am an alternate racer when Paul’s regular crew can’t be there.

It is an unwritten rule that men do not race with their wives. The reasoning behind this is that the men get rather worked up and tend to do a lot of yelling and sailor talk. But I figured since I work with my husband I could handle that. So, in other words, I am used to functioning in that mode already. After the race, I was asked if I got yelled at a lot. I replied that I did not get yelled at but did the yelling. Lol. It is a well known fact that I am a lot more competitive than Paul.

After the race, the ladies put on a meal for the sailors. I was one of the very few women that joined the ranks of sailor.

To be honest with you, I would rather go on a leisurely cruise than race though. Racing is a lot of work. Everything happens very fast. At a moment’s notice you have to tack. This requires a lot of upper body strength to pull the lines as fast and as hard as you can. I can see why a lot of women who are older than me would have a hard time doing this. It is hard for me and I consider myself a strong woman.

Racing also requires getting out on the bow with the whisker pole. This pole holds open the sheets in opposite directions to catch the wind. It also looks like someone is out on the bow doing ballet (or pole dancing), which can be tricky when the surface is wet. After they are done with that dance, they should take a bow.

Sometimes racing requires fighting gravity to run from one side of the boat to another quickly over lines that are in the way. Last night I had to get up on the bow to untangle a line. It really is a bigger workout than you would think it would be. It took the wind out of me! All the while fighting off other sailors that are trying to steal your wind..

I took this picture at the boat races last year when I wasn’t racing. The class A sailors use their spinnakers which are the colorful sails at the front of the boat. We are not in class A. We did take 2nd place last night which wasn’t too bad since we botched our start. This weekend there is a full moon sailboat race. Sounds like an adventure to me!

There is no doubt that I will get roped into doing this again.

 

Cabin chaos, part 4

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A couple of years back, Paul wanted to learn more about sailing. He signed up for a beginner’s sailing class. At the end of the class, the instructor suggested that the students buy a small sailboat to practice sailing. That is exactly what Paul did. He bought a 1960’s model 12 ft Puffer, complete with retro life jackets.

At the time, the sailboat seemed big. We took this boat up north and learned everything that we could on it. Since we bought a sailboat twice the size the following year, this boat looks so tiny. Now we keep this sailboat up north year round.

There were a few things that happened up north with the sailboat that were a little scary at the time. Now it makes for a humorous story.

We were up north for an unseasonably warm weekend in late September when Paul and Arabella decided to go for a sail. My mom was the one that alerted me of danger. A wind gust caught the small boat and tipped it over. Paul and Arabella were treading in cool deep water.

I couldn’t see them because the boat was blocking my view of them at first. I was worried that Paul got knocked out somehow. I feared that they were drowning or freezing to death. I tend to go through all of the worst case scenarios in my head. 

Paul said that they seemed to fall in slow motion. The biggest danger that they faced was losing the center board which he later secured.

I sent Angel and Alex out on a rescue mission in a paddle boat. I know what you are thinking. Really, a paddle boat?? Did that take a couple of months, or what? We didn’t have any other boats to send out. 

Meanwhile, under the stress of the rescue mission, Angel and Alex started fighting. I watched as my oldest two children started yelling, screaming, and swearing at each other over who had control of the paddle boat. The fighting escalated into pushing and shoving. Next thing I know, Angel was pushed overboard. Eventually, Angel and Arabella swam to shore and walked back to the cabin. I am glad we made sure that all of our kids are strong swimmers.

Paul and Alex struggled to bring the wayward boat back to shore. No lasting damage was done.

Too bad I didn’t get any pictures of that!

 

Cabin chaos, part 3

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After 50 years, the cabin became run down, bat ridden, and somewhat dilapidated. The roof leaked. The floor sagged under cracked worn flooring. Using the outhouse became outmoded as a commode. I really didn’t want to go up there anymore.

It was at this point that Aunt Grace decided to finance a major remodeling project. My brother Mark was the perfect guy for the job. He was good with his hands and was a very hard worker. When Mark was in middle school, he drew up a design for a water bed. He constructed the bed out of wood and spent the next 25 years sleeping in it.

Being the middle brother of my younger 3 brothers, Mark was almost invisible. Matt and Luke demanded almost all of the attention. Mark received attention and approval by working hard. He is the hardest worker that I have ever known. By the end of his teen years, he had already wrecked his knees and back from hard physical labor. Last summer I think he felt threatened when I told everyone that I was running a marathon. He told me that he bet he could run faster than me. He holds the title of family brawn.

Mark started to remodel the cabin in a process that took about 6 years. He managed the project and did a majority of the work despite living several hours away. He gutted out the cabin then put on new siding, new windows, redid the fireplace, and added an indoor bathroom. Once the old flooring was removed, we discovered hardwood floors underneath. Mark restored the hardwood flooring, put on a new roof, and put up dry wall. He also worked on the trim with precision and accuracy.

The most difficult thing he had to do was face his fears to get the job done. He braved claustrophobia, spiders, and rodents to squeeze in through a small opening to a crawl space. He needed to go underneath the cabin in a dark, musty, moldy dirt hole to reinforce the foundation. Plus, it was dangerous. If something went wrong, it could have collapsed and crushed him.

Everyone worked together as a team to complete the project, but almost all of the credit goes to Mark.

When Mark finished the remodeling project the cabin was magnificent.

 

Cabin chaos, part 2

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The calm and serenity of the lake seemed to mock my agitation.

