It’s been ages since we last talked. What can I say, life has been busy.

My new granddaughter, KK, is almost three months old already. She is a darling little girl. I can already tell she is going to have a strong personality. Mark my words on that one. I expected I would feel a lot of anxiety with a new little one to love. But I am not very anxious at all, about anything really. Maybe it’s the meds.

My biggest stressor right now is work. So I guess that’s not too bad as I could always find something better if it gets to be too much. Then on my day off during the week, I usually babysit for KK. Dan and Angel are adjusting well to being new parents. They have a lot on their plate, but they are handling everything magnificently. In the last couple weeks, they moved into my parents house. Dan has been remodeling and it looks like a whole new house. It needed it as it wasn’t updated since my parents build the house in the 1970’s. I joke around with them that if I ever move back into the house when I end up getting dementia I will be so confused.

It’s been almost 5 months now since my mom passed. Now my dad is on hospice for congestive heart failure. I doubt he will make it through the year. My feelings for him are so mixed. He wasn’t a good dad or even a good person. Him reaping what he sowed always seemed like a good concept in the past, but now it’s just miserably sad.

I’m not really sure what the holidays will bring this year. We would typically get together with my brothers, our families, and my mom. But now my mom is gone. My brother Matt had a little blip last month. He got aggressive with one of his caregivers and verbally attacked her. He has been docile for almost a decade. The last time he was aggressive was when my mom took him off his antipsychotic meds. Which leads me to wonder if his meds are starting to not work anymore. Angel doesn’t want to have KK around Matt and I am in agreement with her. I think it is wise. In my vast experience with psychotic family members, they are the best people to be around if they are medicated right but if not, watch out!

My immediate family is doing well. Arabella started a job as a bartender, but the village voted to not approve her bartender license because of her criminal record from when she was in psychosis. So she wasn’t able to keep that job, and instead went back to being a server recently getting a new job. All my kids seem to be in good places, and are getting along. What more could I ask for?

I am still working toward some bucket list items. In a couple of weeks, Paul and I will be travelling to New Mexico. That will be state 44 out of 50. I would also like to go to all continents and have 3 to go. This winter I am planning on finishing my book. I have more of my mom’s journals to go through. Plus tons of pictures that I need to organize and label. After my dad, I am the oldest living member on my dad’s side. Once that knowledge is gone, we can’t get it back. It’s going to sound silly, but one of the things I miss most about my mom is she was good at giving gifts. I will never get another gift from her again and once those gifts get old or wear out, there won’t be anything left.

Ah, and now I’m sad. Dang! It will be a good day though.

I hope to talk to you again soon.