What an absolutely gorgeous morning on the lake. Paul was enjoying one of his favorite pastimes, fishing.

 Meanwhile, back at the cabin there was an entirely different story altogether. I pulled the car up to the front of the cabin, opened the trunk, and started madly throwing all of our stuff inside.

On that day, Paul was a lot further out on the lake then he was on the day that I took this picture. He could barely see me as I wildly waved my arms in the air. He thought it was unusual that I parked the car close to the cabin. He saw me wave, but kept on fishing oblivious to what was happening across the lake. It was a time before cell phones were used, back before my youngest child was even born.

We arrived at the cabin in the early evening. We started a fire in the fireplace. As the evening wore on, we put our two worn out children to bed. The fire started to die out as we settled into our bedroom nearby. The fire cast dancing demons on the wall. Then it happened. We saw in the shadows a flutter of wings. We suddenly found ourselves in the setting of a cheap horror movie. What was that? A bat??!? Paul turned on all of the lights and opened the doors trying to get the bat outside. He thought that he was successful in his endeavor and we fell into a restless slumber.

Bats were not an uncommon sight at the cabin, especially after our garage infestation. Sometimes while we were spring cleaning we would spot a bat behind an old shirt. We had bats in the cabin several times when I was a kid. I also mistook their interest in insects as an interest in me or my long hair. 

The next morning, Paul woke up early to go fishing. He must have spooked a bat because after he left there was a bat in our room. It circled around the room for what seemed like 20 minutes. The minute I saw it, I screamed and hid under the blankets. My breathing quickened as my fear intensified. Then I heard a scratching on the screen of our window that was opened a crack. After I thought I was safe, I got up and started packing up all of our things. The kids never woke up during the whole incident.

Later we realized that the fireplace was the bat entrance and exit. The bats inside were not able to escape for the evening if we had a fire. 

I finally was able to get Paul’s attention. He came back and we got the kids in the car to leave when the rest of my family came up to the cabin. I told them that we were leaving and not coming back until the bats were gone. 
 

Cabin chaos, part 1

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Back in 1950, my great-grandparents bought a double lot on a quiet lake. The lake has been built up quite a bit since then and is not as quiet as it once was. But it is still beautiful. They built a cabin on the lake. When I was growing up, the only running water in the cabin was two sinks in the kitchen. We had an outhouse with a garage located between the cabin and the outhouse. There was also a boat house, a fish cleaning shack, and a screened in cook house with a long redwood table.

My family originally built a concrete retaining wall with stairs going down to the water in the center. It has since crumbled and shifted over time. The boat house was in bad shape and was torn down when I was a kid. The garage was the next building to go. The roof caved in and it housed bats. Every time that I had to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, the bats would swoop down at me. I turned on the lights outside in an attempt to keep them away. When I had the lights on, the guys across the road would see me running to the outhouse and whistle at me. It probably didn’t help that I was screaming and flailing about while in little summer nightgowns. If I could make it past the bats and creepy guys, my next fear was always the wasps. How did people survive having to use an outhouse all the time??

Eventually the garage was torn down as well. There was a lot of junk inside. There also was an antique car from the early 1900’s that was in rough shape. A lot of times my family was too cheap to buy new stuff for the cabin, so they took up mismatching plates, silverware, etc..

This summer I am planning on swimming across the lake to prepare for the tri. I will probably not be biking or running up north though because at this time we do not have an easy way to bathe. I am afraid that stinking would be frowned upon and my family would no longer support my crazy fitness habits.

This is going to be a very short series telling some of the funniest stories.

The travel diaries; Park City, Utah

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Paul and I have been to Park City a couple times for business. Park City is a ski resort town. This town hosted the winter Olympics back in 2002. As you enter town, you can see a massive ski jump. There are ski lifts located throughout the town. The resort that we stayed at was a ski resort in the winter. On the top left corner of the above picture, you can see a ski lift. In the off season, there are miles and miles of ski slopes turned into hiking trails.

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We spent a lot of our free time hiking at the resort. We rarely saw any other people on the trails. There weren’t a lot of signs, but surprisingly we didn’t get lost.

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It is absolutely beautiful in the fall.

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We didn’t spend all of our time wandering around, however the few pictures I have of downtown Park City were not quite as scenic. While we were in Park City, we had some of the best sushi ever. Too bad I don’t remember the name of the restaurant. It was small and crowded, but had some of the best sushi. We also stopped in at the Wasatch Brewery for food and drinks. I tried the jalapeno beer. It was strange, the warmer the beer got the spicier it seemed. I also liked the Polygamy Porter. It was so good that I had to buy the I’ve tried polygamy shirt. I am a little paranoid to wear it at home in case I offend some of the Mormons in the area. It also had other little sayings on it like bring some back home for the wives and one is just not enough.

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Back at the resort, we got together with Joe and some other business friends at the resort bar. The liquor laws in Utah are rather strict. I’ve heard that Park City is more lenient then other places in the state. For example, if we wanted to order a round of drinks, we had to purchase an appetizer first. I vaguely remember the bartender saying that if a beer is on tap that it has to contain 4% alcohol or less.

Park City is a nice little tourist town. I can’t imagine how beautiful it must be there in the winter. Throughout the town, they had little bonfire warming spots which weren’t lit while we were there. It was a clean town and the people were friendly. It was quiet in the off season. It was nice to have this beautiful town to ourselves.